why my new year's resolution is not to lose weight

I have been feeling super ... blah... and grumpy. I always get this way in the winter. I know one of the reasons is because I get pretty sedentary. I am so so much happier when I am active. But I live in a climate where "warm" in January is 20 degrees, and so I don't go outside much.  And my waistline is showing it.

So, like many Americans I decided to set a goal of health. I want to feel good. I want my body to be strong and my mind to be clear. I want to eat more fruits and veggies and fewer treats.

But I am not trying to lose weight. Weight is an easy way to measure progress, but it is also flawed. People get discouraged when the scale doesn't reflect what they want it to, even if their new habits make them feel physically better.

I have never watched the Biggest Loser. I can appreciate the idea of helping people create new habits and changing their lives for the better, but I have never watched it. However, I was intrigued last week with the outcry over the winner. She weighed in at 105 lbs. So many people said she took it too far. All I could think was: What do you expect? You give a big reward to whoever loses the most weight, as if weight equaled worth, and then get upset when people take it too far. I know women, skinny women and not-so-skinny, who obsess over what the scale says or what size pants they wear. They talk about it to their friends. They talk about it in front of their daughters and your daughters. This has to stop. Stop talking about changing your body's shape.

I do not talk about my weight or my physical insecurities in front of my children. Ever. If they see me exercise, I tell them it is because exercise keeps my body strong and healthy and makes me feel good. If they see me eating fruits and veggies (and encouraging them to do so too), I don't tell them I am trying to lose weight or because treats make you fat. I tell them I eat it (and they should too) because it is good for them. It gives their body nutrients and energy. (Often when Jack is having a hard time eating his fruits and veggies, all I have to do is tell him what the nutrients in the food will do for him, and he is much happier to eat them.)

Please, let's stop the discussion about weight. Instead of telling people how much weight you have lost, let's talk about how good we feel and how much more energy we have. Let's talk about how much longer we can walk or run and how we don't get out of breath so easily.

Happiness is not found on a bathroom scale. Worth isn't found in a size 4 pair of jeans. My body is amazing. I want to take good care of it.

5 things I learned by going without sugar for 5 days

A few days before Easter, after days of binging on Starburst Jellybeans, I started to feel very ... blah... I was dissatisfied with my body and uncomfortable in my skin. So I did something I swore I would never do. I decided to go off of sugar and refined carbs. My sister Karianne does it every so often and usually sheds a few pounds in the process, so I called her for emotional support almost daily. Mostly I just cut out refined flour and sugar, but I wasn't entirely strict about it. I ate potatoes at dinner and sprinkled craisins on my salad, and I even allowed myself a small piece of banana cream pie. I did it for 5 days. Even though it wasn't very long, I was surprised at what I learned during the process. 

1.) First of all, I learned that I can do it! I can actually stop eating so much junk food if I want to. Yay for me! It is amazing what we can accomplish when we set our minds to it.

2.) Second, I learned how often I eat out of boredom, or just as a distraction from other duties. I walk into the kitchen and end up eating crackers or chips or jellybeans or whatever else handy. When I made up my mind not to do it, I realized just how much I mindlessly eat. This reminds me of my goal for the year to live purposefully. What else do I do mindlessly and without purpose?

3.) Self-control begets self-control.  Becoming more aware of myself and my actions not only stopped me from eating junk food, it stopped me from doing lots of mindless things - like randomly checking facebook in the middle of the day, or yelling at my kids without thinking, or putting off the dishes for other meaningless tasks. By consciously controlling one aspect of my life, I was able to subconsciously control many other aspects more effectively. I feel like this concept could be studied more deeply and applied to many aspects of my life. It will be an interesting experiment.

4.) Cutting stuff out is hard! You have to replace it. Eating nuts, cheese and fresh fruit often curbed hunger when I found the munchies hitting.  Once again, this has such an interesting parallel in other areas of my life. Those negative thought patterns I've been trying to change? I can't just magically cut it out; I have to replace it with uplifting music, good conversation with friends, poetry and scriptures.

