lessons of my twenty-eighth year

*I grew up in a bubble. Not that I was sheltered, per se, but somehow my personality created a bubble of oblivion around me. I was blissfully unaware and content with the world. I saw everything in black and white. There was right and wrong. Good and evil. Virtue and vice. And not much in between.

My 28th year taught me that there is a lot of gray area. There is middle ground. Answers to problems are complicated. Good people do wrong things. What is right for me might not be right for everyone. This is an uncomfortable realization and I'm not quite comfortable with it yet. But it makes me more compassionate, and that is a good thing.

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*Last August I had a baby. It was an absolutely wonderful, empowering experience. I was able to stay calm and breath through the pain, and just when I thought I couldn't go any longer, I had a baby. And I said to Dave, "I did it! I did it!"

My 28th year taught me that I can be calm. That even though it isn't my nature, I can be the eye of the storm around me. And I learned that I can do amazing, powerful, hard things.

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*When February and March hit with their unceasing clouds and mix of rain and snow, I sunk low. I cried a lot. I fretted and stewed. I paced my house and saw all my imperfections. I talked to friends who experienced similar things, and that helped. Then the sun came out and I was lifted even further. And I feel much better now.

My 28th year taught me that it is okay when I feel down in the winter, that it happens every year and that it will probably happen next year and that is okay. I will get through it, and when the sun comes out and the trees turn green I will feel better.

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*At the bottom of my low time I turned to anything I could think of to help. One lonely night I purchased "The Sound of Music" soundtrack. The moment the music started, my soul was lifted. "My heart will be blessed with the sound of music and I'll sing once more" resonated with me in a way I haven't felt in a long time. I laughed listening to "she climbs a tree and scrapes her knee, her dress has got a tear" because it reminded me so much of a certain daughter of mine. Then I heard "despite what you see I have confidence in me" and I felt like I could do anything. For the next few weeks I listened to it and any other uplifting music voraciously and started to sing to my children more often.

My 28th year taught me not to forget the power of good, uplifting music to calm and heal a troubled soul.




Today I am 28. Perhaps I really am "one year older and wiser too." My 29th year so far as been wonderful. I have a loving, affectionate husband, mostly sweet, happy children and the blessing of being able to stay home with them all. I have my health, great friends and I got to eat my favorite cake. Life is so wonderful!