this winter

This winter has been weird.

After last year's incessant snowing with our own version of the alps right outside our house, I never, never thought I would say, "I wish it would snow."

But here I am, not one year after that freak spring blizzard and I am here to say, "I wish it would snow."

Oh, we've had little snow, but what we've had more of is rain and ice. I've never seen anything like it. It rains and rains and because of the frozen ground it has no where to go so it just pools on the grass and then freezes, resulting in frozen ponds all over the grass and sidewalks and roads. It is quite unreal to see.

We did get a few inches a couple weeks ago and so we ventured out to a hill to go sledding. It was windy and freezing cold! And since then the snow has melted. But we got this good video:



Ana had fun anyway.

Hopefully February will bring us 1 or 2 good snowstorms. Then I'll be okay with spring coming. I still miss the sunshine.

party planner

A couple Saturdays ago Ana asked me if she could have a "rainbow party."

I said "sure."

You would have thought I had handed her the moon. She took over in planning.

"Okay, Mom. I want to have a rainbow cake and fruit. We are going to eat ... strawberries, oranges, bananas, green grapes, no, green apples, blueberries and grapes."

At one point, she had visions of rainbow colored snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and many other things that didn't come to fruition, but she was still satisfied with the outcome. After much deliberation, she decided for a game they were going to play "pin the body part on the rainbow snowman."

Last Saturday she had a few friends over for the grand event. She took charge, and it seemed like everyone had a great time.




It was really fun for me to watch her plans unfold. Even though the party was simpler than she had initially envisioned, she had a great time, and I loved seeing her feeling of empowerment in the planning.

Ana has always been full of big ideas and most of the time they mean a lot of work for me. But it was fun to just say "yes" and to help her accomplish it. Her passion and enthusiasm is contagious and I found myself getting excited for her party, too.

I love that little girl.

offline

I've always been a "writer." I'm not saying I am a talented writer, but I've always loved writing.

I filled 15 journals before Dave and I were married. My first book, "The Train without a Track" I wrote when I was ... well, younger than 9. (I don't remember exactly when, but it was before the family moved to Idaho). My dad typed it up for me. I illustrated it. And we put it in a binding. I still have it. It is by no means an eloquent or even consistent book, but I like the memory of it. I also have pages and pages of a "cheesy church novel" that I started writing in my tween years about twins named Vicki and Nicki. I wrote the first few chapters and marked them all up with edits. I still have them tucked away in a folder.

That's part of the reason why I like blogging so much. I love writing my thoughts and experiences. And I love that our families can "see" our family grow from far away.

Spending a week offline really got me thinking about priorities. I make writing here a priority because I like it. It is for me most of all.

Admittingly, I was amazed at how much I got done while offline. I got all my laundry washed, dried, folded and put away in 2 days. My dishes are done. My living room (mostly) straightened up. And I read to the kids, played several rounds of Ice Cream Scoops of Fun, taught Jack's preschool, made dinner for a friend one night, remembered important phone calls, smiled and laughed at the funny things Jack says, enjoyed Ana's hosting her first "just for fun" party, and so much more. I did feel a little out of the loop and I missed a few important messages, but really, I didn't miss much.

Life is simpler when we focus on what matters most. And though I don't feel the need to turn off my computer indefinitely, I can see where I can cut back. I like to keep things simple.

complicated conveniences

The other day I was talking to my sister about motherhood.

Most mothers agree, motherhood is hard. But why?

It isn't hard to do the dishes. It isn't hard to play with my kids. It isn't hard to do laundry or sing songs or play games or run errands or read stories.

But to do those things day in and day out. To clean the living room and kitchen at least 3 times a day. To wash and fold and put away week after week. To read the same story over and over again. To teach children the same things repeatedly. And to do it all with a smile on your face and gratefulness in your heart: that is hard.

I think there is something else too.

There are so many things that make our lives more convenient. But in thinking on these things, I have realized that convenience does not equal simple. In fact, I think the opposite is true.

Convenience complicates things.

It is so convenient to have fast, easy meals, but that complicates our health.

It is so convenient to keep in touch, but it seems to complicate our relationships.

It is so convenient to hear what parenting "experts" say and other parents do, but it seems to complicate our view of ourselves as mothers.

