keepin' it real

Coming home from work. photo credit: Katie

How Dave spends his days off.

veggin'

I am not generally one to complain about my lot in life. A lot of people warned me about how hard residency is on family life and for the most part we've been okay. Dave's kidney stone was a rough spot, but generally speaking, I feel like I have been coping just fine. In fact, I feel like it has been much better than I anticipated. (I won't speak for Dave, though.) I get into my groove and make plans and deal with things as they come.

But sometimes it just sucks.

Because for every long day he has, I have a long day too. I can't complain to him about it, because, let's face it, he will clock 80 hours this week.

Tonight was just hard. Jack had a baseball game for about 30 minutes until they decided it was raining too hard to keep playing. I came home and made a quick dinner but all anyone ate was tortilla chips. I then spent the next 30 minutes trying to get kids to help out a bit and then got Katie ready and tucked into bed and then waited and waited for Dave to get home so I could go to a meeting that started at 7, but I thought it started at 7:30 and then he finally walked in at 8 and I probably should have just stayed home but I didn't want to so I left and caught the tail end of it. I am glad I went but then when I got home the big kids still weren't in bed and dinner was still on the table and Katie was still awake because she is the worst go-to-bed-er in the world and I was super annoyed. But then I felt guilty for being annoyed because Dave worked freakin' 14 hours in one day and I read a book and took Katie to the zoo and ignored the mounds of clean clothes that need put away so who am I to complain? Katie finally settled down and I got the kids in bed and asleep just in time for Dave to fall asleep because he has to wake up at 5:30 to start all over again.
 
Sigh...

I don't want to be a Debby Downer. Life is good. It is so good. I am so glad Dave has a good job and is getting such excellent training. He is a fabulous dad and he is humble and intuitive and I could not have asked for a better spouse.

I just wanted to keep it real for a minute. 

The end. 

Close up picture of Charlie so we feel happy again. :)

7 things I hope my kid learns playing baseball

Baseball season is upon us. This is our first year and I was nervous when I realized what a commitment it was- 2 games a week and a practice. But I must say that I absolutely love it! I actually enjoy watching the games and cheering Jack on. I am a little surprised at how much. Jack loves it too. He was nervous at first and there was one game he refused to play. But his coaches are great and now he really enjoys it. He is pretty consistent at hitting the ball and pretty fast of a runner.

But even though I really like the game and hopes he is successful, kid sports are about so much more than the hopes of playing pro. I have not preconceived notions of Jack being a superstar. But I do hope he learns a few things.

7 things I hope my kid learns playing sports


1 - Do your best.

No matter what anyone else does or how they perform, you can always strive to do your very best. It may look different than someone else's best, but the harder you work, the better you will get. You can always feel happy when you know you did your very best.

2 - You are a part of a team.

There is something wonderful about being part of something bigger than yourself. As a team, you cheer each other on. You form friendships. You set an example for each other. You share in each others' joys and sorrows. You encourage and lift up one another.  When you learn to function in a team, you learn that other people depend on us, just as we depend on them.  You learn to look for ways you can help and lift others, because when you help others do their best, it helps you too. When one member of a family or a group succeeds, it is a success for everyone.

3 - Be a good sport.

I was so impressed by Jack's teammate the other day. He was playing first base and when an opponent made it safe to his plate, he turned to him and said, "Nice hit." That is what it means to be a good sport.  One person's talent does not diminish our ability to work hard and do our best. We can always be happy for another person when they do a good job or when something exciting happens to them.

4 - Prepare

At any given moment, you need to be ready. Warm-up. Practice, practice, practice. Be ready to catch and throw. To know where you will throw the ball if it comes your way. Life requires that same preparation. Read and study. Make a plan of action and work towards it.

5 - Be flexible.

There are always unexpected things that happen. Sometimes the ball will come your way and sometimes it won't. Sometimes you will need to throw it to first base and sometimes to home. Be willing to adapt. You won't succeed if you can't adapt to the changing circumstances.

6 - Listen to your coach

He knows what he is talking about.

7 - You can do hard things

Getting better at something is hard. Trying something new can be uncomfortable. But being nervous or unsure can't stop us from trying. Dig in. Work hard. The reward at the end is so great when you try something hard and do it!


If you happen to learn how to play baseball in the process, that's great too.

mother, tell me a story

I love stories. I read and I write because I think stories are important. We all know that what makes a good book is the way the characters develop over time as they interact with conflict and hardship.  We all have our own stories, too. We have experiences that shape us and mold us. I am drawn to these stories. When we discover, uncover, and hear others' stories, we can't help but love them. We see their heart. This week as I had a chance to gather with women and they shared their stories. There were stories of heartache and stories of grace. It was beautiful. Everybody's stories are beautiful.

