if its going to be cold, it might as well snow

We played in the snow today for the first time this year. It was fun. The kids lasted 30 minutes before they got cold, but that was about 15 minutes longer than I was anticipating.




We then came inside and had hot chocolate. I think my favorite part was when Ana brought her empty mug into the kitchen and said, "Thanks, Mommy. That was so yummy!"

A little piece of happiness.

"sew" in the mood and other holiday hoopla

Christmas came and went too fast. Didn't it seem like December was a lot longer when we were young?

The weekend before Christmas we went down to Utah to see my Grandparents and then visit Temple Square, which we have done almost every year since 2004. My Grandpa was pleased with the little gift we gave him: a Christmas ornament of the Wilson Theater, which is where he took my Grandma on their first date.




Then we had Ana's dance recital, which was really fun. (Ana is 2 over from the boy.) The best part was when she watched the other girls dance. She stood in the aisle and danced her way through most of the other dances. It was very cute, if a bit distracting.




Christmas was small and good. I spent a lot of hours making projects and forgot to take pictures that morning. Ana had a horrible time settling down the night before and was up early so was whiny most of the day. But mostly it was a good, happy day (and day after) full of fun, family and food.


Jack's quiet book took about 20 hours. My sister said, "you can make me one." I said, "well it took my 20 hours and so at $10 an hour: that's $200." I also made gifts for my sister and family, so I spent 2-3 hour every night for 10 days sewing. But somehow, it didn't squash my sewing enthusiasm at all. I guess I've just really been in the mood.

I think Ana's favorite thing from this holiday season was something we picked up at DI yesterday: pom-poms. I came home and whipped up this little cheerleader skirt from some extra fabric I had and she has been content as can be. This morning she wanted Jack to be "a team" so we dressed him up and he was carrying around a football that came in his stocking.


Dave and I sat down to reflect on 2009 and set our new year's resolutions. I am anxious for 2010 and all the new adventures that await us. But that is another post...

merry christmas

kid #2

When you have a baby and your heart is so full of love for them you often wonder how you could ever love another baby as much as that first baby. But then you have another and you find that you love them just as much and somehow there is enough love to fill your whole heart for each of them.

And we love our little Jacky-Boy more and more. But then I realize he's not a baby anymore. He is our happy, cheerful, sensitive, cuddler of a toddler. I never knew that kids this little play with toys by themselves. (Ana never did/does.) But the other evening, when Ana was gone with Daddy, Jack started lining up his (my) blocks, then messing them up, then lining them up again. It lasted 20-30 minutes. So we made an impromptu photo-shoot out of it. And you know its impromptu because, like most days, he's not wearing pants and his shirt is dirty.






That face melts my heart. Can you blame me?

my daughter the "monkey"

Yesterday I pulled out the card-table house again. The kids played in for about 5 minutes.

Then And decided she was a monkey and it was her monkey cage.

Then she needed a tail.

But her tail was too long, so I had to shorten it.

The rest of pretend time was spent with her asking me questions like, "do monkey's go potty in their house? Do monkey's like babies? Why do monkey's like babies? What do monkey's eat? How do monkey's get clean?" etc. etc. When I didn't know the answer she'd say, "Please just tell me mom, I don't know."

So much for pretend play...

that kind of wife

Today I spent most of the day in a dress and an apron. It looked cute. It made me feel like I was a 1950's housewife, which made me feel good.

A few weeks ago Dave and I watched "The Ugly American" which I liked for a number of reasons, mostly because of the political message about American apathy. But I liked it also because of the role's of the main guy's wife. She was strong and involved in what her husband was doing, which is cool. But more importantly, she was also gracious, refined, kind, and was there for him when he needed her. She met him at the door with a smile and a drink and was happy to serve him. I want to be that kind of wife.

I guess some would call me an "anti-feminist." I find it interesting that it was called the "feminist movement" anyway because it wasn't a celebration of femininity at all, but a glorification of masculine traits in women. There are many reproductions of supposed "rules of good wifehood" from the 1950's, mostly as an effort for women to laugh and think "look how far we come." I usually think "why don't we go back to that?"

