best thanksgiving weekend ever

I've been thinking all day yesterday and today about how I should write the story of Thanksgiving 2012. It seems I have lost my (writing) voice lately, and my foggy brain is having a hard time forming coherent sentences.

But then, how can anyone describe the most awesome vacation/Thanksgiving ever. Along with 4 of our closest couple friends, we spent three glorious days in a mountain vacation home in central Vermont. The food was abundant and delicious. The home was spacious and warm with a big fireplace and an open kitchen. The kids were generally well-behaved. And the company was fantastic. Three whole days of relaxing, chatting, eating, playing pool, soaking in the hot tub, cooking dough-boys over the fire, a little online shopping and staying up way too late.  We have the most generous, kind, talented, fun-loving friends here in Vermont.

 We took a chance to go around the table and share what we were thankful for on Thanksgiving. As I sat there amongst such wonderful people I thought of how grateful I am that my parents encouraged me (and all their children) to spread our wings, to leave home and make friends and memories wherever life takes us. I remember my mom talking of good friends they have all over the country. I am so glad that when I leave this little corner of America,  I will have memories and friends that will last a lifetime.

I only took a few pictures. Hopefully they will be enough to cement this trip into my mind.

soundtrack to my life : track 1 : how do you solve a problem

A few months ago I purchased the soundtrack to The Sound of Music.  I love that music and listening to it again made me love it all the more.  Several of the songs spoke to me and I felt like it could be the soundtrack to my life now.

Track 1: "Maria"

I was sitting in bed, headphones in, when the song "Maria" came on.

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee. Her dress has got a tear.
 She waltzes on her way to mass and whistles on the stair.

  ...Instantly, I saw my little Ana Marie.

 
 When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused,
 and I never know exactly where I am.
 Unpredictable as weather, she's as flightly as a feather
 She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb.

Unpredictable is right. I am never quite sure how she is going to react to anything. Somethings that I think will elate her or motivate her, she shrugs off. Somethings I think she'll shrug off she takes to personally. 

She'd out pester any pest. Drive a hornet from it's nest.
 She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl.

 She is gentle, she is mild, she's a riddle, she's a child.
 She's a headache. She's an angel. She's a girl.

There are so many times I have explained something to her several times, just to have to ask and beg and plead some more. But oh, man. She can be so gentle. She loves snuggles and she is a sweet little "mother" to Katie and other little babies around. 

 How do you solve a problem like Maria?
 How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
 How do you find a word that means Maria?
 A flibbertigibbet, a will-o-the wisp, a clown.

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her.
 Many a thing she ought to understand.
 But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say?
 How do you catch a wave upon the sand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
 How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused And I never know exactly where I am Unpredictable as weather, she's as flighty as a feather She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb
She'll out pester any pest, drive a hornet from it's nest She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl She is gentle, she is wild, she's a riddle, she's a child She's a headache, she's an angel, she's a girl

Read more: THE SOUND OF MUSIC - MARIA (THE NUNS) LYRICS

When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused And I never know exactly where I am Unpredictable as weather, she's as flighty as a feather She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb
She'll out pester any pest, drive a hornet from it's nest She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl She is gentle, she is wild, she's a riddle, she's a child She's a headache, she's an angel, she's a girl

Read more: THE SOUND OF MUSIC - MARIA (THE NUNS) LYRICS

 Just to be clear, I don't consider Ana a "problem." I absolutely adore my daughter. She is so fun-loving. She is happy and energetic and passionate and determined and so many wonderful things. I love her. She has also stretched me as a parent, and as a person. I have put more thought and prayer into my relationship with that little girl than I ever thought I would. I have worried and wondered about how to teach her the right things. There are so many things I think she ought to understand and I feel like the message rolls away like a wave upon the sand.

The last few weeks have been a turning point for me, and I find myself loving her more than I ever thought. She is having some struggles right now, and I am on my knees asking for guidance in solving the little problems we are encountering. I have uttered similar prayers before, and I suspect it will not be the last.

big girl

One day last month I woke up and I looked at my baby.  Except, I didn't see a baby.

 I saw a walking, talking, full-fledged toddler.

The type who climbs on tables, yells during church, un-folds my clothes, and completely melts my heart.

This is the age where my motherhood instinct kicks in and I think that I need another baby. Especially holding my friend's little tiny 6-week old. That being said, I love Katie's age. Quite frankly, toddlers are my absolute favorite and I adore everything about her. I love how much toddlers learn and grow each day. She asks "Dada" to read her a "boo" (book) everyday. Her favorite book is an animal board book I bought from the library for 50 cents. Best purchase ever. When she is hungry or thristy she points to the fridge and asks for a "stng chee" or a "drink." And she loves her brother and sister - and they love her.