As I have thought about mothers this week, I have been particularly drawn to the women in my family (because my family has a lot of women) and their stories. My mother and my sisters are amazing women and though we seem similar on the surface, we all have our own stories and they are all beautiful.

My wedding 2005

My oldest sister Kelli is one of the smartest women I know. And she is also incredibly gracious, patient, and most of all, selfless. She has given up so much to give her 6 girls every opportunity in the world.

Teri's story is one of love and support to her husband as he battled cancer and then to support him some more while he served in 3 bishoprics, a high council and now again as Bishop of his ward. She also has 6 young kids.

Karianne amazes me with her ability to teach her kids to work.  And now she is a working mother herself and I know it is hard. Her family knows how to dig in, to take risks and to do hard things.

Wendy's story includes moving every few years and sending her husband off to 3 military tours in the middle east. She does it without complaining because she knew what she was getting herself into. She digs in and deals with it.

My sister-in-law Lori definitely is the cool, fun mom. She looks for any reason do special things with her kids and to celebrate them. Her story is also one of heartache when her own mother passed away from cancer. My brother definitely married up.

And then my 3 other sisters, Shari, Heather and Cindy, who aren't mothers yet but who love all their nieces and nephews (all 28 of them!). They are also women of faith and fortitude. Shari has stories of heartache and yet presses on with a smile on her face. Heather is a loyal friend to those around her and has a great sense of humor. Cindy's story is one of perseverance, particularly over the last few years as she has worked on getting her Master's degree.

I am so blessed to have such remarkable women for my sisters. I could go on and talk about Dave's sisters, who are equally amazing and of course my amazing mother-in-law, who is the best one on the planet. I am sure of it.

And of course, my own Mother. I don't know all her stories. I hope to know more of them.  I know a little of the heartaches she has experienced.  Becoming a mother myself has helped me see a glimpse of her incredible mother heart. It is full of love and worry for her children. And it is full of faith.  I think her story is one of faith. I am so grateful for the way she taught us to believe in God. I can say, like the Army of Helaman, "I do not doubt my mother knew it." (Alma 56:48)

I am so incredibly grateful and humbled to be a tiny part in the stories of these fantastic women in my life.

my family is a decade old

10 years of marriage
4 kids
7 years of school ( 3 diplomas)
4 major moves (8 different houses and thousands of miles)
3 surgeries (4 if you count Ana's teeth)

May 2005

When I met Dave I had no idea where it was going to lead. In fact, up until just before we started dating I had decided I wanted to serve a mission. I was ready to get my papers started so I could go as soon as I turned 21. After we started dating I still really wanted to go, but it just felt right and good and happy when we were together. We got married 4 weeks before my 21st birthday.

It has been a happy 10 years. Of course, there have been hard times. Times when money has been really tight and things have been stressful. Times when we drove each other crazy.  But overall, and perhaps because of those things, we have been happy. We haven't had many grand adventures. No excursions to other countries or anything like that. Our traveling has consisted of mini trips to places not far from home and a big move across the country for a few years.  Our adventures have been in studying science textbooks and chasing little feet. The last 10 years have been quite ordinary.

I am okay with ordinary. It is a wonderful, happy place to be. And I am so very, very grateful that we have had each other the last 10 years. I can't imagine anyone else putting up with me like he does. And I know he feels the same. We suit each other quite well. That doesn't mean we always agree. We have different ways of doing things. But we accept each other. He has never asked "what have you done all day?" when he comes home to a messy house. He doesn't think twice of holding down the fort for things like sister's weekends or even just a night out with girlfriends. He supports me in whatever endeavor I attempt and always tells me how smart and capable he thinks I am. He helps me to see when I am raising my voice because a lot of times I don't even realize I am doing it, I just get worked up or excited and it just happens. I don't always appreciate it in the moment, but I think I am getting better and a lot of that is because of him. And he is such a good, humble, faithful man. There have been so many times when people have told me how much it has meant to them when he has taken time to stop and visit with people or check in on them.  I am so very grateful for that quality.

2004

Engagement Photo: 2005

"studying" 2005

Wedding day 2005

Family Reunion 2005

Having kids definitely changed our relationship, but it has made it better. One of the things I love about him so much is how he is as a father. 

+ Ana 2006

+ Jack 2008

Dave is very good at making sure we take time just for us.  Almost every night seems like a mini "date." We talk about the day, watch TV or a movie, eat snacks and just be close and together. 

A little getaway to northern Idaho - summer 2009

+ Katie 2011

2011

+Charlie 2015

On Coronado, Spring Break 2015

We didn't have much of a celebration. Most years we go out to eat someplace nice but with Dave's schedule it hasn't happened yet. Dave worked today and I took the kids to church. I did make some yummy cake and then we sang happy birthday to our family. I like this idea because it helps the kids to see why this day is important.

 

10th anniversary selfie!

Here's to the next 10 years. I wonder what it will have in store.