perfect summer

I wish I could capture this summer and put it in a mason jar like a firefly. Then in March when the world is gloomy I could pull it out and breathe in the sunshine and carefree-ness and I know I would feel lighter.

If there was one thing that could make this summer more perfect, it would be if my kids could remember it. Ana might retain a few fleeting memories, and Jack might have a vague recollection, but mostly it will remained unremembered.

And before I forget, I need to write it down.

Our July 2012 adventures:

1. Ana's lemonade stand. She decided after visiting the American Girl store in NYC that she wanted to earn money to buy one. She didn't know we were already planning on getting her one for her birthday, but we encouraged the idea. Dave helped a bit, but mostly she did the work. And she was so proud of herself and it was awesome.


2. Blueberry picking! This was Dave's first berry picking experience. Katie loved eating them, though it was tricky to keep her from eating them out of the dirt. The blueberries were plump and the setting was perfectly picturesque.




3. We've spent a lot of time outside. Katie is my dirt baby, and is often found putting sticks, rocks and dirt in her mouth. But she loves to slide. (More on her coming Friday, when she turns 1.) We've also frequent the beach, the pool and the sprinklers outside.




4. Of course we had to go to the farm. We love it there!


5. On a different note, we've had some crazy storms. One of which flooded our basement (about an inch of water) and tore up a bunch of trees in our neighborhood. We went on a walk just to check out the damage. Crazy!


6. Not pictured: watching the Olympics. Really it makes any summer better. I love the Olympics.

I will miss this place.

...before i sleep

Jack, Ana, and Ethan (Ana's fiancee)

Wow, time is flying by. I suppose I haven't been writing as much the last little while. Life is busy with 3 little kids at home, plus 1 extra a few days a week. I feel like we have been living in our swimsuits this month. The kids have had swim lessons and we've spent lots of time at the beach, the pool and playing in the sprinklers in the yard. I love it! But I keep forgetting to pull out the camera.

My thoughts are heavy the last few months, and I mostly keep it to myself. My eyes have been opened to the hurt and hardships of so many that I love, and I am reminded of a quote from The Lord of the Rings (the book): "The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands Love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater."

In an effort to lighten my thoughts, I've been reading more poetry. Currently I have "Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening" hanging above my sink to memorize while I wash dishes. I find it rather metaphorical for life right now. Whenever I have a busy day and my seemingly endless to-do list comes swirling through my mind, the last line pops into my head "... and miles to go before I sleep." I try to stop each day for a minute, "to watch [the] woods fill up with snow." Whether that be in quiet, solitary time for myself, or pausing to find joy and beauty and peace in my life and children.


Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

six

I can't believe this little girl is six!

We celebrated her birthday pretty simply. She did a summer camp last week so we had that in the morning. Then Mac n Cheese for lunch. Then we went swimming with some of her friends. Then ended the day with strawberry shortcake. She was thrilled to get the American Girl doll, Kit. She seemed like a pretty happy birthday girl.




Time has flown so fast and I she has grown up so much in the last year. She is still as determined and passionate as ever, but her personality is really in full swing and it is great to see. She loves all things girly: pink (though yellow and white are also favorite colors), rainbows, unicorns, ballerinas, the works! She is definitely her own self and not afraid to be exactly who she is. She liked soccer, but she loves swimming even more and would spend all day at the pool if we could. She also loves to dance (still).

She is naturally a healthy eater. She doesn't like too much meat or sweets, and loves fruits and veggies and granola and yogurt and cheese. She picked strawberry shortcake for her birthday cake, for heaven's sake.

When she was 3, she loved to wear the same color on top and bottom. She would wake up and say, "I want to wear green, green" or "white, white." I kinda thought she would grow out of this, but even still, her favorite dress in a plain white one that Dave found at Costco a few weeks back. She wears it almost every week to church. And she loves Katie to match her.

One thing I love about her is that she is full of big ideas. She wants to plan parties and activities and design things. Quite a contrast to my "keep it simple" mentality. But her creativity means she can solve problems and work things out with her brother. And if something is her idea, she sticks to it and nothing can deter her.


I love my little big girl and can't wait to see how much more she grows up the next year.

lowering expectations

This is Zach. And Katie. And the ever present pile of laundry on my love seat.

Zach is 5 months younger than Katie. I started watching him a few months ago when his mom went back to work.

Let me back up.

For the last several years, I have been saying that I would like to find someone to babysit to make a little extra cash. Dave has always been a little unsure. He didn't want just anyone coming in and messing with our family dynamics. But I still have mentioned it and we've discussed the possibility off and on.

Several months back, Zach's dad, who is Dave's classmate, mentioned that he and his pregnant-with-their-first wife were looking into day cares for when she went back to work. It was tricking though, because she works irregular hours and with rotations starting, they would need someone that could potentially watch him very early in the morning.

Dave said, "Hey, Erin could do it."

And short story long, here we are. I watch him 3 days a week until about 1:30.

The first few days were a little interesting. I realized that with two babies in the house, I wasn't getting much done and it was a little frustrating.

