i have a list of lists

Dave says I have a "swirly brain."

He, on the other hand, has compartment brain. When he's at work, he is focused on working, and is there 100%. Everything he does has his full attention. I was always amazed at/driven crazy by this in school. When he was home playing with Ana, he was just playing with her - without thinking about homework or church callings or anything else.

By contrast, I have a constant stream of lists in my head. No matter what I am doing, I'm thinking of a million things that I need to do.

I'm sort of in a swirly brain daze today. I have a bbq to plan, a funeral to help with (for the 3rd weekend in a row) and we're moving in less than 3 weeks! My brain is swirling.

A lot of times it's a little paralyzing. Which is why it's after noon and I'm still in my pjs and breakfast is still on the table.

So I make lists. I have a grocery list, a shopping list, a list of things we want to take with us on our drive, a cleaning list, a phone call list, a list of things we need to get rid of, a list of things we want to do again before we leave. I also need a haircut - before I do something drastic.

Its the only way to get my swirly brain to get on track.

First on my list: take a shower.

in love

This little boy has me wrapped around his finger.

Tonight while I was laying next to him in bed, he reached out and held my hand. Then we laid facing each other. Every time I'd smile at him his eyes would light up and he'd get this big ol' grin on his face like he was the happiest boy in the world. And in the moment I was the happiest mommy in the world.



(his cousin Paisley loves him too.)


And today I realized that I really do love my husband more than the day we got married. I've wondered about sometimes when I was annoyed at some little thing or we were disagreeing about some big thing. But today I realized that our love is strong enough to withstand annoyances and disagreements. I still love being with him. I miss him when he's gone. I am so excited to start a new adventure in our lives together.


Today I also realized that Ana is a good friend. She is kind. She is willing to share. She is willing to give up what she wants (like a pink popsicle) so someone else can be happy. That is awesome!

I'm totally in love with my family.

and i sound just like my mother

Ana loves gum.

I started keeping gum around when I outlawed fruit snacks due to the rotting teeth thing. So in the afternoon when her bored self wanders into the kitchen even though she's not really hungry, I started giving her fruity flavored trident. And boy is it a hit!

It keeps her happy in the car, in the store, and at home.

Lately she's been telling me (and her brother Jack) "If we swallow it, then we become magic."

I have no response to that.

And I'll admit, I have been known to say "keep that gum in your mouth or I'll throw it away."

a driving lesson

I don't profess to be an excellent driver. I realize that I am easily distracted and reactionary.

Dave however, is an excellent driver. He grew up around cars and driving. He's very observant and is always aware of his surroundings. I always feel safe with him in the drivers seat. He almost always drives when we are together. Due to his exceptional abilities behind the wheel, he gets frustrated with other drivers. Some of these frustrations have rubbed off on me.

So today we are going to have a driving lesson. Title:

Giving up the right of way is not "nice." It is usually annoying and sometimes dangerous.

This week in town they have been repainting the crosswalks on the road. Usually they paint half of it, block off that half for a while so it can dry, then they do the other half. This usually means some interesting maneuverings around the cones. At one such intersection, I was stopped at a stop sign; it was not a 4 way stop. I wanted to turn right, but to do so I had to go around some cones into the other lane, so I had to make sure no cars were coming in either direction. When I got to the intersection, I noticed there were cars coming, so I was waiting patiently for the cars to pass. Like This:

(please excuse the crudity of this model. i did not have time to draw it to scale and paint it.)

Then I noticed that the blue car had pulled to a stop and was waving at me to go. I know they were trying to be nice, but in so doing, the gray car had to stop in the middle of the street to let me go. It would have been easier and less stressful if the blue car would have continued on their way as they should.

Another instance that happened to me recently was when someone had stopped on a two lane highway to let a semi pull out of a gas station. I was in the other lane, and since I had to right of way, I kept going and almost got slammed by a semi truck.

Other places where you should not give up the right of way: stoplights where the left turn is unprotected. Dave witnessed a near crash in Boise when some "nice" person waved the left turner on, but the other lane didn't see it and the left turner barely missed getting hit by oncoming traffic.

I recognize there are times when waving people in front of you is nice - like in a full parking lot, or in a traffic jam, etc. These are exceptions, not the rule.

I now will get off my soapbox. We'll now continue with our regular broadcast of my adorable children and precious moments.

number three

About 6 weeks ago I found out I was expecting #3 in January.

