i want to remember ...

... the conversation I had while walking the dog with Katie last week. She mentioned that people often tell her she is cute. I asked her if people tell her she is nice. "Yes." Friendly? "Yes." A hard worker? "Yes." "Good," I said. "I always want to hear that you work hard and are nice to people." She then said something that I think is really profound. "But, Mom, sometimes my feelings take over."  Yes, I thought. Sometimes my feelings take over too.

... Charlie requesting "Edelweiss" for his bedtime song and singing it frequently throughout the day.
(I have an adorable video of this, but don't have it uploaded yet.)

... Ana telling me that even though some people drift away from their parents as they get older, she feels like she is the opposite.

... that Jack always has friends coming over to play.

We are so lucky to have landed here.

catapults and privileges

Jack has a school project due tomorrow. They were supposed to build something using simple machines. He designed a catapult, and he and Dave built it. It works fabulously.  He is so proud of it.

Jack and his awesome catapult!

I guess some kids brought their project today. At dinner time Jack was telling us about how some other kids also did a catapult. "I liked their designs, but they didn't work as well." He then told us all about the other kids' catapults and what their designs were like and what he liked about them and what went wrong. He wasn't insulting them, just being honest. He was generous in his praise of their designs and structure.

I thought about how Dave was there to coach Jack on his design, to help him buy wood, to call our neighbor to cut the wood, and then to work side-by-side as they built it together. I thought about what would have happened if the project was due a few months ago when Dave was working so much we were all exhausted and what it would have been like if I would have had to do it with Jack. I thought about other kids whose parents maybe didn't have the time or inclination or skill to help them with each step. It made me grateful that my kids have such a great dad. Part of me felt guilty - that maybe he should have done it all on his own. But then I realized how much he learned by having his dad help him. Dave has a gift of perfection and precision (one that I lack) and Jack learned a lot about how to help it be more stable, and how to drill a little hole so that the screw goes in better and how to measure it just right. Those are all things he needed, and truthfully, I could not have provided it for him. In that moment I realized just how lucky we are.

And then we talked about it as a family. We talked about how so many people don't have the opportunities we have and I asked the kids what they think our responsibility is to those who are less fortunate. Jack's first thought was "don't brag." A valid point, for sure. We should be humble and realize that what we have isn't just because of our hard work, but of so many circumstances that we lucked into.

We talked about how we have an obligation to help lift and bless those around us. It is our responsibility.  Dave read from the Book of Mormon when Moroni wrote to Pahoran, scolding him for not taking better care of the people. "And now, my beloved brethren - for ye ought to be beloved; yea and ye ought to have stirred yourselves more diligently for the welfare and freedom of this people. ...  Behold, could ye supposed that ye could sit upon your thrones, and because of the exceeding goodness of God ye could do nothing and he would deliver you?" (Alma 60:10-11)  We are privileged and blessed, and "Because I have been given much, I too must give."

I don't know if the kids were paying attention or not, but it struck a chord with me. I hope to do a better job at teaching them how to be a influence for good in the lives of others.

re-cap

Summer came and went.

I like slow summers. Summers full of otter pops and kids playing in the sprinkler. Maybe some camping and getting together with family, but mostly just hanging out at home.

This was NOT one of those summers.


Job interviews: We went to two. One in Northern California; one in Idaho. Both were delightful experiences.

Family Weddings: Dave had four nieces/nephews get married this summer. We attended two of the weddings and one of the other receptions. So, that was busy. They all looked so happy and it was wonderful to live close enough to attend.

Boise: Dave worked three straight weeks of the night shift which is basically the worst. We don't see him at all. Even his one day off a week he sleeps all day and then stays awake all night. Plus keeping all four kids quiet requires me to be much more helicopter-y than I am comfortable with. So the kids and I packed up and headed to Boise to be with my sister. It was a delightful, though short, visit. It is awesome that Dave's family lives half way there because it makes for a convenient stop along the way.

Logan: The last week of summer vacation I went up to Cache Valley and convinced my sister to play hookie from her job to hang out at the lake. Perfect ending.

