I've been thinking about the New Year for a couple months now. I've thought a lot about my theme for last year to "Establish a House of Order." I think I did well for a while. I learned a lot of things. Like how it is just as easy to fold towels neatly in the cupboard as opposed to shoving them in there randomly. And how it is easier for kids to help clean up when everything has a place: like shoes, toys, and clothes. I still have not completely solved my clutter issues, but I am getting better. I think it was a good goal for me to have. It was a good year and time to focus on that.
I also discovered some things in the process. I have discovered some underlying issues that I have with my homemaking and personal habits, as well as my issues that continually come up in parenting. And with my New Year Theme, I plan to address them.
My theme for 2011 is a good one. I have studied and pondered and I really think I'm onto something that can be really great. I can see the benefits from changing my focus. I can see personal benefits and I can see how great it could be for my family, especially my children.
But I'm not going to tell you what it is. Not yet anyway.
The fact is, I am scared. I know how far I am from the goal I have in mind. I am afraid of the exertion - both physically and emotionally - it will take to change myself into the kind of person that I want to be. I am scared of committing myself to something that I'm not strong enough to do right now. I am afraid of looking back a year from now and feeling like I have failed. I am scared that my laziness will kick in and I'll stop trying and end up disappointing myself.
What I'm really saying is, I need more time. I need time to prepare myself, my home, my family to make a change. I can commit to that though, to the preparation, to the emotional training. A little more study and thought and prayer, and I think I'll be ready soon.
3 comments:
You should tell us anyway you big tease! ;) But seriously, none of us are perfect, and we all fall short of our goals and aspirations at times. But all of us need goals to reach for and something to feel accountable for. If it really is a big thing that will take time and energy and focus... then don't limit yourself to 2011. Set the goal to be there in 5 years, and make the resolution to reach XXX point by next year. You can do it; I have faith in you. :)
I'm excited for you and whatever new direction this is. A couple years ago I wanted to focus on becoming more meek. I felt a bit like a failure when at the end of the year, I wasn't a completely new, patient, long-suffering and humble individual. But I realized that I HAD improved in some areas, and that I was still learning and improving in others. I decided to make my goal of "having meekness" one of my life goals. I have a large frame in my room with the word "meekness" and the definition as well as some scriptures on it. I read it daily, and I ponder it at random times. It is a slow process, but the change is occurring. You can do this, whatever it is. Continue in study and prayer like you mentioned... and bring it on.
That is where the atonement comes it. It can help us change our hearts, even our very nature. In Christ we can receive strength to do things beyond our natural capabilities. I think that applies to all things, housekeeping, parenting, personality traits everything.
I kinda know what you mean. I really want to loose 20 pounds. But first I have to eat that piece of chocolate. It happens to me every day. I wish you luck in your endeavor. I'm glad you aren't telling your theme yet this year because maybe now I will think of one too and tell it to you when you tell yours.
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