5.) The most important thing I learned is that I feel so much better when I am taking care of my body. I had more energy and felt happier as a person.

Saturday I spent the day eating junk food with the kids while watching General Conference. Even though I had a Spiritual Feast, I felt like my body was teaching me an important lesson. Our physical selves are so connected with our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves and there is great value in taking good care of these bodies that God has given to us.

whats for dinner?

The other day we ventured into a thrift store here in town looking for a specific book. We not only came away with that book, but a quick and easy betty crocker cookbook in really good shape, 5 books for the kids and a skirt for Ana - for under $5.

Tonight I tried a recipe out of the cookbook and it was a hit. I rarely follow recipes exactly, and I was pleased with my adjustments. In case anyone is interested, here's the recipe, with my subs in parentheses.

2 cups uncooked corkscrew pasta (bowties)

while pasta is cooking, cook:
1 package sliced mushrooms (i used frozen whole green beans instead and it was yummy!)
6 medium green onions, chopped (i just sprinkled in some dried onion flakes)
1 medium red bell pepper, chopped
1 clove garlic, finely chopped (1/8 t. garlic powder)
in 1 T oil until veggies are tender (2-3 minutes)

stir in:
3 oz. sliced proscuitto ham or fully cooked (deli) ham, cut into fine strips
1 T fresh chopped fresh basil or 1/2 t. dried basil
2 t chopped fresh or 1/4 t. dried oregano
1/4 t. salt
1/4 cup shredded Asiago cheese. (I used italian blend shredded cheese and I used more because I really like cheese.)

stir in pasta and 1 more T oil and toss.

Yum!

five-k

I ran a 5k (about 3 miles) today. Our stake did a fun run because our stake president challenged to youth to beat him in a 10k for a cash reward. So there was a 5k run or walk, and a 10k run. I've been running the last few weeks but I had only worked up to about 2 miles, so I wasn't sure if I could run the whole way. But I did it. Hooray! I averaged a 12 minute mile (so slow!) but I was happy to have finished.

Help!

I CAN'T STOP EATING!!!! Seriously. I am not losing any weight and all I want to do is eat. I don't have energy for anything, even though I'm getting enough sleep. We're moving into our apartment this week and seriously, I think I'm going to start doing a menu and plan out my snacks because its getting ridiculous. I feel so not skinny.

its crunch(es) time

After I had Ana, I bounced right back to my pre-pregnancy weight by 6 weeks. It was only about 5 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy weight with Jack, yet here it is 2 1/2 months later and I'm still weigh almost 15 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant. Dang, I guess I'll have to work at it this time.

So, I started swapping kids with a friend, Kenna, here in town. She has a 4 year old and a 2 year old, and I take my kids to her house and go run, and then stay with her kids while she goes out. We did that Monday morning. Wednesday morning Dave was home, so I just went out on my bike. Then this morning both are husbands were home so we went to the local pool to swim laps. I'm pretty excited for this new exercise regimen. It feels good to be out doing it again. But, boy am I out of shape. I also have my new wii fit, which I want to work on the other days of the week, as well as start doing sit ups so I can get rid of some of this flab. I really love exercise, so thats the easy part. I'm glad to just have someone to watch the kids while I do it.

Call me a nerd, but I am way excited about this. Dave's family does a newsletter called "TLC [The Larsen Clan] News" published about every month. As I was chatting with his sister that heads the newsletter, we wanted to find a way to get in shape "together." Some other family members expressed interest, so we started the TLC Fitness Challenge. I've sort of taken charge, since it was my idea and because I'm into things like this. What we're doing is keeping track of our exercise minutes, and if we reach 100 hours combined by our family Christmas party, I'm going to bring a surprise for everyone who participates, plus prizes for the ones who do the most. Its really exciting to me. I'm kinda a health "advocate." (I don't use "nut" because I'm not quite as healthy I want to be.) I designed our logo, (Though I'm sure many of you could have done better; I'm still proud of it.) and I'm pretty sure we're going to make t-shirts with it on for the winners. (And one for me just because.)