what we do when the weather is good

I. love. summer.   Have I mentioned that before? ;) Summer in Vermont is amazing. Humid, but amazing.

I simply cannot stay inside when there is fun stuff to do outside. Stuff like:

*Family bike rides to the beach. Burlington has a really great bike path down by the lake. We drove to the bike path, rode the path (Jack and Katie in the trailer, Ana on her own bike) for about 3 miles to the a beach, ate a snack and rode back the way we came. Perfect!

*Beach days! We've had 3 so far. Two of them got rained out, but this time Ana caught a butterfly.

*A strawberry festival. We let Ana ride the ponies and she was in Heaven! We also had some fresh strawberry milkshakes and Ana entered a strawberry shortcake eating contest. She didn't win, but she finished it all.

You would think will all this outside time, my house would be spotless, but we are inside just long enough to make a mess, and not long enough to get it cleaned up.

Today we spent the morning outside playing in the kiddie pool. Just after we came inside (because I had neglected my housework long enough), dark clouds rolled in and it started pouring! There was a crash of thunder so loud it shook the house. Crazy weather! (You would think it would cool things off, but it just makes it muggy. )

Life is good.

a revelation, in parts

"In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." 

(John 16:33)

1. A few days ago, what seemed to be an average day, turned sour. Nothing particular happened. A few unplanned errands popped up, but mostly it was just a typical day. Most typically, right around dinner, the children started acting up. (I know why they call those late afternoon hours "the witching hours.") The clutter from the housework I never got to began to cave in on me. Suddenly I found myself in the most sour mood. At the earliest possible hour, I got the kids into bed and I sat on the couch sulking. Somewhere during the course of the evening and the next morning - I can't quite identify how or when it came - it occurred to me that I was allowing the choices of others to dictate my mood and emotions.

I needed to stop it. My children will most likely always make choices that are different from what I want them to do. Am I going to let that cast a gloom on my life? No! I have always been a happy person, and I will continue to be a happy person.

The next day, I put it to the test. I decided to act happily, even if I didn't feel like it. The most amazing thing happened: my children were much better behaved. Perhaps, of all the things society thinks children need or don't need, all the lists and books on parenting and discipline and what "good parents" do,  my children just need a happy mommy.



2. My mind has felt cluttered and foggy. The clouds that bring so much beauty and greenery to this beautiful state happen usually seem to settle on my soul as well. At times it seems the clouds will never lift.  A few times this week the sun has shone itself and my spirit reaches for the sunlight and pulls me outside. I work in the garden and push Katie on the swing and connect with friends and neighbors and finally the clouds and fog begin to dissipate and I can breathe. During these times I have asked myself, "Why is it so hard to find joy each day?" The answer has been blossoming before me for a few days, and yesterday it was given a name and I saw it in all its glory.  The combination of endless to-do lists (there is always something I could be doing)  and the call of the social media have been choking out those things that bring richness to my life. "Peak experiences," I heard them called, are experiences that add joy into our lives. They are moments of real, true connection. With others. With God. With ourselves. Peak experiences make me happy. Lately they have been few and far between.



3. Last night, I was putting sheets on the children's beds before tucking them in. I heard laughing from the other room and Dave called me to come in. Usually I would finish my task, then go stand at the bedroom door and smile for a brief minute, then continue putting the kids to bed.  This time, I was drawn to it.  I climbed into the bed with Dave and Ana and Katie and we laughed at the silly things Katie was doing. (She always knows how to bring joy into this house.) Soon a pajama'ed Jack joined us and we all laughed and snuggled and tickled. At one point, Ana turned to me and said, "Mom, you are actually laughing!" That's when I knew for sure.

The revelation came in parts:

I need to seek out daily, joyful experiences that make me happy, because what my children need most is a happy mommy.

today summer is here.

*Today was the last day of school. Finally! I have big plans for our summer. We are setting goals and making a list of fun stuff to do. It is going to be great!

*Today I walked to the park with the younger kids. On the way home from Ana school this morning, my body and soul told me to be outside. Jack would only go if he had his friend Tanner to come along, and they both are new to training wheels so they were happy to ride along with me.

*My garden is finally growing. The kids' have been growing for a while but I planted later and then it cooled off and rained for months (or so it seemed). So today when the sun came out I could almost see the tiny little buds growing.

Summer is good for me.

party time

I am not usually a party planner. I like to attend parties, but I don't love the planning and executing of them. But this one was actually fun to put together. It helped that Jack only wanted to invite his 3 closest friends. He had a great time, and was perfectly satisfied with his Space party.

five

My little boy is 5.