This week I found out that I am not.

This is my 3rd miscarriage: one before each of the kids. Each one has been harder than the one before.

But a series of events have brought me comfort and peace from a loving Heavenly Father. I know that He has a plan for me and for our family. I have been amazed at the outpouring of love from friends and family that have come our way. I know we are going to be okay.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the different trials everyone has. I have friends and family that have lost parents, lost jobs, lost children, struggled with infertility, and have children with disabilities. And I feel very blessed. I kiss my beautiful children extra these days. What a wonderful blessing is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

summer lovin'

I visited my mom last weekend. Ever have days that you just feel like you need your mother? Last weekend was one of those times. Sometimes I like visiting when no one else is in town. What can I say? I like my mother to myself.

We have one more month before we move to Vermont. We are getting anxious. Dave is burnt out with work. We have found an apartment. We're excited for the adventure.

Ana started swimming "lessons." (More accurately it is structured water play,but whatever.) She loves them.





I liked that it only took me 2 minutes to comb her hair afterward. (But I still don't think I'll keep it short.)

Time is flying. Sometimes I feel like the world is spinning and I'm standing there in a daze wondering what is going on.

But I love summer, and my children. So, its cool.

hair heartbreak

You know how my daughter has beautiful, long hair that I just love?

You know how I haven't ever cut it (more than a trim) because no other little girl has hair so long and shiny as Ana?

Yesterday that long, beautiful hair got caught in the wheels of a toy car. (One of those toy cars that you pull back and then they go forward on their own.) It was stuck for good.

We had to cut it out. Which means I had to cut the rest.

My heart broke. I may have cried.

I know, I know. Its cute. It'll grow. She's still the same little girl. (almost.) It'll be easier to comb now. etc. etc. But I had a love affair with that hair that now is tragically ended. ...sigh...

Ana, however, is thrilled. (Which I think makes it harder for me.) She has been asking for short hair for a long time. Every time she was around a friend with short hair, she would ask me to cut it. Some of her exclamations of joy:

"Now we have matching hair, Mom!"

"Is your heart full of joy? I am so happy."

"I want to show Anya, and Shari and Jamie, and Rylee and Jairus..."

"I want to show everyone in the world my new haircut! Let's Go, Mom."




On an unrelated note, this morning at breakfast she asked, "Mom, what if we never had bubblegum. Would we die?"

Yeah, she's still the same girl. :)

'happy birthday to me"

My baby is 2. Crazy!

I swear Ana was older at this age. I had a 6 week old baby when Ana was this age.

Today I thought, "why did I have a newborn when I still had a baby?"

Pics from today:

Opening presents from Grandma and Grandpa

His favorite present so far.

Singing Happy Birthday.

All day he was saying "Happy Birthday to Me!" but when the singing actually started, he was a little overwhelmed.

He is beginning to act 2. Just as Ana is starting to get better, he's deciding to be defiant about stuff.

But he's really sweet and happy. He still loves his kisses and loves. He says "I love my sandal shoes" or "I love my basketball shorts" or "I love ... (fill in the blank.)" Its cute.

He's happy to go to nursery, but he cries when we stay for choir practice after church. ("Don't sing, Mama.") He likes to listen to Rainbow Connection, and says he wants macaroni and cheese for lunch every day, but really doesn't each much of it. He'll eat most anything if he's in the mood. But a lot of time he's not in the mood at dinner time.

He loves balls, cars, and playing with Ana.

He has a tendency to run into the road. Thank you, attentive drivers, and Ana's dragging abilities, for potentially saving my son's life on two separate occasions.

His favorite show is Super Why!

He'll do an entire stack of puzzles by himself.

He sticks his tongue out repeatedly when he is concentrating.

He falls off of everything. This is new to me, because Ana is a monkey and doesn't fall off stuff. The other day Jack was standing still on my bed, I was sitting next to him watching him, and suddenly he fell off. Today he fell of the kitchen chair and later fell and bumped his head on the piano.

He loves to read Diego books (from Go Diego Go, though he's never seen that show) - especially ones with baby jaguar in it.

He's as easy and loving and happy as a 2 year old could be. We love our little guy.

sunday afternoon

The sun peaked itself out today so Ana and I went outside. Grandma has a snowball tree, and we walked over to sit under it. A big robin flew out of the tree, startling me and Ana. On closer look, we noticed a beautiful little robin's nest.



