good mommy/bad mommy

Monday was one of those days I wish I could erase from my motherhood repertoire.

I didn't sleep well the night before and when the time came, I just wasn't ready to be mommy. I was grumpy.

Jake woke up screaming and didn't let me out of his sight all day.

Ana was naughty. Her disobedience is pretty typical; I just was in no mood to deal with it.

This didn't help:


I swear I only left them alone in the kitchen for a few minutes while they "ate their snack." Surprisingly, I didn't yell. I accepted my fate and gave them each two baths. The juice incident that happened later, I wasn't quite so calm.

Yesterday I was determined to have a better day.

(Ana was still pretty naughty.)

She had dance pictures in the afternoon, so she got all dolled up.

Afterward we ran into a craft store to get something. A lady gave Ana a quarter to buy a gumball. "Anything for a beautiful little girl," she said. Then she said to me, "They grow up so fast. Don't sweat the small stuff." It was just what I needed to hear.

I'm going to Women's Conference tonight. I am excited. Thrilled actually.

I know I'll be a better mommy when I get back.

weekend update (boise --> balanced rock)

We spent the weekend in Boise at my sister's so Dave could work on the canoe he is building.

I got to see my old college roommate before we each head in different directions to med school.

I went to the Boise Philharmonic Symphony with my sis.

I listened to a bunch of teenagers make (very hilarious) prank calls at 11:30 pm.

Jack went to bed really well there this time, as opposed to last time when he would just scream and keep everyone awake.

We flied kites and played badminton in the back yard a lot.

I love hanging out with my sister and her family! Here are a few pictures...

(Jack and his cousin are only 4 months apart.)

On the way home we went to Balanced Rock. It is beautiful over there, if you like farm land, which I do. Then all of a sudden, the land sinks down and there are all these beautiful cliffs and rocks. We were half expecting there to be some sort of fee or park area, but there was just a sign. It is really big, and you can hike all the way up to it. Jack was nervous being carried up the hill, so I didn't go all the way up. Ana is never nervous about anything, so she went to the top with Dave. A little ways down the road there are some big cliffs and a a stream and picnic area.

(can you see Dave and Ana. The rock is huge!)

It was pretty impressive. If you are every driving around Twin, take the extra time to go see it. The kids went crazy in the car the last hour. I have a feeling that driving for 5 days straight this summer might not be pretty....

april showers

It was rainy today. But it was a perfect rainy day. Everything is green. It was warm. The grass was freshly mowed. I love that.

While Jack was napping Ana and I went out so splash in the puddles. It was raining so she didn't last long but we came inside and drank hot chocolate and took silly face pictures.
The rain stopped this afternoon and after a trip to the store the kids decided to jump in puddles again.



We also played hide and seek and swept, mopped and/or vacuumed the entire house.

We're having homemade chicken noodle soup and sweet potato biscuits for dinner. mmmm...

It's a good day.

the hat

I love seeing my kids' personalities emerge. When likes, dislikes, moods, temperament, style start to show themselves I find myself just watching them - trying to figure them out like a puzzle.

We were in Old Navy yesterday and Ana spotted this hat. I never would have bought this hat just by seeing it on a rack, but Ana loved it on the spot. She put it on and it looked so adorable that we had to get it for her. (She calls it a cowboy hat.) It fits her little personality. She is spunky and spirited and careless and intense all rolled up in one wispy little thing. And somehow this hat goes with it.





Her Spirit is just too big for her body.

blogging

For the most part, I love blogging. Its like my scrapbook and my journal and my way to keep in touch all rolled up in one.

But there are some weird things about blogger-space.

Like when I followed my "cousin's" blog for weeks before I realized it wasn't actually my cousin but a friend of a different cousin and that not only do I have no relation them, but I have never met them in person. That was weird.

And like the time I commented on someone else's blog about a comment they left on my blog only to realize I got two people confused. That's like junior high awkwardness via the internet. (I'm blushing just thinking about it.)

Also now matter how hard I try I can't help but check the blog of this girl I knew once. She didn't really like me, and it always bugged me that she didn't like me, but I just keep checking up for no good reason. Usually I go away feeling inadequate.

And then there are those blogs that I follow because they are so inspiring and insightful, and I feel like I know them so well, but they don't know me at all.

Anyway, its just weird sometimes.

Also, saying "blog" so much in a post is weird.

happy week-after-easter-sunday

Today during the rest hymn in Church, Ana was singing along. She didn't know the words, so she made up her own. "Jesus is adorable."

I just let her sing.


Oh, and I made that tie. It was almost a shame to cover it up with the vest. (almost).

slow down

My job is important.

I was reminded of that last weekend when several talks during general conference mentioned parenthood. I was also reminded of it when I read this in the Book of Mormon just the other day:

Mosiah 4: 26
And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.

I realized I do that every day.

And it seems mundane and tedious most days. Especially when "noisy children are clamoring for attention." (see Julie B Beck's talk)

So, I decided to slow down. And I have noticed some things. The other night Ana and I were playing together and I noticed that she runs everywhere. There is so much life and energy bursting out of her. And yesterday I noticed that Jack says "Hey, Mama" a thousand times a day, just to hear me say, "what, Jack." And I noticed that he gave Ana a big hug when she was in time out and said, "I love you, Ana." And I noticed that Ana makes up nonsense words all the time, but that she always follows it with "that means ____".

On the way to dance I turned off the radio and just talked to Ana. She said she wants to live on a farm with pigs (just pigs) and that she wants to name one "Kris" and she wants to ride them. Then she also said she wants cats and asked why her cousin's cat died. And I noticed that she's really curious about death.

There are a thousand things to notice. A thousand reasons to find joy. A thousand reasons to not envy those with great jobs or who travel the world. A thousand reasons to take advantage of these "protected years" when "Satan's use of the mists of darkness ... is blocked." (see Henry B Eyring's talk)

My job is important. And that is humbling. I hope I'm up to the task.

easter weekend

Saturday morning was windy and snowy. I was up early getting ready for a 5k in Twin (about 40 minutes away.) After a series of texts with my running friend Alisha, we decided to go ahead and do it anyway, but that I would drive instead because "my car is good in the snow." That part is true. But we still got stuck. In Alisha’s driveway. In what I thought was Alisha's driveway but actually was the field next to her house. (In my defense, both the driveway and the field looked like dirt covered in snow. How was I to know?)

Luckily we were in good moods and so we laughed the whole time her husband pushed us out of the field. (I'm not sure he thought it was as funny.) And we laughed all the way to Twin. And any time we thought about it all weekend. Dave laughed, too, but I think that was more at me than with me.

After a great run (in the wind and cold), we went to Target, Costco and a couple other stores and went out to lunch. And we didn't have to say "don't touch that" or "stay by mommy" or "sit down" even once.

We got home in time to watch the 2nd session of general conference. I love general conference. I look forward to it every year and it felt so weird to miss a session, so I listened to part of it this morning. I feel rejuvenated to be a better mother. Julie Beck's talk was amazing. One of my favorite quotes: "The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation, is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life." Awesome!

The kids enjoyed Easter morning candy and surprises. Nothing big, just a few quiet activities for conference and some candy. I'm excited for their new Sunday clothes.

We had an incredible dinner and awesome dessert, so overall it was a very satisfying weekend. And now its back to real life. But that is good too.

Can/Should this ever be done??

So, we are thinking about selling my Mazda pickup before moving to Vermont. That doesn't leave many options for transporting the canoe I am building. As far as moving there I think we can get it in the moving truck but for actual camping and using it once we get there...


Don't be afraid to click on the picture and see the bigger version. Also, I love Microsoft Paint.