It seems having the world at our fingertips make us less in touch with ourselves and less satisfied with our lives. Cheap, easy stuff and information turns into filling our homes and minds and lives with things that don't really matter. Sifting through it all to find happiness, wisdom and peace is hard.

But what if we took it away. What if we lived with less convenience? What if we took the time to make good, wholesome food for our families? What if we took real time to nurture relationships in our family and with our friends? What if we stopped listening to what parenting gurus or other mothers say is important and reconnected with ourselves and God?

I think we would find more happiness in motherhood. And in life. Of course, it will never be easy or convenient. It isn't supposed to be. But it can be less complicated.

In an effort to simplify, I'm going on a computer "fast" for a week. I need to get back to basics. I need to take out some of these conveniences that complicate (pinterest! facebook! endless internet searches!) and focus on just being here.

See you in a week!

right now

*Right now, Ana is doing the dishes. She insisted that I sit down. She brought me the computer and she said, "Mom, don't worry, I will take care of everything."

She also said, "I'm just giving you a break from all that work."

*Right now, Katie is practically crawling. Not in the traditional sense, but she is definitely moving around by pushing off her feet. Nothing is safe.

*Right now, Jack is playing babies. But his baby flies around and jumps off stuff and rescues things.

ordinary days

"normal day, let me be aware of the treasure that you are." - mary jean iron

I heard this quote a few months ago and it keeps popping into my mind.

It has been a week of very normal days.

Somehow, each evening when I'm making dinner with a baby on my hip, listening to Ana plunk out her piano practicing, with Jack at my feet telling me something over and over and getting louder and louder, it occurs to me how wonderful my life is.

These normal days make me so happy.

Watching the snow fall outside:

Playing puppy in the "doghouse":

Katie's first solids:

Ana's sick day:

The day Jack wanted Katie in this box and she actually loved it:

I really do treasure these ordinary days.

first things first

I had some thoughts over on our happiness project blog. Read them HERE.

Today our water is going to be turned off at noon to fix a broken fire hydrant down the road. My mind is swirling of things to do in case it is off all afternoon (like wash Ana's sheets).

Have a happy day!

new year snapshot #4: me

Quite frankly, I am a mess.

I realized it a few weeks ago and mostly have been noticing things that support it. I can't keep up on housework (though that is nothing new). I rarely fix my hair. I am usually running late. I drop things, spend too much time on the computer, and am super forgetful. In a culminating moment of my mess-ness, I found myself at church with a baby who exploded out her diaper, and me without any clean diapers or extra clothes for her. (Luckily, there were extra diapers in the mother's lounge and then I ran home to get her clothes.)

Surprisingly, this reality has not depressed me. Actually, the opposite is true. It was liberating. For the first time in a long time I really saw myself, and I was okay with it.

But if I am going to be a mess, I want to be a happy mess. Too often I find myself annoyed, frustrated, and short-tempered. This just will not do. I'd rather be known as a happy person than a got-it-all-together person.

As part of my New Year's resolutions this year, I want to spend my energy being happier. Which is why my sisters and I have started our own happiness project, based on this book. I do have a few other resolutions as well. (Because quite frankly, I'd like to be slightly less of a mess by 2013.)

So far, I feel like I'm off to a good start. This last week I have felt a lot happier. So though my house is still a mess, and I was still late for church this morning, I think 2012 will be a good year.

new year snapshot #3: ana marie

I don't know what to say about this girl. If I were to describe Ana in one word it would be "dichotomous."

She is compassionate and careless.

She loves to help and doesn't like to work.

She adores her baby sister, and is annoyed by her brother.

She is enthusiastic and dramatic.

She is full of big ideas and unrealistic expectations.

As always, she is a super problem-solver. (Sometimes solving problems that don't exist.)

She still has not grown out of her "why" phase that she started 3 years ago.

She is always full of new challenges and new joys. But having a school-kid is fun!

Ana loves kindergarten! She is motivated by friends and art projects - both of which are in ample supply at school.

She wants to wear skirts + leggings every day to school. She has put holes in - count them - 7 pairs of leggings since school started.

I love that Ana wants to draw pictures and write letters for her friends. I spell no less than 3,842 words aloud for her each day.

I love that she wants to learn to play the piano.

I love that she and her friends are starting to put on little shows. I remember doing that.

Every once in a while, she tells us she wants to be called "Marie."