Of course toddlerhood has its challenges. She is a constant stream of busy: climbing, dumping, jabbering, un-organizing, but not really playing. Katie, like her older sister before her, is a social player. She is not interested in playing alone. Luckily she has friends that are happy to oblige.

I've determined that I just can't blink anymore.

thoughts on the election and ESPN radio

my family on Independence Day 2012

I've taken to listening to ESPN Radio while driving in the car. I'm not quite sure how that happened. Maybe it was my joining Dave's Fantasy Football league. (And I'm winning the league, by the way. 6-3 record. Just thought I'd throw that out there.) Maybe it was the fact that all the other radio stations either play crappy music or commercials and the classical station comes in fuzzy at times. Maybe it just happened because that is what Dave listens to. Either way, I'm an ESPN Radio fan.

The funny thing about it is that I enjoy it, and more than once I have been inspired by something that was said. A few weeks ago someone said that limitations in a quarterback make them greater because it gives them focus. I don't remember exactly how he worded it, but it reminded me of the scripture, "I give unto men weakness that they may be humble. ... for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." I've been thinking of ways the my limitations can bring focus to my life.

Once again today I tuned in. The election news has infiltrated everything, including ESPN.  They talked about the similarities between the CNN coverage of the election and the (over-the-top) game day coverage. Pundits battling it out, speculating on who would win and what the other team needed to do to bring in a win, and die-hard fans refusing to see the good in the other side.  The interesting thing about this analogy is that, in sports, even the most devoted fan of one team can still see talent in someone on the other side. Politics, not so much.

But there was much more at stake last night. It wasn't about a championship ring or a trophy on a shelf. We are talking about our freedom and the future we are building for future generations.  And yet, with so much more at stake, you would hope as a nation we would be more determined to see the good in both sides. Intelligent, patriotic, passionate people are on both sides of the fence, fighting for what they believe to be right. Instead of insults and "gloom and doom" attitudes, we should be looking for the talent and skills that both parties can bring to the table. That is really the only way to solve problems. Answers to complex problems don't come easily. Besides, most people want what is best for the people, and that means we are on the same team, whether or not we agree.

Although things didn't turn out as I hoped last night, I will continue to pray for our country and its leaders. I will continue to look for the good in both sides, and try to be a well-informed citizen. And mostly, I'll remember who really is in charge after all, and focus on raising my children to love God and America. (And sports.)

twas the week before halloween....

The weather has been unseasonably warm lately. That means that every afternoon when Ana gets home from school we go outside for an hour, doing stuff like this:

Spending that time after school means we have been eating a lot of french toast and grilled cheese and soup for dinner. I love soup.

Last week was a little crazy. I spent a lot of it reading Dracula for book club. I really liked it, and I like book club that gets me reading books I would never choose for myself.  And of course there is the typical Halloween preparations. Something about this time of year gets me all crafty and ambitious.

Last Saturday, in between the med school Halloween party and the trunk or treat at the church,  I took the kids outside for our annual Halloween photo shoot. (Previous years HERE and HERE)

What I love: everything about Jack's costume this year. I made the helmet and the jet pack, and then he's wearing a pair of Old Navy Jammies over snow pants. Best Costume Ever. Also, I love that Ana came up with the idea to be a pioneer all on her own after she pulled that dress out of my goodwill bag. It is an adult size. I made her apron and I like how it turned out, too. I also love Katie's alien costume. Easy, fast, and adorable. Especially with Jack as a partner.

Today Ana was home for Hurricane Sandy. We luckily were spared any damage or flooding or power outages, and the weather was actually quite nice. Dave was also home with strep throat, but he was feeling pretty good, so we carved our pumpkins. (I always thought it was weird in movies when people carved pumpkins the day before or on Halloween. But now I understand why you do that .... they mold so fast.) The kids were the designers and Dave and I were the executors.

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween.

when the sun shines....

When the sun shines on a New England fall day, you take advantage of it. Last Thursday was bright and sunny and with Ana home from school, it was the perfect opportunity to head up to the pumpkin patch and corn maze.

Saturday was also a beautiful day, so we headed down to Middlebury to the Robert Frost interpretive trail. It is a trail about 2 miles from Frost's home and the woods were likely the inspiration for many of his poems. The trail is lined with some of his most famous poems, including my favorite, "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening."

By the time we got there, it had clouded over and the woods were actually quite dark.  It was a lovely, "yellow wood" and we had a great time walking through the woods on cloudy afternoon. The leaves left on the tress and those covering the path shimmered so much they looked gold- and copper- plated. Many trees were bare, and in some places the woods almost looked desolate, but there was beauty in the desolation. It was a lovely, peaceful walk. It began to rain near the end, so we ended our little walk and headed back to the car.

(Ana running down the slope)

(Jack tripping down the path)

On the way home we stopped by a cute little candy shoppe near Middlebury.  It reminded me of the times when my cousin and I used to go to the local candy shoppe and by penny candies and then head home to gamble them in a rousing game of black jack in the bed of her dad's semi. (We were 12.)

