reach out

I have written a lot about our wonderful friends that we had in Vermont. Our friendships with them was almost instantaneous. We were all far away from our family, and we needed each other. We did family dinners and swapped kids for date nights and went to the park. We saw each other multiple times throughout the week. We borrowed milk and eggs from each other. We called each other when we went into labor, or hurt our back and couldn't move or needed to vent or laugh or cry. It was a unique experience and I knew nothing like that would happen again.

My absolute favorite picture of some of my absolute favorite people on earth. May 2013

It is different here. I love our ward and neighborhood and all the wonderful people I have met. They are wonderful people who love God and are willing to help anyone who needs it. We had people willing to come over and watch the kids (or have the kids over to their house) during Dave's whole kidney stone issue and I have a list of people willing to come over when I go into labor. Everyone is amazing, really.

However, because most of those around us were born and raised here and all of those needs are filled by their family. At least, that is how it seems. So, I have spent the last 6 months feeling mostly unneeded.  Not like in a "woe-is-me" kind of way. More like in a matter of fact way. I have just gone about doing my thing and letting myself be wrapped up in morning sickness and kid stuff and Dave's crazy work schedule. But I suspect that, like me, there are those - someone I see at church once a week or walking their dog around the neighborhood - that actually do need something from me.

So my resolution for the year 2015 is to REACH OUT.  I want to focus on lifting others up and seeing their needs.

Now, I realize that it might take some time to get traction on this resolution of mine. After all, we are about to have a baby and I imagine I will mostly be staying home for a few weeks. So perhaps my goal should be first, to SURVIVE. Then focus on reaching out.

I always set resolutions, but truthfully, don't always do well with them. Last year held a lot of changes for us and so it wasn't a great year for keeping resolutions. I only made it Leviticus in the Old Testament. (Partly because after we moved I started teaching a different class so I had that material to study.) Once morning sickness hit all hope for a routine went out the window.  And though I still get snappy with my kids, I think I am improving (very, very slowly) at speaking more kindly.  But, lest I think I am a failure, 2014 was a year for growing a baby, establishing a new home, and supporting Dave. In fact, I think in the last one I could say it has been the best. I don't think Dave and I have ever been more in sync with each other. Our marriage is absolutely stronger today than a year ago. I am so grateful for him every day and all he does for our family.

 I still believe what I said last year about resolutions. As long as we are working towards something, we aren't failing. It is always good to have a goal in mind. Something to look to and reach for and climb towards. Giving up because we think we can't do it or because we tried and failed keep us from seeing the best things that life has to offer. So even if I set that resolution to speak more kindly every single year for 10 years, change can still happen. Sometimes it is slow and almost imperceptible. But we are always changing as individuals. It is up to us to determine which direction that takes place.