On Monday I told her I would miss her while she was at school and she said, "Mom, we've been together for a few weeks, I think we need to spend some time apart."

She says "like" in her sentences. which makes her sound like a teenager.

She has grown up so much in the last year. I loved having her home last week. She brings life and spirit into our home.

new year snapshot #2: katie-koo

I should have posted this yesterday. Because yesterday Katie was 5 months old. What?!? 5 months old? That flew by in a hurry.

The days are long, but the years (also the months) are so, so short.

Katie is a dream. We are all smitten with her. Ana loves to tote her around. (Katie doesn't mind.) Jack loves to make her smile and laugh and every time he announces, "Katie smiled at me!" Dave loves to snuggle and hold her. I love it when she falls asleep in the sling on my hip. Her little face melts my worries and eases my grumpies.

At 5 months old Katie:

*is big for her age. I keep thinking she's a little bitty thing but she's not.

*rolls over all the time. She loves to roll onto her tummy and reach and grab for stuff.

*cat naps most days. Every once in a while, she'll have a good 2 hour nap, but usually they are under 1 hour.

*usually sleeps a good 7 hour stretch at night. Except last week, when she woke up every 3 hours. But last night she was back to her 7 hour stretch.

*will probably crawl in the next month. She already pushes up to her hands, pushes herself backward, and tries to get her legs up under her. She often uses her face for traction when she's pushing off with her feet. It is quite comical.

*doesn't like to be left alone. She is a social baby and wants to be played with, held, and talked to all her waking hours.

*is the squirmiest baby in the world. I should have known because she never stopped moving in my tummy either. She squirms the entire time I feed her. She squirms and wiggles while I'm carrying her around. She squirms sitting in the bumbo. She never. stops. squirming.

*decided she was ready for solids before Mommy was ready. Now she's eating oatmeal and applesauce - and loving it! - and I am lamenting the mess and the days when I could take 10 minutes to nurse instead of 30 minutes to spoon feed. (I keep telling myself I'll be happy when I can just give her a graham cracker and let her go to town, but until then, I am lamenting.)

*smiles and giggles so easily. Especially when her siblings jump around or do silly things or when she is tickled.

Life is good with 3. It's like she's always been here.

new year snapshot #1: jackers

I have a list of "new years" posts I want to publish, but I first want to take some time to snapshot my kids. First we'll start with Jacky-Boy.

He is 3. He is adorable. He is all-boy.

I keep having this feeling that even though I think he is so BIG now, in a few short years he really will be big, and I'll realize that at 3 he was little and adorable. I'm trying to enjoy his little-ness.

He gets dressed by himself first thing every morning. Even before eating "brefkrist." He wants to wear Lightning McQueen undies every day, even though he only as 4 pair. He has specific outfits that go together and won't budge about it.

He still loves to play cars. Mostly he names them what they look like: "yellow-red" and "silver window" or my personal favorite, an orange Reeses brand hot-wheel that he named "drive candy car."

He likes to hide behind my leg and frown when adults talk to him. But when he's in his element (a.k.a. home) he doesn't stop talking. Unless he's singing.

He takes his role as annoying-little-brother seriously. He loves to tease Ana and her friends.

He takes his role as big brother seriously. He still will get me diapers. He smiles and coos at Katie and loves to make her laugh by jumping around the room.

He says "thanks for the yummy food, Mom" after dinner. He prays for everyone in the family during his prayers. He randomly gives hugs and says "I love you, Mom."

He started Primary yesterday. He loved it, even though it took him most of the 30 minute singing time for him to start singing.

I can tell him to clean his room or get pjs on and he does it right away.

Whenever he doesn't like something - whether a friend who doesn't share or going to time-out for hitting - he reacts the same way: screaming. It isn't a temper tantrum, but he cries and does so very loudly.

Every week at the library he wants to check out "space books": non-fiction books about the planets, stars and space. His favorite is Saturn. Right now he calls himself "Jack Saturn J.A.C.K. Larsen." He will sit while I read the whole thing (about 15 or 20 minutes) and he knows quite a few facts about Space. Like that stars are born in a nebula. And that Saturn's rings are chunks of ice and dust. The other day I was reading a space book and we came to a page about Supernovas and he said, "Supernovas are really bright. If we ever went by a supernova, the light would touch my eye and I would need to wear supernova glasses."

I am still wrapped around his finger.