We (minus Dave) also went to my Mom's family reunion, which was quite delightful and Ana got to spend a few days at Grandma's house all by herself, which made her feel quite grown up and also homesick.


Now school has started. Katie was so excited for the first day and it did not disappoint. ("It was the perfect first day!") Jack was nervous, but his teacher is good so far and he likes it. Plus his best friend is in his class, so that helps a ton.

Ana and I are beginning home school. Everyone said to spend time "deschooling" and so we have spent the first week taking it slow. Baking, shopping, cleaning, reading, playing (educational) games, and getting lots of physical activity. I am kind of making it up as I go along. I do have a list of the standards to guide me, but when I looked at curricula nothing felt like the right fit for us. The night before school started when the kids got their back to school blessings, I asked for one too. It brought me a lot of peace and comfort. Ana and I have always butted heads a bit, and that has always made me hesitant to home school her. But I know this is the right thing for us at this time. I don't know if it will be a forever solution or just for right now, but I'm glad that I know this is the right choice. It will help me when things get difficult to know that this is what God wants for us right now. I am confident that it will strengthen our relationship.

So here we go into a new school year. There are things to be nervous about and things to be excited about and even things to be sad about since this is our final year in Utah.

Sometimes I do get nostalgic, especially when I look at pictures of my kids when they were littler, but for the most part, I am always excited to watch my kids grow up. I don't think it's sad and I don't really think "stay my babies forever." I usually think "Grow. Learn. Change. Do Amazing things. Live." A new school year always reminds me that they are doing just that. I'm happy with the people they are becoming.

it's a good time

Summer has arrived.

...sigh of happiness...

I love having the kids home. Pretty much everyone I talk to is all like "I have/want to have a good routine for the summer and the kids will do chores and homework" and I'm all like "yay! no routine! no homework!"

That's how we roll around here. But it's not like they sit around watching TV all day. They have chores (but it's more along the lines of "Ana, go pick up the living room" or "Jack, clean out the dishwasher") and they still read and play and whatnot. I love summer so much, though. Warm weather. Popsicle smiles. Running through the sprinklers. Going on hikes. And sometimes, sitting at home doing nothing.

We've had a pretty exciting summer so far.

*I turned 32.  I like being 32 so far. Actually, I love being in my 30s. I think it is my best decade yet. I actually feel like I totally like who I am. That I have talents and gifts. That I can do good things and make improvements and what not. It's very liberating.

*Jack turned 8 and then got baptized a few days later. It was a fabulous day and so far, I can tell he is taking his new responsibility seriously. Earlier in the year he was really having a heard time and I struggled to know what to do to help him. But he seems to have gotten past whatever it was and he has been wonderful lately. He also went to his first cub scout day camp and had a great time.

*Dave has had an easy schedule this month and it's been great to see him so much.

*We went on a family trip to Northern California to interview for a job there. It's a long story of how and why we ended up interviewing there, and I won't get into the details. But the town was delightful and gorgeous, the people were humble and kind, and in general we left with a very good impression. We still have a few more jobs that we are looking into, but NoCal was fun to explore a bit. It was beautiful. We even took a slight detour off of I-80 to go to Lake Tahoe and we loved every minute of the hour we were there. Okay, I didn't love pulling Charlie away. He was having too much fun throwing rocks in the lake and NOT being in the car. We also swung up to Rupert for a day to visit Dave's parents.

*Charlie is starting to talk more and more. It seems like it has taken him a lot longer than the other kids, but that might just be my imagination. This week along he started saying "some" (when he wants something) and he will sign please. He says "thank you" any time you give him something and it is adorable. He can be a little pill sometimes because he is busy and determined, but he has a charming smile that wins me over every time.

*Ana has been such a delight to have home. She plays with Charlie so much. I don't know what I would do without her. In general she is willing to do what I ask and she is so helpful. I'm going to homeschool her next year and I'm really looking forward to building that relationship.

*Katie is hilarious and as fun as ever. She is so ready for kindergarten. And this week she learned how to do the monkey bars. I am blown away by just how big and grown up she is getting. Today I was talking to her a little bit about being safe and what do if she gets lost, etc. After a few minutes, she said, "Mom, can we stop talking about this. I'm starting to feel a little sad." She has such a tender heart.

