Friday, March 27, 2009

when did I become "mom"?

The other day I was walking out to the car holding Ana's hand and I had moment where everything seemed so strange. Sometimes I can't believe that I am a mother. Though in a lot of ways I am very far removed from the flighty, boy crazy 17 year old I used to be, in some ways I feel exactly the same. Like life hasn't really happened and nothing's really changed. But life has happened and everything has changed.

Ana has become such a little person. She says such funny/interesting/observant/precious/not-so-precious things like:

"Its starting to get dark outside. I need to go tell the boys [her cousins that live downstairs]"
"This sucks" (which I don't really approve of and realize I need to watch my language)
"Mom, this is not a good idea."
"Daddy, you are my cutie girl."
"I'm 5 now! I can go so school!"
"I love you, Mama."
"Its summer now [When she looked outside and saw the blue sky], I can wear my new clothes!"
"Hi, buddy-boy" (referring to Jack).
That's..."terrible" or "amazing" or "beautiful"
"Mama, I have a question."
"I don't like you."
She says "but" all the time, like: "I'm tired, but I'm not tired." or "But, I really want to."
"Mom, I don't want to be supervised." (She said this because she heard me ask Dave to go in the bathroom to supervise her because she kept wanting to jump off the edge of the tub into the bathtub. She has said "supervise" several times today.)
Right now she said, "Mom, I really, really, really .... [about 10 more times] want my friends to come over."

She played outside all by herself the other day. I watched from our balcony. She's not really a toddler anymore: she's a little girl.


Jack still has thrush. I'm going to keep trying with the Gentian Violet through the weekend, then take him to the doctor. I've been wanting to get a picture of his mouthful of teeth. Here they are. He got the bottom two first, about 3 months ago. Then for about 6 weeks he was fussy as he got the top four from right to left. That's right, he got his fang first!
I still can't believe that I'm responsible for these little people. They are my whole life, and I love them so much.

4 comments:

A said...

Wow that close up of Ana is totally you!

Unknown said...

I so understand where you are coming from...sometimes I look at my big kids, especially Heather and Levi, and think, but I still feel Heather's age a lot of the time. How can I possibly be her mother?

L Anne Tanner said...

Grandma Egbert, when she was in her 80's, said that she was often suprized to look in the mirror and find an old person staring back at her. That's how I feel too. But then I could not imagine a life without Grandma Egbert or my own husband, kids and grandkids. It just becomes part of who you are. Only your body grows old; your spirit just becomes richer, deeper and wiser.

Shaela said...

I completely agree with your post - sometimes I wonder the same thing about how I became a mom (along with wondering "when will this end?") ;)