I can't believe it, yet he's been 5 in my head for a long time.

Admittedly, 4 has been a rough age for us. He started to exert his will and defiance, surely to test ME as a parent. Sometimes I feel I am not passing that test. He goes a little nuts if he doesn't have a specific, defined activity and starts picking on/climbing on anyone and anything in this path. Especially his big sister. I keep telling her that little brothers like to be obnoxious and that she needs to learn to deal with it. (That doesn't really help.)

But most of the time, he is a wonderful little boy. He and his Dad are of the same mold. He looks and acts just the same! The other day Dave took him out to play catch and I was struck at how much he has grown. He loves to do anything with Dave - play catch, work on a project, run errands - you name it, he'll do it with Daddy. Unless it is time for bed, then he wants Mom to read him a story and scratch his back.

He loves legos, but doesn't typically build creatively. He would much rather follow a pattern.  Also, Jack is a reader! We are currently working through the BOB books and he is doing great. He is a hard working little boy and is easily motivated by a quarter or a treat. He planted his garden a few weeks ago and tends to it very well, picking weeds and watering diligently.

He still loves Space. He acquired a Space Shuttle Operator's manual from a friend of Dave's and he often will choose to read two pages for his bedtime story. Lately we've been reading the section on how to use the bathroom in microgravity. (Having no gravity provides an interesting dilemma if you think about it.) He told me later that he doesn't want to go into space anymore because he doesn't want to have to go the bathroom in space.  Incidentally he also ruled out police man from his Possible Future Careers list because "it would be too hard. I don't know where any bad guys are." Right now at the top of the list is "surgery doctor."

We gave Jack a bicycle helmet for his birthday and last night as he was riding his (formally Ana's) bike (now that it has training wheels back on) he said to Dave, "I could do this all day." I have a feeling he is going to be one happy boy this summer on his back.

Happy Birthday Jackers.

use your words (and other stuff)

We often tell our kids "Use your words." Instead of whining, instead of hitting, instead of screaming. "Use words." I need to remind myself of that as well sometimes. Words save me. When I need to escape, I read. When I need to connect, I talk and listen. When I need to clear my head, I write. I write lists and I write in my journal and I write here.

The last few weeks have been a crazy emotional roller coaster and I read and I talked and I listened, but when I tried to write, I couldn't. The words wouldn't come. So I talked and listened and read some more. But I couldn't write.

This morning I woke up and decided that today I would write. I would force it to come. So, here I am writing. Let me write about the last 3 weeks.

1.) The kids and I got home from our fun trip. I was so glad to see so many great friends and it was good to be back in the groove. My wonderful friend (little Zach's mom) even had my house cleaned spotless for me when I returned which was such a blessing. I have great friends. Dave stayed behind in Utah for an extra two weeks while he finished his rotation, so I was on my own for a little while.

2.) A few days after returning home, some of our best friends moved. They were here when we got here and we (and our kids) grew to be such good friends. It was a sad day. I already miss them a ton.

3.) I managed to do 2 weeks in a row of sitting alone with my kids in church and didn't die. I even thought, "That wasn't too bad."

4.) We got water in our basement (see previous post). That was crazy for a minute. These pictures are from that day. The kids went out and played in the puddles before dinner.  The downpour happened after dinner. The last picture is right before I discovered water gushing into the basement.

5.) Our traditional Memorial Day BBQ was a hit. Somehow I returned home with more food than I took.

6.) Dave got home! And he had a few days off before returning to the hospital today, so that was awesome to have him home.

7.) Another family that we love moved. They were awesome and Vermont will not be the same without them.

8.) Saturday we went to a parade and a Super fun birthday party for our friend's daughter.  The kids came home with awesome Superman capes and they spent the rest of the evening running around in them. Katie wanted one too so we pulled out Dave's old one and she ran around saying "Superman!" On Sunday afternoon the kids put them on again with nothing else but their undies and ran around saying "I am Super Underpants Man!" Nothing like a cape to make a kid happy.

9.) Yesterday Dave was called to be a counselor to our Bishop. Crazy! It will make things a little bit more busy, especially on Sundays, but he is awesome and I know he'll be great.


So, there you have it. A glance at my roller coaster. I keep thinking things will settle down, but life doesn't really ever settle down does it?  I think as long as I keep using my words, I might be able to handle it.