I love this life that I have. To quote Andy Dwyer (from Parks and Rec) "My whole life is a giant mess and I love it." That's pretty much how I feel. So if you stop by this summer, you will likely see toys in the yard, crafts of the table, dishes in the sink, and me doing the crossword puzzle while Charlie runs around in a diaper. You are welcome anyway. It's always a good time.

7 things I hope my kid learns playing baseball

Baseball season is upon us. This is our first year and I was nervous when I realized what a commitment it was- 2 games a week and a practice. But I must say that I absolutely love it! I actually enjoy watching the games and cheering Jack on. I am a little surprised at how much. Jack loves it too. He was nervous at first and there was one game he refused to play. But his coaches are great and now he really enjoys it. He is pretty consistent at hitting the ball and pretty fast of a runner.

But even though I really like the game and hopes he is successful, kid sports are about so much more than the hopes of playing pro. I have not preconceived notions of Jack being a superstar. But I do hope he learns a few things.

7 things I hope my kid learns playing sports


1 - Do your best.

No matter what anyone else does or how they perform, you can always strive to do your very best. It may look different than someone else's best, but the harder you work, the better you will get. You can always feel happy when you know you did your very best.

2 - You are a part of a team.

There is something wonderful about being part of something bigger than yourself. As a team, you cheer each other on. You form friendships. You set an example for each other. You share in each others' joys and sorrows. You encourage and lift up one another.  When you learn to function in a team, you learn that other people depend on us, just as we depend on them.  You learn to look for ways you can help and lift others, because when you help others do their best, it helps you too. When one member of a family or a group succeeds, it is a success for everyone.

3 - Be a good sport.

I was so impressed by Jack's teammate the other day. He was playing first base and when an opponent made it safe to his plate, he turned to him and said, "Nice hit." That is what it means to be a good sport.  One person's talent does not diminish our ability to work hard and do our best. We can always be happy for another person when they do a good job or when something exciting happens to them.

4 - Prepare

At any given moment, you need to be ready. Warm-up. Practice, practice, practice. Be ready to catch and throw. To know where you will throw the ball if it comes your way. Life requires that same preparation. Read and study. Make a plan of action and work towards it.

5 - Be flexible.

There are always unexpected things that happen. Sometimes the ball will come your way and sometimes it won't. Sometimes you will need to throw it to first base and sometimes to home. Be willing to adapt. You won't succeed if you can't adapt to the changing circumstances.

6 - Listen to your coach

He knows what he is talking about.

7 - You can do hard things

Getting better at something is hard. Trying something new can be uncomfortable. But being nervous or unsure can't stop us from trying. Dig in. Work hard. The reward at the end is so great when you try something hard and do it!


If you happen to learn how to play baseball in the process, that's great too.

change

We are in full-blown teeth-losing mode over here. Ana lost two teeth in the last month. She tried to eat corn on the cob yesterday and found it very difficult without any front teeth. She also got quite impatient with the slacker tooth fairy who took so long to come. (A whole week for one of them!) Jack lost his first tooth this week too. He wiggled it a whole bunch while we were in Quebec because he really wanted to lose it in Canada. (I think he thought the tooth fairy would bring him Canadian money.) But alas, it feel out the day after we got home.  He really didn't want the tooth fairy to take his tooth though, so he asked nicely if he could keep it and she obliged. ;) 

I started packing today.  As I was carrying the boxes up from the basement I realized that this move is FOR REAL. I suddenly felt very sad and lonely. So I turned on some happy music. Part of my wants these next 3 weeks to go really slowly and part of me wants to just get them over with. Next up: our awesome trip to Quebec.

elementary school spirit week

Last week was "Spirit Week" at the kids' school. Basically each day was a different fun day. Ana was really in to it this year.