Don't get me wrong here. I am glad a can vote (a product of women's sufferage, not the feminist movement, however). I believe equally qualified individuals should be paid equally regardless of race, religion, gender, or whatever else. And I believe in being respectful to all people. Those are good things. And I'm glad that social norms are such that I don't have to wear a dress everyday if I don't want to.

I am also amazed at how much Dave is involved in the child-rearing process. He puts the kids to bed almost every night, and is so good with them. We counsel together about our children and life decisions. These things are also good.

But men and women are different. And I like that. The women I look up to are not tough women who made it in a "man's world" or pushed themselves to the top of the corporate ladder, but women of refinement and graciousness. President James E Faust said that femininity “is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your … capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each … possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty."

When did praising a man for his "manliness" and a woman for her "delicacy" become such a thing of the past? When did chivalry become insulting (or at least unnecessary)? Why is it so primitive and unrealistic (and sexist) to greet your husband with a smile, a hot dinner and a clean house? I try to do these things. Not because Dave demands it of me. In fact, all the times he come home to a mess (which happens more than I would like it too) he has never once given me that "what have you done all day?" speech so many women get. But I see how much relief it gives him to come home to happy faces, dinner on the table, and a clean house. It makes him happy. Which makes me happy. Which makes our home happy.

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity." (Margaret D. Nadauld, The Joy of Womanhood)

These feminine traits should be valued by both men and woman, and nutured in women no matter their role - even (especially) in the workplace. I am proud of my role as the loving, behind-the-scenes, housewife and mother.

But tomorrow I'll wear pants.

but where will we put it?

Last night was our ward Christmas party. Ana was very excited about Santa Claus. (Jack was mostly excited about the candy cane.) She was also insistent that she get up on stage and sing with the primary kids, even though she didn't know the songs. But when she came back down she excitedly told us that she knew the words.

Ana asked Santa for a "downstairs."



This morning she said, "Mom, where will we put our downstairs?"


*picture by our home teacher

last week

a summary

*Larsen Family Reunion/Grandma's Christmas party



*Ana's first two dance recitals. (We took a video, but we can't upload it onto our computer. For a video taken by one of other moms, go HERE. Ana is on the right. The first song, you can't see her the whole time, but the second dance you can. Thanks Alisha.)



*Dave's work party

*Dave took Ana and cut down the Christmas tree, then we decorated. (Grandma and Grandpa stopped by during that time)



*4 hours of RS visits, plus some other stuff

*Oh yeah, and my children have somehow been infected with the "incredibly whiny and disobedient" virus. But they are still really cute.

leave tiger alone

Tiger Woods can play golf really well. I like that. And that's pretty much all I care about when it comes to him. I am sick of his name all over every news web page/show/whatever for wrecking his car. Quit it.

Jon Stewart pretty much said the same thing. Way funnier.


Basically, I hate how the media reports on stuff like this. They spend way too much time on trivial and irrelevant stories instead of informing anyone about what is actually important.

i am thankful...

I am a day late and my camera ran out of battery after only a few pictures, but our Thanksgiving was great! We spent it at my sister's amazing new house in Boise along with my mom and dad, and 3 additional sisters plus one friend. Good company + good food = great time. We especially enjoyed watching football and star trek on very comfy couches in front of a large screen TV. Nice...

This afternoon before we left, Jack walked up to Dave saying "bee ball" (meaning football) and pointing downstairs. So Dave took Jack and they went down and watched football together. (captured by camera phone)



I'm pretty sure that was Dave's favorite part of the trip. Watching football with his boy.

Stuff I'm thankful for:
*My family. My brothers and sisters (from both sides of the family), awesome parents and in-laws.
*that Dave got into med school this year. We are so excited for a new adventure in our lives.
*Dave's job.
*Church, specifically - temples and that my family is going to be together forever. That is cool!
*My health.

But mostly,
*the wonderful daddy to my kids. Seriously, this guy is so patient and tender with our kids. It is the best thing a wife could ask for.
*and my kids. They make being worn out by 8 pm worth it.

Now its time to kick it into gear for Christmas. I'll be spending a lot of time at my sewing machine. I love this time of year!

finding what works

When Ana was about Jack's age, she used to pull all of the books off of the bookshelf.



