3 years ago today one of my best friends lost their 13 month old baby girl. It was truly one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever witnessed. Every year on this day, they send out an invitation to celebrate her life by doing good deeds and spreading "Eliza Jane Love." Today, as I thought about that family, my heart felt full and I wanted to share some thoughts.
1. I believe that, in general, people are doing the best they can.
2. I'm grateful for my children. Their spirits, their energy, their smiles and their goodness. I am likewise grateful for the lessons they are teaching me. I can see how God is using them to help me be more God-like.
3. I am very grateful for Dave. More and more lately, I have had an increasing appreciation for our differences. The way we approach things, the way we react to things, the way we think and respond to things are so very different. But I am glad for it. I am pushy and forward moving and full of ideas. He is calm and deliberate and likes to plan and perfect. I need his calm reassurance and steadiness and I am more and more grateful for it.
4. I am glad the holiday season is coming. For one season, Heaven seems closer. Love abounds. The whole earth seems to take a chance to look deeper and find what really matters. I feel like the world, and my own personal world too, needs some peace and comfort and I hope we will find it this season.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Monday, November 7, 2016
empty/full
I have been running on empty.
Completely depleted. It has been a long, lonely few months. I have felt tired, inadequate and depressed. But mostly lonely and isolated. I prayed more for strength in the last few months than I ever have before.
One week ago I found out I was having a miscarriage. This my fourth, my last one being over 6 years ago.
Though there have been tears and pain and heartache, I have been amazed and overwhelmed at the love and support that has come to me. A couple of my sisters have shown up to clean my kitchen, buy me lunch and vacuum my living room. Other siblings have sent flowers and texts and made phone calls. Friends and neighbors have surrounded me with love and support and help. One came and picked up my kids for the day. We have had dinner provided, and hugs given. I am overcome with gratitude for the love I have felt from my people and my God. I don't always understand why things happen the way they do.
I do know this, I have felt God's love for me through the love of those around me. I have heard words of encouragement and compassion. I have seen goodness. I have been reached out to and sought out and surrounded with kindness.
And for the first time in months, I feel full.
Completely depleted. It has been a long, lonely few months. I have felt tired, inadequate and depressed. But mostly lonely and isolated. I prayed more for strength in the last few months than I ever have before.
One week ago I found out I was having a miscarriage. This my fourth, my last one being over 6 years ago.
Though there have been tears and pain and heartache, I have been amazed and overwhelmed at the love and support that has come to me. A couple of my sisters have shown up to clean my kitchen, buy me lunch and vacuum my living room. Other siblings have sent flowers and texts and made phone calls. Friends and neighbors have surrounded me with love and support and help. One came and picked up my kids for the day. We have had dinner provided, and hugs given. I am overcome with gratitude for the love I have felt from my people and my God. I don't always understand why things happen the way they do.
I do know this, I have felt God's love for me through the love of those around me. I have heard words of encouragement and compassion. I have seen goodness. I have been reached out to and sought out and surrounded with kindness.
And for the first time in months, I feel full.
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