Day #1 was mismatch day. That was interesting. Mostly because I don't really care what my kids wear to school as long as it is clean and not raggity, so they kind of think that everything matches. Jack finally decided to wear bright red warmups with a nice striped sweater, but I am not quite sure he knew why they didn't match. He did get a big kick over the fact that he wore mismatched socks. It took a while to figure Ana's outfit out though because she kept asking "Are you sure?" when I told her that a bright red skirt didn't really match with a coral and purple shirt.

Day #2 was "favorite sports team." Ana insisted that I make her a Broncos t-shirt (she decided on her own that they are her favorite sports team).  I just so happened to have a bunch of plain white t-shirts to I traced the bronco onto the back. I am actually quite proud of the result.

Ana was a little disappointed to find out that not all of her classmates shares her love of the Broncos. In fact, when she got into the car after school she said, "Everyone said the Broncos stink." At which time I told her, "Welcome to fandom." But I didn't say it quite like that. I told her about how a lot of people like the Patriots around here and the Broncos beat the Patriots. I also said that Gramps likes the Cowboys and sometimes I tell him that they stink. She laughed at that and I told her it was just part of liking sports.  Also, that afternoon I chopped off her hair so I didn't have to deal anymore with crazy tangles like the one in that picture.

Day #3 was interesting. It was "crazy hair day."  Ana wanted really while hair, but after discovering that we have absolutely no hair products in our house, she decided to go with lots of braids. (And to wear her broncos shirt again. I guess she got over the trauma).

Jack on the other hand was super conflicted. First he wanted crazy hair, then he insisted that he was absolutely not going to school that day. Most of the morning was a struggle for him that included him breaking down into hysterics over crazy hair day. It seems that he didn't want to do it, but he also didn't want to be the only one without crazy hair and he just didn't know what to expect when he got to school. So I ended up walking him to class and showing him that most of the boys in the class didn't have crazy hair and then he felt better. That kid isn't the most flexible.

Day #4 was "favorite number day." Jack decided his favorite number was 23 (because that was Michael Jordan's number) and so once again I pulled out the stack of plain white t's and wrote a big 23 on it. I didn't take a picture but I loved what Jack did to it. He decided he needed to write different ways to describe the number 23. This included writing "twenty-three" along the bottom, writing "20+3 is 23" to the side of the big 23 and then drawing 23 dots, 23 tally marks and 23 squares on his shirt. I thought it was awesome.

The last day the kindergartners wore blue, and the 2nd graders wore red so that was easy.

It was actually fun, despite a few meltdowns and last minute throwing together of outfits. It was interesting to see what they wanted to do with each day. They are so different from each other and each day brings some new thing that they throw at me. And I guess they did go to school with a bit more "spirit."

soccer

I just have a minute here before I have to go pick up the kids from school but it occurred to me that I never mentioned Jack's soccer "season." I have to admit, most of the games I sat and laughed and laughed at the way the little kindergartners ran around and followed the ball in one big blog. Jack was always running after it with an intense look on his face, but he was never aggressive enough to actually get in there and kick it. It was still awesome to watch, though. What he really wanted was to be the one chosen to throw it in, but he wasn't loud enough to get the coaches attention. We finally told them he hadn't had a turn yet, so he got a turn. But he threw it back out of bounds. Dave and I just laughed. And Jack didn't care.

One time, things seemed to align and there he was, with the ball at his feet, right in front of the goal. And he kicked it in! It was awesome.

Right after his goal.

Getting ready to go.

I thought soccer was a lot of fun. I like being a soccer mom and can't wait to do it again.

one man's trash....

It started when he was about 2 or 3. Somehow, no matter where we were, Jack had a stick in his hand. He found big sticks, little sticks, straight sticks and curvy sticks.  He brought them home and put them in a pile in my front entry (which really is used more for collecting outside playthings). His stick collection grew and grew until finally it was so big I could hardly open the front door. About a year ago I discretely moved it outside in our flower bed (read: weed and root bed). By then he had moved on to collecting rocks and leaves. I always thought I would take a picture of that stick collection, but I never did and the maintenance men came and hauled it all away. (I guess it was unsightly or something.)

Jack was devastated when he found out. It didn't stifle is affinity with collecting things, though. He has just moved on to something else: trash.