Now, its Jack's turn. I think I put those books back on the shelf 3 or 4 times a day. Today, while engaged in just such an activity, I was remembering that Ana did the same thing. Although, when Ana did it, I used to leave the books on the floor for days. I just figured they would end up there again anyway.

I have been told at times that I am little "too laid back" in my parenting style. Maybe that's right. Like how my children run around without pants on most afternoons. (Pants = more laundry. We're not going anywhere.) And how they like to jump on the couch and/or pull the cushions off. And how I don't fix Ana's hair everyday.

But its mostly just a matter of finding what works. I have been known to be "intense." I decided that "if I cared about anything I would have to care about everything. And I'd go stark raving mad." (name that movie). So I choose not to care. There are things that have eternal consequences and that is what I care about.

Slowly I'm learning that more and more things are worth caring about. I used to not make my bed because Dave is so tall that he would pull the sheets out of the bottom every night and it wasn't worth it. Then I realized that I didn't have to tuck the sheets in at all. If I just straighten it up a bit, it makes my whole room look a lot cleaner.

And I do the dishes every night. And vacuum almost every day. And I usually fold my laundry right out of the dryer. I've realized that if I keep the entertainment center cleared off, it makes the living room look more put together.

And I clean up those darn books all day long. But I'm not quite ready to make him stop pulling them off. Its just not worth caring about.

here goes nothin'

After my rather embarrassing experience last Sunday, I was quite surprised when I was asked to meet with the Bishop on Tuesday evening. I was so sure he was calling me in to make sure I was still sane - And that Dave hadn't decided not to come to church anymore. I was freaking out all day worrying over how I was going to calming and coolly tell him that really everything was just fine I was just overly emotional from having Dave gone and the kids acting up and... PMS ... can you say that to the bishop? But that really we were fine and Dave was home and we were all happy. I had practically prepared a speech about it.

That isn't what he was concerned about. Instead I was called to be in the Relief Society Presidency.

I have gone through many emotions such as: "but I'm not even that great of a visiting teacher" and "I'm way too young for this" and "it'll be fun to get to know everyone in the ward" and "at least its only for 8 months."

Mostly, I'm excited now. It'll be something new.

But man, I'll miss my primary kids.

stop it

Sometimes I would like to do things like this guy when I am at work.

home sweet home

Our house is old. Not only do we have a carpeted kitchen and "retro" wall paper and wood paneling, but we have some crazy quirks about it too.

Like how there is only 1 outlet in each room. In the case of the bathroom, that happens to be directly above the mirror, which makes trying to curl my hair an interesting challenge. So I don't. But that's a whole other story.

It also means that at night, the children can't have music playing, a night light and a heater all at the same time. So, we opted for the heater and night light.

Most of the house is on the same circuit. It didn't really matter much until the winter. But since it started getting cold, I noticed that the circuit breaks almost daily. When I use any appliance in the kitchen (toaster, vacuum, etc.) it trips the circuit and our power goes out. So, I have to turn the heater off in the kid's room first.

Its happened enough that if I happen to forget and the power goes out, Ana knows to run into her room and flip the heater off so I can finish vacuuming.

I think its cute that she does that for me.

We like our old house.

in praise of single moms - and my husband - and relief society

Dave right now is getting on a plane to fly back from Philedelphia. Tomorrow he has an interview at U of U and then he's coming back to me after 5 L.O.N.G days.

I went to church by myself for the first time. It started out just fine. I got there 5 minutes early, and the kids were sitting there mostly reverent, except for Ana's loud call to her friend in the middle of the sacrament. But just about the time that the fruit snacks were all gone and Jack's stickers ran out, I lost control. Ana was rolling around on the bench and kneeling up and talking really loudly to the girls behind her. Jack started crying and I had to take him out. But Ana didn't follow me like I thought she would. So I went back in. Then they both went crazy and I picked Ana up to carry her out, but Jack didn't follow me, so I had to half drag him out. Then I thought the meeting should have been over so I went back into the chapel, but it was still the closing song. Jack was screaming and I was trying to collect several books, colored pencils and cereal from off the floor. Then the lady behind me told me that she'd keep an eye on Ana if I took Jack out. So I did.

