empty/full

I have been running on empty.

Completely depleted. It has been a long, lonely few months. I have felt tired, inadequate and depressed. But mostly lonely and isolated. I prayed more for strength in the last few months than I ever have before.

One week ago I found out I was having a miscarriage. This my fourth, my last one being over 6 years ago.

Though there have been tears and pain and heartache, I have been amazed and overwhelmed at the love and support that has come to me. A couple of my sisters have shown up to clean my kitchen, buy me lunch and vacuum my living room. Other siblings have sent flowers and texts and made phone calls. Friends and neighbors have surrounded me with love and support and help. One came and picked up my kids for the day. We have had dinner provided, and hugs given. I am overcome with gratitude for the love I have felt from my people and my God. I don't always understand why things happen the way they do.

I do know this,  I have felt God's love for me through the love of those around me. I have heard words of encouragement and compassion. I have seen goodness. I have been reached out to and sought out and surrounded with kindness.

And for the first time in months, I feel full.