musings of math, mars, and moving

It is still very cold outside. I am so ready for spring, but I know it is still weeks away. I can get through this. ... Two things have been occupying my spare time the last 2 weeks, both of which will probably just prove how big of a dork I am.

1. I have been meticulously going through the World of Math challenge over at Khan Academy. Basically I am brushing up on my Math skills to see what I remember and what I never learned.  And I really really like it. I spend about 30 minutes or more a day doing it.  I am not even going to pretend that I am naturally good at it. I make a lot of really simple mistakes. But I feel good doing it.

2. Dave and I over the last 2-3 weeks have been going through Veronica Mars on Amazon Prime. He started it and I was skeptical but after a few episodes we were both hooked. We just finished a couple days ago, just in time for the follow up movie to come out next week. And we will be watching the movie.


I pulled up all of my bins of kids' clothes to go through. I am working towards getting rid of 40 Bags in 40 Days. I have always liked the tradition of Lent, though we don't officially observe it, and I was trying to think of what I would give up for Lent this year when my sister pointed me in this direction. It goes perfectly with what I wanted to do to get ready to move, too. Do you know how weird it is to know you are going to move but not to know where you are moving but you know the exact date on which you will find out where you are moving and that it is now out of your hands? It's crazy.  Maybe that's how my Mom felt all those military years. I have a new appreciation for her and my sister who is currently doing that. Anyway, I now have 2 large garbage bags full of kids' clothes that are either worn out or I don't love and tomorrow they will be removed from the house. Dave and I also went through our own clothes and found another garbage bag full of clothes. Yay for getting rid of stuff so we don't have to move it! Here is a crappy iPod photo of my view of my living room. 

Also, today was my last day watching little Zach. I can't believe how fast time has gone. On Monday his mom is having another baby and won't be going back to work. He is such a sweet little guy and I have really loved getting to know his parents better. They are such a great family and we will miss them so much!

And that is my last two weeks. In two more we will know where we are moving. Time flies.

typical new england february

Sometimes when I am driving down the street with mountains of snow piled up on each side, I think to myself, "I can't believe I live in a place where this is normal. And where 25* is described as 'not too bad.'" But alas, I do live in a place where that is normal. Last week after a big storm dropped us a foot of snow, I took Zach and Katie outside to play in it. Except 2 year olds can't really walk in 15 inches of snow. I tried pulling them in the sled, but it kept tipping over into my footprints. They only lasted about 30 minutes.

I will say, the snow was beautiful. And on Saturday we bundled up as a family and spent 15 minutes building an enormous snowman that is waving to all the cars that pass by our house. So, there is that awesomeness. And not only that, I really appreciate spring and summer when they come around.

elementary school spirit week

Last week was "Spirit Week" at the kids' school. Basically each day was a different fun day. Ana was really in to it this year.

Day #1 was mismatch day. That was interesting. Mostly because I don't really care what my kids wear to school as long as it is clean and not raggity, so they kind of think that everything matches. Jack finally decided to wear bright red warmups with a nice striped sweater, but I am not quite sure he knew why they didn't match. He did get a big kick over the fact that he wore mismatched socks. It took a while to figure Ana's outfit out though because she kept asking "Are you sure?" when I told her that a bright red skirt didn't really match with a coral and purple shirt.

Day #2 was "favorite sports team." Ana insisted that I make her a Broncos t-shirt (she decided on her own that they are her favorite sports team).  I just so happened to have a bunch of plain white t-shirts to I traced the bronco onto the back. I am actually quite proud of the result.

Ana was a little disappointed to find out that not all of her classmates shares her love of the Broncos. In fact, when she got into the car after school she said, "Everyone said the Broncos stink." At which time I told her, "Welcome to fandom." But I didn't say it quite like that. I told her about how a lot of people like the Patriots around here and the Broncos beat the Patriots. I also said that Gramps likes the Cowboys and sometimes I tell him that they stink. She laughed at that and I told her it was just part of liking sports.  Also, that afternoon I chopped off her hair so I didn't have to deal anymore with crazy tangles like the one in that picture.