And I cried.

Everyone was really nice about it. I got several hugs, even more "we've all been there, you're still a good mom"s and even a few "you are braver than me, I would have stayed home." One lady took Jack for the rest of church and kept him happy. Another took my primary class into hers and taught the class for me.

I went in the mother's lounge and cried some more. Eventually I calmed down enough to go to sharing time. Now we are home.

When we lived in Rexburg I used to sit by a friend of mine during church because her husband was in a bishopric up on campus. When we left she told me she was so grateful for that. I told her it was no big deal. After today, I realized that it was a big deal.

Often when we talk about Relief Society we talk about relief to the poor and needy. I'm so grateful for those who provided me with relief today at church.

And I'm grateful for my husband who does so much for me! I really should be more appreciative when he's around.

And I'm in awe at mothers who do this every week - whether they are single or if they're husbands are not with them for one reason or another. My hat's off to you.

Philadelphia Update

The interview went well yesterday - I interviewed on the 18th floor of a hospital downtown. It was pretty cool.

Today we (Dave and Kendall) were in the city all day long. We are tired.

Anyway, here is a picture someone took of us in front of Independence Hall.



More pictures will probably be posted after we get back Monday night.

am I the only one?

Sometimes I feel like the mommy version of the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

If Mommy walks into the kitchen to put away the clean dishes, she'll probably notice the washer machine and remember to change the laundry. As she's unloading the dryer, she'll probably decide she needs to pick up all of the stuff the kids pulled out of the cupboard. While she's doing that, chances are she'll remember the pair of pants that she needed to wash that was in the other room. On the way, she sees a bag of new clothes that need to be put away in the kids' bedroom. Much to her dismay, her daughters pony-tail holders are strewn all around the bedroom so she'll stop to pick those up right away. Then she'll see the pair of jeans she needs to wash and she'll head back to the laundry room. And chances are as she walks through the kitchen to get to the laundry room, she'll probably notice the dishes in the drainer that need to be put away...

True story.

i've been grumpy lately

I'm not sure why, but my "bad mommy" self has come out the last few days.

Maybe its because my house was perfectly clean on Thursday night when I hosted book club and by Friday afternoon it was trashed again.

Maybe its because we have some serious disobedience issues lately. Ana just ignores me no matter what I say or how I say it.

Maybe its because the weather is changing and I'm feeling cooped up.

Whatever the reason, I'm grumpy.

I cannot get over this video. Enjoy.

quick thought: we've been caught

Monday night we had Halloween candy for FHE treats. After the kids went to bed, Dave and I continued snacking. This morning Ana said to me:

"Mama, were you and daddy eating my candy last night?"

"Why would you think that, Ana?" I asked.

"Because there are wrappers on the computer desk..."

Is she old enough to catch us snitching her candy already?

my favorite thing about fall

this is happiness!

i'm so domesticated

Wow! This week has been busy busy with domestic-like stuff. And not the "house-cleaning" type, so I guess that's what I'll be catching up on tomorrow.

I was really excited with the kids Halloween costumes. Ana's dress took a lot of work, but I really liked it. Jack's took almost no work at all so they evened out. He didn't want to keep his hat on, though. We went to a Trunk or Treat, which was fun. Jack totally didn't understand the whole "trick or treat" thing. He just thought, "man I just got a sucker and I'm going to stop right here and eat it." I think Ana's favorite thing was going over to Grandma's and helping her pass out candy to all the kids that came to the door.





I also felt extra motivated this year so I made the kids Halloween treat bags. I like how they turned out.



Also today was a family get together with my siblings. I told my sister over a year ago that I would make her some throw pillows. I committed to give them to her at the family party today so I've been working on those this week too. I love them so much, I wish they matched my couch. I also made a fresh-pumpkin pie and a salad for the party.



Whew! Its been a busy week and it was a lot of fun! I'm all in the sewing groove now so I'm ready to start on a few handmade Christmas presents for the kids. Yay!

Happy Halloween.