He calls it treasure though. He finds bottle caps, old cups, broken pieces of string, various shapes and sizes of lids, and containers. Oh, how he loves containers of stuff. Inevitable all this trash ends up in my house, taped together in some sort of creative conglomerate, or put into an organizer (which also is garbage).  One afternoon this summer, he took a mini muffin container and in each compartment he had a treasure: a broken marble, a pine cone, a little yellow flower, a piece of string, a penny.  He carried his treasure box around for days. Lately he taped trash onto a box and called it a robot: broken hangers and beaded necklaces dangled from it, tiny lids were its eyes and a scrap of paper his mouth.  The other day he found an old plastic cup on which he taped various things, including a dried up glue stick, and called it a rocket ship. They are now all sitting at the kid's craft table:

I often want to tell him that it is trash, to get rid of it, and to throw it away. Every once in a which I check myself.  This is my sweet little boy who is finding joy in something simple. Perhaps, instead of correcting him, I need to take a lesson from him. To create things from insignificant pieces of the world around me. To not let others determine what I find valuable. To see little things as treasures. To find and store up little things and to love them.

back to school

Despite my dragging my heels in the sand, the school year has come.  Yesterday was the first official day of school, but Jack's day was only an hour. So today was my first day with my kiddos off and me and Katie (and Zach) hanging around.


Ana is in 2nd grade. I can't believe it. She had a good first and second day and she loves her teacher this year. She doesn't tell me much about school and never really has. It comes out in little snippets. But I did hear her say that school has been really good so far.

And here is our little Kindergartener. Jack is especially excited to have his good friend from Church in his class.  (And we are too.) Jack loved his first full day.  I am excited for all this little guy is going to learn this year, but I will miss him. He's been my little buddy and it is strange not to have him around.

Monday night we had our traditional back to school fashion show along with a special family home evening. My kids really look forward to this FHE. After the fashion show and a lesson,  Dave gave the kids blessings.  Even Katie wanted one too and it was so cute to peek at her sitting so reverently in the chair.  It is such a special thing for our family. We can really feel the Spirit in our home.

And just for good measure, here is the little girl who gets to stay home with me.  I may just spoil her rotten.

 

photo credit: Ana

party time

I am not usually a party planner. I like to attend parties, but I don't love the planning and executing of them. But this one was actually fun to put together. It helped that Jack only wanted to invite his 3 closest friends. He had a great time, and was perfectly satisfied with his Space party.

five

My little boy is 5.

I can't believe it, yet he's been 5 in my head for a long time.

Admittedly, 4 has been a rough age for us. He started to exert his will and defiance, surely to test ME as a parent. Sometimes I feel I am not passing that test. He goes a little nuts if he doesn't have a specific, defined activity and starts picking on/climbing on anyone and anything in this path. Especially his big sister. I keep telling her that little brothers like to be obnoxious and that she needs to learn to deal with it. (That doesn't really help.)

But most of the time, he is a wonderful little boy. He and his Dad are of the same mold. He looks and acts just the same! The other day Dave took him out to play catch and I was struck at how much he has grown. He loves to do anything with Dave - play catch, work on a project, run errands - you name it, he'll do it with Daddy. Unless it is time for bed, then he wants Mom to read him a story and scratch his back.

He loves legos, but doesn't typically build creatively. He would much rather follow a pattern.  Also, Jack is a reader! We are currently working through the BOB books and he is doing great. He is a hard working little boy and is easily motivated by a quarter or a treat. He planted his garden a few weeks ago and tends to it very well, picking weeds and watering diligently.

He still loves Space. He acquired a Space Shuttle Operator's manual from a friend of Dave's and he often will choose to read two pages for his bedtime story. Lately we've been reading the section on how to use the bathroom in microgravity. (Having no gravity provides an interesting dilemma if you think about it.) He told me later that he doesn't want to go into space anymore because he doesn't want to have to go the bathroom in space.  Incidentally he also ruled out police man from his Possible Future Careers list because "it would be too hard. I don't know where any bad guys are." Right now at the top of the list is "surgery doctor."