Day #3 was interesting. It was "crazy hair day."  Ana wanted really while hair, but after discovering that we have absolutely no hair products in our house, she decided to go with lots of braids. (And to wear her broncos shirt again. I guess she got over the trauma).

Jack on the other hand was super conflicted. First he wanted crazy hair, then he insisted that he was absolutely not going to school that day. Most of the morning was a struggle for him that included him breaking down into hysterics over crazy hair day. It seems that he didn't want to do it, but he also didn't want to be the only one without crazy hair and he just didn't know what to expect when he got to school. So I ended up walking him to class and showing him that most of the boys in the class didn't have crazy hair and then he felt better. That kid isn't the most flexible.

Day #4 was "favorite number day." Jack decided his favorite number was 23 (because that was Michael Jordan's number) and so once again I pulled out the stack of plain white t's and wrote a big 23 on it. I didn't take a picture but I loved what Jack did to it. He decided he needed to write different ways to describe the number 23. This included writing "twenty-three" along the bottom, writing "20+3 is 23" to the side of the big 23 and then drawing 23 dots, 23 tally marks and 23 squares on his shirt. I thought it was awesome.

The last day the kindergartners wore blue, and the 2nd graders wore red so that was easy.

It was actually fun, despite a few meltdowns and last minute throwing together of outfits. It was interesting to see what they wanted to do with each day. They are so different from each other and each day brings some new thing that they throw at me. And I guess they did go to school with a bit more "spirit."

my funny valentines

The kids had a snow day today. So far we have gotten about a foot of accumulation.

But of course, that just means we get to stay home and do crafts and eat heart-shaped pancakes and watch Robin Hood.

I love my little Valentines.

why my new year's resolution is not to lose weight

I have been feeling super ... blah... and grumpy. I always get this way in the winter. I know one of the reasons is because I get pretty sedentary. I am so so much happier when I am active. But I live in a climate where "warm" in January is 20 degrees, and so I don't go outside much.  And my waistline is showing it.

So, like many Americans I decided to set a goal of health. I want to feel good. I want my body to be strong and my mind to be clear. I want to eat more fruits and veggies and fewer treats.

But I am not trying to lose weight. Weight is an easy way to measure progress, but it is also flawed. People get discouraged when the scale doesn't reflect what they want it to, even if their new habits make them feel physically better.

I have never watched the Biggest Loser. I can appreciate the idea of helping people create new habits and changing their lives for the better, but I have never watched it. However, I was intrigued last week with the outcry over the winner. She weighed in at 105 lbs. So many people said she took it too far. All I could think was: What do you expect? You give a big reward to whoever loses the most weight, as if weight equaled worth, and then get upset when people take it too far. I know women, skinny women and not-so-skinny, who obsess over what the scale says or what size pants they wear. They talk about it to their friends. They talk about it in front of their daughters and your daughters. This has to stop. Stop talking about changing your body's shape.

I do not talk about my weight or my physical insecurities in front of my children. Ever. If they see me exercise, I tell them it is because exercise keeps my body strong and healthy and makes me feel good. If they see me eating fruits and veggies (and encouraging them to do so too), I don't tell them I am trying to lose weight or because treats make you fat. I tell them I eat it (and they should too) because it is good for them. It gives their body nutrients and energy. (Often when Jack is having a hard time eating his fruits and veggies, all I have to do is tell him what the nutrients in the food will do for him, and he is much happier to eat them.)

Please, let's stop the discussion about weight. Instead of telling people how much weight you have lost, let's talk about how good we feel and how much more energy we have. Let's talk about how much longer we can walk or run and how we don't get out of breath so easily.

Happiness is not found on a bathroom scale. Worth isn't found in a size 4 pair of jeans. My body is amazing. I want to take good care of it.

once upon a january....

