the long haul

Dave and I celebrated 11 years of marriage this week.

11 years.

For whatever reason, 11 seems like so much longer than 10.  I can't quite pinpoint why. I guess 10 felt like this big milestone, but 11 feels like ... the long haul.

We are in this thing called life and we are trucking along and some days it feels long and tiring and some days it feels fleeting and joyful. It feels a lot longer and more tiring when we are apart, though. So I guess we've got that going for us.

We were married about 8 months after we met, 5 months after we started dating, and were engaged for only 2 1/2 months. As we were lying in bed the other night I made the comment, "We really didn't know each other very well."

"We knew enough," he said.

It's true.  I knew he was good and kind and smart and that was enough.  There were lots of things I didn't know, and maybe that I still don't know. So much of who we are comes out through the stresses of life and there is no way to really know someone until you go through hard things together. Through it all, he is good and kind and smart. He is steady. Always steady. How much I have leaned on that steadiness!

We have one more year of residency. Part of me is already "trunky." I'm itching to sign a contract and find a house and to finally KNOW (ha!) what the future holds.  But this week, I feel more reluctant. For 11 years we have talked about the "someday" of having a real job. And now its only a year away. And the last 2 years have gone by so fast and I feel like time is speeding up and when this year ends I'll have a middle-schooler and decisions to make and loans to pay back and we will be living what we were always waiting for. And then what?

 The long haul. We are in it. Time passes. It's both wonderful and frightening at the same time. I sure am glad I have Dave along for the ride. It's better with him around.