So I lowered my expectations. Instead of getting frustrated with not being able to do anything. I just planned on it. I changed my mentality: "This is my job, and it's okay if I don't wash dishes while I am working."

Now that we are in the routine of things, it is working out quite well. I am often pleasantly surprised at how much I do get done, as opposed to being frustrated, and I have become really good friends with Zach's family. The kids do great with him around, even Katie.

It seems paradoxical that lowering expectations brings so much peace of mind. But I think as mothers we set the standard unrealistically high for ourselves. We expect our houses to be clean, our children to be perfectly behaved and dressed, our house to be full of Pinterest projects and gourmet meals. Plus we need to have a creative side job and our kids need to know how to read by 3. That is exhausting just thinking about it!

So, I will tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to feed my children every day. I will read and sing to them each night. And we'll spend some time outside everyday, because I need that for my sanity. After that, I'll probably wash dishes and laundry, though I make no guarantees about getting it put away in a timely manner.

If I can do those things, I think I'll be meeting expectations. Anything else is a bonus.

attached

(photo taken by our good friends the Moreys)

Katie is not a good sleeper. Her naps have always been irregular, and she still wakes up once or twice most nights. I can only get her to sleep by nursing her. How I got myself into this predicament, I'm not sure. It all happened so quickly. Other people can rock her or hold her and she'll drift off, but not Mama. She knows what she wants. I'll probably be nursing until she's 3 or something.

On hot days like today, she doesn't settle down easily, though, even nursing her. She turns and twists and babbles and kicks - all while very firmly latched. Not at all comfortable. And then these words come to mind.


Blood and Milk
by Sharlee Mullins Glenn

I dreamed of Oxford . . .
(spires, a thousand spires, endless lectures, musty halls
a solitary self in a Bodleian expanse
A good life my dear Wormwood. An orderly life.)

then awakened to laundry
and things to be wiped
countertops, noses, bottoms

How did this happen? And when, exactly?
Time flows, it flows, it flows
and there are choices to be made:

left or right?
paper or plastic?
blood or milk?

There's freedom in the bleeding;
bondage in the milk—do not be deceived.
Ah, but it's an empty freedom; a holy bondage,
A sweet and holy bondage.
Five times I chose the chains, those tender chains,
(though once will bind you just as well!)
and checked the crimson flow.
Suckled while dreaming of Trinity Term
but awakened, always awakened, to the laundry
and to that small and cherished captor at my breast.

-From Segullah

Motherhood is a Holy Bondage. And I am quite attached.

new york! new york!

So, New York City was awesome. And it was made even better by the fact that we got to spend it with my sister and her 6 awesome girlies. But I don't want to bore you with a travelouge, so I'll just let the kids tell you about it.

Ana:

What was your favorite part of NYC?

Going to Mary Poppins. (Dave took just Ana to the Broadway musical.)



What was your favorite part of the show?

When the kids came halfway down the stairs and they gave their tokens to their dad because he lost his job. It was pretty sad I guess.

What did you think when Mary Poppins flew for the first time?

I thought it was real. But then Dad told me that she had strings.

What was your favorite song?

Super-cali-fresh-a-listic-extra-musha-dosha

Who was your favorite character?

The little girl (Jane) and Mary Poppins

Tell me something else about it.

I liked when the colors came out. It was awesome.

What was your favorite store we went into?

The American Girl Store!


Jack:

Tell me your favorite thing about NYC.

The building when we looked down from the tallest building. My favorite part of New York City was when we went to the top of the Empire State Building and seeing the Statue of Liberty.

I liked seeing the building that they are going to keep building until it's the tallest in the world.


Also: When we saw the Statue of Liberty on the island that the Statue of Liberty was on.



What else did we do in NYC?

Sleep. I saw the hole in the pools there. (9/11 Memorial)



What did you think of the Subway?

They go underground. Here's the road and the grass and we went through the tunnels. It was SUPER fast. I plugged my ears. It went dunka-dunka-dunka when it passed the poles that looked like smiley faces. It was too loud for me to hear.



What did Katie do in NYC?

Play! Play with me. (Jack)

What was your favorite store we went into?

The Candy shop. We should have bought a giant gummy bear for me.



Other highlights--

Central Park Zoo:

Going down the glass elevator at the 5th ave Apple Store:

Popsicles at the park:

Skyline from Liberty Island:

Dinosaurs at the American Museum of Natural History:

Grand Central Station:

Not Pictured: A trip to the Temple and an awesome Chilean Restaurant for me and Dave, Ellis Island, good conversation and great food with my sis and her family, Times Square and being stuck in traffic trying to leave the city.

Now we just want to go back!

god bless america

We celebrated America's birthday with a small town parade, an afternoon picnic, and evening BBQ and then a major thunderstorm. Fireworks were rained out, but we made up for it by splashing in puddles.













I love this day.

“America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.” -Alexis de Tocqueville

katie baby!

We got back from NYC on Friday night. We had a great trip and I will tell you all about it another day. But for today, here is a video of Katie at our hotel.