where have i been?

Maine, mostly. We went over the weekend. I have also been trying to get stuff ready for school to start. We are so ready. I have a 6 year old who has a bit of an attitude lately that I can't seem to curb. So, the usual stuff.

I also managed to repaint a desk. In analyzing my house-work techniques I have noticed a common theme: piles. There are piles of junk mail and piles of real mail and piles of pictures the kids color and piles of stuff to take upstairs and piles and piles and piles. Junk attracts junk, they say.

But I didn't really have anywhere to PUT any of these things. So I just piled them up. Finally I think to myself that I needed a central place. ONE place to put all these piles. One place that is easy to clean and keep organized, instead of stacking it up on my piano and mantle and dining room table.

Then we spotted a free little desk by the side of the road. It needed some easy fix-ups and a coat of paint, but it was in pretty good shape so we brought it home.



Tada!


Of course, it only looks like this every few days when I clean off all the piles. Dave saw the piles and asked if the desk was serving its purpose covered in junk. "Yes!" I said. He looked a little skeptical, but it is keeping the piles off my piano and table and stereo and stairs, and being in a small space means it is easier to clean off, and I do it more often. Plus the drawers are super organized and I can always find a pen and a piece of paper and the tape and my calendar markers and other office supplies. So, I love the little desk. And it cost me a grand total of $0.

More on Maine tomorrow or the next day. We'll see.

the happy homemaker

Me - washing dishes last Sept - photo by Ana, age 4

Housekeeping does not come naturally to me. I've mentioned this before. There are very few household tasks I enjoy. (In fact there is only one I have found to not mind so much and that is ironing Dave's shirts. Though, I don't like having to get the iron out and put it away again, so I don't do it very often. But I don't mind doing it if I have to.) I am also notoriously bad at leaving my crap around. I've tried setting up schedules and routines and they fall flat. I even dedicated 2010 to establishing a house of order. The truth is, I have an inner struggle between what I think I should do/be and what I actually want to do/be.

For instance: part of me really WANTS to have a rigid schedule where my day is mapped out down to the minute. Every so often I sit down and write one up that I swear I am going to stick to. They usually last a couple days. Then I decide that I would much rather be flexible and go-with-the-flow, and so it is abandoned, only to be re-written a few months later when I swear I will be more productive. I really do want a clean house, but I also do not want to be so preoccupied with cleanliness that it I neglect relationships. Plus, I don't like housework, and the preoccupation with it just stresses me out and makes me miserable.

If there is one "rule of housework" that I have set for myself it is this:

1. Forget the "shoulds" and do what works for me.

Dishes are my nemesis of housework. I can never stay on top of them. They pile up and stress me out. I feel like I should do them after dinner but after an hour in the kitchen and a good hearty meal, it is time to get the kids off to bed and then the LAST thing I want to do is stand at the kitchen sink. So I would either begrudgingly do them or guiltily put them off. Either way I was an uphappy housewife.

Last week I figured out what works for me. I am a much happier morning dish do-er. After Ana and Dave are off to school, and Katie sitting happily in her swing, Jack climbs up next to me to play in the bubbles while I wash the dishes from the night before. My kitchen is clean for the day. It may not be "ideal" but it works for me.

All of the "housework" blogs tell me to do a couple loads of laundry every day. But all this gets me is a disaster of a bedroom and only half of my laundry done. I much prefer to do it all every Wednesday and Thursday, and then I don't have to think about it the other 5 days.

I also don't like to make a menu for the week. But I do like to pick 5 or 6 meals to have ingredients for and then I can choose from my list. That is what works for me.

I don't know why, but for some reason, this discovery has made me a much happier homemaker. So my kitchen is clean at 10 am, but not at 10 pm. My couch is a pile of laundry every Wednesday and Thursday. I may not be a perfect housekeeper, but it works for me.

house of order

My new year's resolution for this year was to "establish a house of order." As the weather is getting colder and the holidays approach, I've been analyzing my progress at this point. Some things I have done well and really focused on. Others I have not.

