Before Dave and I were married I was dead set on going on a mission. I had seen so many people's lives change from a mission and I wanted to feel that fire. I also wanted to learn Spanish, and though I couldn't plan on a Spanish-speaking mission, I really hoped for it. Of course, I had to wait until I was 21, but for almost an entire year I had that goal. Even after Dave and I began dating and starting thinking about getting married, I still really wanted to go. After an unexpected phone call from my Grandpa, direction from a prophet of God, and some prayer and tears, I decided a mission could wait for retirement, and Dave and I were married 4 weeks before my 21st birthday.
Of course, I am thrilled with where my life has gone since. I love my family and have felt such great joy over the last 6 years since that time. There are times still when I wish I could have had those experiences. I know that as a member of the church, I have a responsibility to reach out and share the Gospel with those around me. Sometimes I think I am falling short in this area.
Sunday night the kids and I went over to our friends' house to watch the new Joseph Smith video that I hadn't seen yet. Surprisingly, Ana sat by me and watched the entire movie. I had to explain a lot of what was happening to her, and I confess, I could brush up on my Church history. It was a powerful movie.
That night as we were getting jammies on, questions came flowing from my 4 year old. Why did those bad men want to kill Joseph Smith? Who is Satan? Where does he live? If I make bad choices am I like Satan? How does God hear everybody's prayers?
I felt unequal to the task of answering all her questions. I was humbled by them. And I don't know if I was correct in all my answers. I realized then that the greatest mission I could serve is right here in my home. Teaching my children about the source of my happiness and the way back to our Heavenly Father is humbling and exciting and challenging and rewarding. All the things I thought I could gain from serving a mission (with the exception of learning Spanish) I am gaining right now as a mother.
Whats even better: I got to choose my companion.
4 comments:
You always have such great perspective!
AMEN!!! :)
I felt a lot of those same feelings about serving a mission while I was dating Tyson. I really like your perspective. I hadn't thought of motherhood quite in that way before. But you are right! We get those same kinds of questions here, and now I can try answering them and realize I am being a missionary! Thank you for sharing!
I love your insight! I hadn't thought of it that way before! I just had to give a talk on missionary work and it made me think back to all the ambition I had to serve a mission, but looking back, it IS so great to be a mother missionary- like you said, you pick your companion, you don't have a bed time, you get to read and watch what you want . . . it's great!
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