We gave Jack a bicycle helmet for his birthday and last night as he was riding his (formally Ana's) bike (now that it has training wheels back on) he said to Dave, "I could do this all day." I have a feeling he is going to be one happy boy this summer on his back.

Happy Birthday Jackers.

big test part 2

Tonight I (Dave - I know, I don't ever post here anymore) was lying down by Jack at bed time. He gave me a good little pep talk. You see, tomorrow I take step 2 of the USMLE for med school. There was one previous post last year when I took step 1.

 So, I told Jack I was feeling a little nervous and worried about my test tomorrow. Here is some of what he said:

"Dad, tests are nothing to be worried about. Tests don't hurt you or anything. Tests don't bite you. Tests, you just have to work hard. And big tests you have to work hard for all day or something."

"Remember, I was worried about preschool but it was fun!"

 "Now do you not feel worried?"

 What a good boy! I'm not quite as worried as I had been.

joe and marie get a christmas tree

Since we couldn't be there for Grandma's Christmas Party, we decided to make a video to share with the family. The concept was the kids' idea, Dave filmed and helped elaborate.

My kids are awesome.

jammie jam

Nothin' like a morning dance party to get the day rolling.

I love that Jack thinks that Garth Brooks is "cool music" by the way.

Happy Wednesday!

my four year old

When we moved here 2 years ago, Ana was 4. Preschool really wasn't even on my radar. I wanted Ana home, and I am so glad I did that, even though occasionally she tells me she feels "left out" because she didn't ever go to preschool.

Jack is a different kid, though. He still gets a little anxious upon separation. And at weird times, too. Like when I drop him off at primary one random week. I knew that full-day kindergarten would be a huge adjustment for him, so we felt like he needed some preschool time. And luckily for us, he got into the preschool at Ana's school, so it works out nicely. For a while he was nervous about it, but over the summer he got more and more excited for his first day.

The day I left for Utah I dropped him off for his first day of Preschool. He goes 3 days a week for a few hours in the afternoon. It is working out well, and he loves it.




He acted like he knew what he was doing right away, and he still is very excited for preschool days.

A couple weeks ago for church, Ana begged me to let Jack wear this suit of Dave's. It is still a little big, but it made me realize how big my little boy is getting.




I do have to say, Jack is definitely 4. He is starting to be a little defiant, and gets pretty upset when he doesn't get his way. Another reason why preschool will be good for him.

Though I send him to preschool because it is what is right for him, I am enjoying my quiet time while the kids are at school and Katie is napping. It is just what I need to feel like I am on top of things. Or at least not quiet so far behind.

because i know the grandmas miss these kids

I uploaded a bunch of videos yesterday. We'll ignore the fact that I got totally sad because I realized that my kids won't stay little forever and that they are growing up right before my eyes. My kids rock people, and I love these kids more than anything and I am so glad I am their mother.


For your viewing pleasure...

on a sunday afternoon:




Jack's primary talk:




Katie going down the slide:

happy happy birthday jacky boy

My sweet little boy is 4! He's been 4 in my mind for a while, so it isn't that surprising, though I loved his little 3 year old self so much, I'm a little sad to see it go.

He got to have a few friends over for cake and ice cream yesterday.









4 things I love about this little boy:

1. He loves to make paper crafts. For a while it was coloring and cutting out pictures and then taping them to the window. Then it was making valentines. Lately he's into making paper snowflakes and writing letters to grandparents.

2. He is super into being a boy. He likes to play with "boy" toys and play with boys and do boy things with dad. Sometimes I will suggest things and he'll respond, "no, that's too girlish." Yet he still wants me to paint his toenails (blue!) and he loves flowers.

3. He often picks me flowers and draws me pictures and is frequently found to say out of the blue, "I love you, Mom."

4. He is very grateful. He says "thank you" after a good meal and this morning he said, "thanks for the new soccer ball, mom. I love it!"

He is such a sweet little guy. I am wrapped around his finger.

here

Here is my baby:


Here is my baby crawling on our sidewalk while my boy roller skates:



Here is my boy being silly:


Here is my older girl striking a pose:


Here are all my children playing outside on a glorious north-east evening:





Here is happiness.