One thing that I have really focused on when we moved is finding a place for everything. I think I've done pretty well. I read a book on homemaking a couple years ago and the one thing I remember from it was that a homemaker deserves everything required for her trade just as any other profession. Now, I haven't taken this to excess and gone out buying everything to perfectly decorate my home. But when we moved in and didn't have a coat closet, I felt it was acceptable to buy an inexpensive coat rack and hooks.

(not an accurate representation of what this wall typically looks like. but isn't it cute?)

My dishes are usually undone, and there are usually toys on the floor and laundry on my bed. But everything has a place. (The fact that I'm too lazy to put everything away is an entirely different issue.)

I wish I would have known about THIS when I started 10 months ago. I met the mom of that family at storytime at the library and I think I want to live like that. Last night as I was doing the dishes and washing 3 pots of the same size and 8 hot chocolate mugs I realized that minimizing totally fosters all of the things I've been wanting to accomplish this year. I would have to do the dishes right away because if I didn't, we wouldn't have clean dishes for the next meal. I would have to wash the pot I cooked noodles in before I made popcorn later that night. My kitchen would be cleaner. If the kids had fewer "junk" toys I wouldn't be tripping over them. I would spend less time cleaning up and less time nagging the children to clean up. If we had fewer clothes, I would have to stay on top of the laundry. It all goes along with President Uchtdorf's talk about focusing on what matters most.

I'm definitely getting better. I want to continue to get better. I don't think this will be something that ends with the year because I am beginning to see things differently. I think these minimalists are onto something.

What do you think?

balance

I've been working on and thinking a lot about my theme for the year to get my house in order. Maybe it was because I had to teach a class on it for a weekday Relief Society meeting. (When I told my mom I was asked to teach on home organization, she laughed for 30 seconds straight. Really.) The class went pretty well, and I learned a lot from preparing to teach it. I've been slowly organizing stuff around the house a little at a time. A drawer here, a cupboard there. And I've been pretty good at keeping those places organized once I get them there. (With the exception of the kids room. It seems I can never keep that room clean. Sigh...)

Its hard for me to have to consciously think about housework all day. I know that the things that I think about now, if I follow through with them, will become second nature and eventually I won't have to think about them, but it is exhausting to think about housework all day. And right now I do because I want so badly for my house to look nice.

Anyway, I was thinking about this last night. More than anything else, I want everyone who comes into my home to feel welcome and like they are more important than anything else. I think that having a clean house is part of this. But I don't want my house to be so spotless that people are afraid to be themselves, or don't want to bring their kids over, or feel uncomfortable in any other way.

It is tricky to find this balance. I struggle with the "a place for everything" thing because there simply isn't enough room for everything. I have a hard enough time keeping daily things picked up and organized that getting to things like scrubbing the bathroom and cleaning out the fridge are long overdue.

What are some of your tricks? How do other moms keep on top of it all? And how do you do it and not feel like its weighing you down?

happy new year

Well, its a new year and now is the time for me to get all reflective and thoughtful.

We rang in the new year with food, family and fun. I let the kids stay up, and we all slept in this morning. It was good.

2009 was good and happy, but as usual, we had some surprises.

Unexpected things:
*Dave not getting into med school
*Staying in Rupert
*Relief Society Presidency

Good and Happy things:
*Dave getting into med school.
*Being near family

and of course, the happiest thing of all has been watching our kids grow. Man, I love my family.

2010 will be a good year. I just know it.

I've thought a lot about my theme for the new year. Of course, I should just keep going with last year's theme, because I could always be more loving. But, I think I need a new area to focus on.

A preface: Dave and I have been married for almost 5 years. For the first 3, I worked and went to school, became a mom and finished school and then got pregnant with number 2. Almost two years ago we moved here and I was just mom. And I've realized in the last year that housework has been a low priority since we got married and we (me) have gotten into some bad habits.

So now is the time to fix them. My focus for 2010 is:

Establish a house of order
(see D&C 88:119)

I want to spend the year establishing that house. That means I don't expect it to be perfect tomorrow. Or even next week. I have a plan. I am going to de-junk. Find a place for everything or throw it out. I'm going to get into a routine that includes exercise time and scripture study. I'm want to establish quiet time for Ana. I'm going to get into good habits. It'll be good.

Happy New Year!