let's be friends

Katie and her best friend Kenzie. They love each other so much. Sometimes they bite and pinch, but they always forgive each other. Photo courtesy of my friend Jill.

Hello my name is Erin, and I am an addict.

I don't know how it started, but now, once I start, I can't seem to stop.

That's right folks. I am a controversial-topic-blog-comments addict. Anything from politics to religion to parenting choices, once I start reading CTBC,  I get sucked in. Before I know it, .... a lot of time has passed.

I like to think it comes from my desire to understand both sides of an argument. My opinions about things are in no way set in stone, for I never feel like I am quite informed enough to be rigid in my opinion. I am always up for an intellectual discussion about things. I like to wrestle with things and figure out how I really feel.  This is a good thing. But I always take it overboard and end up wasting a lot of time. It could also be because I am a logophile and my love language is words of affirmation, so I am always in search for wonderfully written words. Most of the time, however, instead of feeling more informed about an issue or uplifted or inspired, I come away with one striking thought:

Why can't we all just get along?

As a parent of young children, the most common issue that I am working with my kids is getting along. Last night we had a "who gets to pick the movie" issue. Ana wanted The Little Mermaid, Jack wanted Dumbo.  At first, they were completely unwilling to come to an agreement, but when it came down to the wire and I said that I would choose, Jack decided to agree to Ana's deal. (The Little Mermaid this time, Jack's choice the next 2 times.) This is the type of thing we deal with often. Katie wants to play, so I try to get my kids to teach her how so she doesn't just go on destruction mode. When the Jack gets frustrated, we expect him to use his words and explain how he feels. And we are trying to teach them that they don't always get their way, that other people have different (and valid) perspectives.

So why don't we expect the same in adults? 

I know intelligent, respectful liberals who explain their perspective with dignity and tact.  I know a lot of close-minded ones who think all Republicans are cold, heartless, bigoted fools. I know intelligent, respectful conservatives who explain their perspective with dignity and tact. I know a lot of close-minded ones who think all Democrats are leading America to a communist ruin.  There are some issues that both sides are never going to agree on. So we gotta make compromises.

I know Christians who are intelligent, thoughtful, faithful and portray true Christlike love. I know Christians who are judgmental and thoughtless. I know atheists who are intelligent, thoughtful, respectful and portray compassion and respect for others. I also know atheists/agnostics that believe organized religion is the worst thing on earth and that all religious people are brainless idiots.  There is a way to believe in something and to understand other peoples' perspective. We can be respectful.

I know mothers who breastfeed, wear their baby everywhere, and don't let their babies cry it out and they are wonderful mothers who love their children. I know mothers that bottle feed, push their kids in strollers and let their babies cry it out for hours and they are wonderful mothers who love their children.  Yet so many mothers put each other down for not doing things the same way. We need to learn that there is more than one right way to do things.

I could go on. Alternative medicine vs Traditional medicine. Introvert vs. Extrovert. Feminism vs. non-feminism (does that have a name?). Whatever the debate, there is good (and bad) on both sides of the spectrum. I am not saying that we shouldn't be passionate about what we believe in.  The Bible clearly states that we should not be "lukewarm" (Rev. 3:16). I will always stand up for vaccinations because I believe it is best in the majority of cases.  I am also skeptical of alternative medicine techniques. But I recognize that most people make the best decision they can based on the information they have and their values. Putting people down, calling them names, and focusing on the negative are not the path to understanding and respect. Those practices are unacceptable in my home among my children so why are they so commonplace (and not only acceptable but applauded) in adults across this country.

Please, let's all just get along. Let's teach our children to work out their problems with respect and dignity. Let's expect it from our political leaders (or servants as they should be called, as they are elected to serve their constituents), church members, business leaders and fellow parents.
Let's see a little bit more tolerance. A little bit more compassion. A little bit more respect.

Let's be friends.

And I'll work on quitting CTBC.