They also had milk shakes, which are hard to come by in Ben & Jerry's home state. We bought the kids ice cream and candy sticks for dinner.

We headed home after the sun set, and tucked the kids into bed.

There is nothing quite like New England in the fall.

jammie jam

Nothin' like a morning dance party to get the day rolling.

I love that Jack thinks that Garth Brooks is "cool music" by the way.

Happy Wednesday!

little crazies

My kids are awesome.

Amidst the whining and the school struggles and the job battles and the crazy-toddler antics, sometimes I forget just how much I love my kids.

But this last week I've really felt it. Sure there are still crazy moments, but some how I managed to stay calm and see the good-ness in them all.

I love Ana's big ideas that she has. She has a hard time finishing her work at school, but by golly she'll work all afternoon building a violin out of popsicle sticks. She is passionate about everything (like her mama) and this can be frustrating and exciting at the same time.

I love how Jack is still talking about the Empire State Building and anything Space related and loves to draw and color and do projects.  He is my boy. He loves preschool and playing games and just hanging out with mom.

I also love this picture of Mickey Mouse and Clubhouse he drew last week.

And Katie. Oh, boy is she a little ball of fire. She is climbing on tables and railings and couches and everything else. She is talking a bit, but prefers to yell. She wants to be a big kid and she is super silly.  She is adorable and super irresistible.

She also loves to read this animal book that I scored for 50 cents at the library. (And she has Daddy wrapped around her finger.)

So even though they are crazy, and they make me crazy half the time, I love my little kids. They are so much fun and bring me so much happiness.

1:10.28

In September 2004 I ran a half marathon. That is a story in it's own right.

Over the last eight years, my enthusiasm for running hasn't waned, but my actually running totally has. I ran (or rather, jogged) a 5k here or there, but haven't really been "a runner" like I once was.

Last fall a bunch of my friends ran a 10k not far from here. I was barely two months postpartum and didn't think I could work my way up to 6 miles. But I said I would run it this year. (Again, it was more like jogging.)

I trained. But I have to admit, it is hard to figure out when to run when you have three kids. I ran twice a week, never for very long, and then one day I realized that the race was in 3 weeks and I could barely run 2.5 miles. I kicked it up a notch, but it seemed the world was against me. I would plan on running and then it would be blustering outside and I couldn't take Jack and Katie in the stroller. Or I would plan on switching off with a friend and Jack would wake up puking. I think the farthest I went was 4 miles.

Then it was race day. On Saturday morning, amid the rain and mist and wind, and beautiful fall foliage, me and three other friends ran a 10k. And I did it! I jogged the entire way. About mile 5 my knees started killing me. But I kept going and I actually finished in better time than I thought I would.

I still came in last. There might have been one walker behind me. I'm not sure. Either way, I finished.

Right after we got done it started raining really hard. We had a lot of fun and I can't wait to do it again.

Then I came home, took a shower, and sat down to watch General Conference and put my feet up. 

i am a femininist

In the hallway by Ana's old kindergarten classroom is the statement, "To live is to grow and change."  This year has been a "living" experience for me in many ways. I've been growing and changing in my views of so many things. What I once saw as black and white I now see so differently.

One of those topics is the role of women and how the world views womanhood. In my younger, more "black and white" days, I would say that a woman's place is in the home. That seeking work outside the home is short-sighted. Please don't strike me down for that view.  I still believe that the most important thing that we do as woman is be a mother. That has not changed. I still am committed to being a stay-at-home mom and to be proud of that. But I see now that there are many ways to mother successfully and that women have so many gifts and talents that can be shared with the world.

I find it interesting that so many women who receive the praise of the world are usually not praised for the things that are womanly. Instead they are praised for being rough and "making it in a man's world." I want to see more praise for femininity, instead of praise despite femininity. Women have natural gifts that can bring so much goodness to the world.  Women see beauty. Women look beyond themselves and serve others. Women nurture. Women are naturally spiritually in tune. Women see problems differently.

Woman have a desire to contribute meaningfully to their families. We don't have to churn butter and sew our own clothes and smoke our own meat or wash our laundry by hand. But we should be "anxiously engaged" in doing good things. For some that means teaching art classes to children or doing photography. (Both incredibly talented friends of mine.) For others that means working in an office. And still for others it means letting their kids be involved in ballet and music and soccer and whatever else. (This is an absolutely wonderful talk on this very subject.)

So let's start a new movement. A "femininist" movement. Not a movement where we burn bras or demand equal rights. That has been done. A movement where we celebrate strength in femininity. A movement that we look for ways in which women contribute in womanly ways to the betterment of society. A movement that finds joy and contentment in what we are as women. We are mothers. We are also nurses and teachers and CEOs and city planners and dental hygenists and writers and a million other good things. And we are all women.