I've had a great time putting together Ana's costume. A few weeks ago she watched "Tinkerbell" and she was determined to be Tink. She didn't change her mind once.

Yesterday she got to do the Costume parade at her cousin's Rylee's school. (Rylee is 9 and they are best friends. Ana said to me the other day: "I know we will be friends forever.") Then she went to Rylee's costume birthday party at the bowling alley. She had a lot of fun.



I'm excited for tonight!

an answer to the question "what did you do all day?"

Sometimes, when its 9:00 pm and I am exhausted and the house is a mess and I am confronted with this:


I think to myself, "what did I do all day?" So, I write it down.



And then when I feel validated at my exhaustion, I get to work and finish the dishes. Because nothing is worse than waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes.



Ahhh. That feels better, now I'm going to go watch Thoroughly Modern Millie with Dave.

life has changed

I used to sing great arias.
Now I'm humming a lullaby tune
I used to read "The Great Books"
Now I'm reading "Goodnight, Moon."

I used to hike up mountains.
Now I'm chasing toddler feet.
I use to go out on Friday night.
Now I'm rocking a baby to sleep.

I used to want to see the world
and travel to far off lands.
Now I'm kissing tear-streaked cheeks
and washing dirty hands.

My fingertips once were trimmed
and polished perfectly.
Now they are calloused and rough,
but it doesn't bother me.

For all the things I used to do
have fallen all away.
But I'd trade them all forever
for my babies every day.

- Erin Larsen
October 26, 2009

have i mentioned that my kids are really cute?

Because they really are. And in case you are not quite convinced, here are some pictures of them...

But in all seriousness, I mostly just wanted to "journal" a few things about my little boy right now.

*Jack can say (and does) about 40 words. My favorites are that he can say sticker "tick-y" and he calls his blankie "lee." When he really wants something (like a fruit snack) he says, "Peeeez" (please) and when he really doesn't want something (like a diaper change) he squeals "NOOO!" and runs away.

*He likes to lounge (evidenced by picture #2). He is relaxed and happy and content most of the time, but he can throw a mean temper tantrum when he is really tired or hungry.

*He loves blocks. That is weird to me because Ana was never really interested so we don't have any. But Grandma does, and boy oh boy that is what he plays with there.

*He dances by turning around in a circle. He did it for 30 minutes straight tonight. He only fell down a few times from dizziness. I really need to get a video of that.

*Being mommy makes me happy. Though, that is easy to say when they are both asleep and went to bed without a peep.

all you need is love

I have being average down to an art.

I can do a lot of things at a mediocre level. I sing and play the piano enough to get by. I can sew a few things here and there. My house is usually a mess, but it isn't dirty. I like being active, but I'm not "athletic." Some days I'm a good mommy, most days I'm an average mommy. I can be crafty/creative in spurts, but its not my forte. Nothing is my forte.

I'm not complaining. A while ago this would have been a complaint, but I'm finally becoming okay with it.

After Dave and I were married, one of the biggest adjustments for me was meeting girls. I was always so sure that other wives/mommys wouldn't think I was "cool" because I wasn't some fasionista who could sew and craft and have a perfectly spotless house and who always looks perfectly accessorized, or whatever.

Part of it was that I was going to school and really didn't have the time to do my dishes let alone all that other stuff. The other part was that it just isn't me.

The other day I was standing at my kitchen sink and I realized that I didn't care. I just want to be nice. I want people to say, "Erin is a nice person." I want to be good at loving people.

Though I have a long way to go, I think I'd rather spend my energy on that than all of the other "good" things that could pull me in different directions.

That's all that really matters anyway.

(P.S. THIS is one of my favorite talks on the subject)

ana the photographer

When we were taking our family pictures Ana really wanted to take some pictures by herself. So, we set the camera up on the tripod and let her point it and push the button. She has done it a few times now. Here are some pictures that she took. I told her she could tell me what she wanted to write by them. Also, she typed some at the bottom. So, here you go-

Stop look and listen.

Mama

I forgot to say cheese.

ana
dad
ananananananannnananah
dadad
ada

family pictures

We went up to Pomerelle today to take a new family picture. We had a good time and Ana got to take a few pictures by herself which made her very happy.