We tried not to disturb it, but Ana kept trying to see if the bird came back. I caught a peak at Ana through the bedroom window.




It started raining later, so we pulled out the water color paints.

Jack tried to keep his colors nice and neat.




Ana was mixing to find "a beautiful color."



Eventually they started sharing. (Mostly, Ana realized how much nicer Jack's paints were and decided they were better than hers.) I was mentioning to Dave how cute it was, and seriously 2 minutes later I walked in the kitchen and ...



they were making "mustaches."

I think this no tv thing is really making them become closer friends. Tonight they are sleeping together in Ana's bed for the 2nd night this week.



Totally worth it!

day #2

Today was much better. Ana only asked to watch a show a few times in the morning, and I even got a nap without her watching TV. There was only a little milk mess in the kitchen when I woke up. (It was totally worth it.)

I'm really trying to focus on replacing screen time with the most important things.

At women's conference Sister Julie Beck talked about priorities. She said there are three categories of things we do each day: the essential things, the necessary things and nice-to-do things.

Essential Things: things that help to bring personal revelation, namely, prayer and scriptures study. (Click HERE for more information on revelation.)

Necessary Things: housework, caring for children, work, meals, church responsibilities, etc. She said if we do the essential things first, necessary things are easier, because we see it has service and as an act of love.

Nice-to-do Things: hobbies, blogging, etc. One thing Sis Beck said is that as we do essential things, then necessary things we will be amazed at how much time we have for the nice to do things.

So, I'm trying to really focus on doing first things first. And its amazing how true I have found this to be over the last couple days. I'm still able to read, and blog, and other things that I just like doing.

So, we're going to keep at it.

day #1

Subtitle: I may have picked the wrong week to start this

Ana was crabby today. Surprisingly, she didn't ask me to all day to watch TV. She just followed me around whining. Or asking to eat a marshmallow. Or saying she was bored. Or running outside in her panties.

I am exhausted.

The day started fine, but I didn't feel very well, and by 4 o'clock, I was ready to lay down for a nap. Or just go to bed for the night.

*Question*
Is it really beneficial going without TV if I am crabby with my kids in its place?

You don't have to answer that.

I did get a lot accomplished. I am amazed at how often I sit at the computer "just for a minute" throughout the day. All day I thought, "I'll just go look this up really quick..." and then stopped myself.

I think it will be good for us. Ana really does not play by herself. Ever. Ever. So, that is my problem. How do I teach her to entertain herself for 10 minutes while I shower? (I didn't shower today.)

Anyway, I am sticking this out. I am determined. Dave took the kids tonight while I did Relief Society visits and now I'm home and he isn't. The quiet is wonderful.

*A question my sister asked when I told her this idea*
Are you punishing yourself?

I am beginning to wonder.

But I am optimistic that over the next few days it will improve. Tomorrow we will go to the park. That will be good for us, I think.

unplugged

We got home late last night from Boise. It was a lot of fun. I was going to upload a bunch of pictures from it, but I'm too tired. I woke up when I moved from the living room couch to my bed, and now I am awake for a few minutes.

Tonight was our ward book club at my house, so instead of unpacking, I spent the day re-reading the book and letting Ana watch TV. She watched a lot of TV.

Usually she doesn't watch quite as much TV as she did today, but she usually watches enough that I feel guilty about it. And when she's not watching, she's sneaking into my room to try to watch or asking me to watch a show, or whatever.

So, tomorrow, I'm unplugging the TV. And turning off the computer.
(At least while the kids are awake. I also have a lesson to prepare for Sunday, and a few other computer friendly tasks - but not while my kids are around.)

So instead of watching Super Why, we'll be doing a nice morning routine. Instead of watching Martha Speaks we'll be playing outside (or inside, if the weather is rainy.)

Instead of facebook, I'll be doing the laundry and the dishes. Instead of looking at random blogs of people I have never met, I'll be making bread or cookies or sorting through papers or a myriad of other things that have been on my to do list that I never get around to doing.

1 week. I'm sure the first few days are going to be a challenge. And who knows what will happen over the weekend when Dave is at home. But I'm committing to this. While we were at my sister's house Ana did not watch one TV show. Granted, she had cousins to play with, but surely there is something that will spark her interest.

Any ideas on activities and tips to get kids to help out with tasks are greatly welcome, but of course, I may not get to reading them. I'm actually looking forward to it.