... my friend and I went to a specialty Christmas shop. (We had wanted to go in December, but it didn't work out.) There were a lot of cool things. And some interesting ones too. Like this...

... in an attempt to get Dave's headphones off his dresser, Katie pulled the dresser over on top of her. I was in the room so I was able to catch it before she got really hurt. This was aftermath.

... I cleaned out a closet. I should have taken before pictures. See those drawers down there that now contain Katie's clothes? That thing was full of fabric in this closet. I also had a bin under my bed with even more fabric. So I combined it all into the one under my bed, got rid of a ton of potential projects that I never got around to in the last 4 years, and then put Katie's clothes in the drawers instead of baskets on the floor. And the closet is no longer overflowing.

... I took Katie and Zach to the Wal-mart. Katie leaned back in the chair like that and said, "Let's take a break, Zach."

...We made a huge fort in the front room. Despite Jack's face, he loved it! I think he was just mad that we were about to take it down.

... Katie and Zach played Super Heroes. Cutest thing ever.

on being "good" at stuff

Let me tell you a story.

I began my college career as a music major. I auditioned for the woman's choir and started several music courses. Only I didn't make the choir and my first day of my Diction course scared the crap out of me. So I decided I wasn't good enough for music and dropped that class and picked up a political science class. I loved that class. (I actually loved my music theory class too, which I didn't drop.) But BYU-Idaho didn't have a PoliSci major at the time, so I changed my major to Social Sciences Education. And I loved my history classes that I took for that major. But I didn't really want to get an education degree. I had also taken a journalism class, which I loved, so I changed my major to Communications. I actually stayed at that major for a full 2 years. During that time I took a general human biology class and LOVED it.

Then I got married. Then I got pregnant.  Communications got boring and I had no interest in marketing or advertizing or broadcasting and got really really bored with my teachers telling me to network. So I started taking Health Sciences classes. Dave and I took Anatomy and Physiology together and I loved that class. Then Ana was born. And I really wanted to graduate but I was kind of all over the place.

The day before Ana turned 1, I graduated from BYU-Idaho with a Bachelor of Arts in University Studies, with an emphasis in Health Science and Communication. I was so happy! I cherish that piece of paper.

Graduation day 2007

Fast forward to now. I miss school. I want to go back so badly. I love sitting in class and writing notes and writing papers and taking tests. I know, I am a nerd. The cool thing is, our top two residency choices offer tuition reduction for residents' spouses.  Which means you can bet that I will be taking classes.

As you can tell from my prior college experience, I am interested in a lot of things. I didn't study much hard science or math in college, but I would really, really like to. I do math in my head all the time. I am always looking for patterns and analyzing statistics. One of my favorite classes in college was Epidemiology, which is very statistics based. I am always asking Dave science questions about things like water displacement or other nerdy subjects. So, randomly I go on websites and look up Master's Degree requirements. Today I was looking up getting a second bachelor's in Math. Reading the list of required classes made me nervous. What if Calculus is hard? Can I even do it? Am I smart enough to take classes like that?

And then I had an epiphany.

Why do we think we have to be "good" at something in order to enjoy it?

I am not "good" at running. When I was in the peak of my physical fitness, I ran a half marathon and barely managed 10 minute miles. That is twice as slow as those who run the Boston Marathon.  And they run twice as long. But I really enjoy doing it. It feels good. It makes me happy.

That first day of college I got scared because I was afraid I wasn't good at singing and I quit. It probably would have been hard. I would not have been the best singer in the group. But I enjoy singing and that might have been enough.

So many times I get down on myself about my mothering skills. Just this morning I was trying to get Ana to do something and was failing miserably. She refused. Dave walked in and within 2 minutes she was on the right track. Stuff like that happens a lot. I often get down on myself that I am not "good" at mothering. (This morning I decided to just be grateful for Dave instead.) But just because someone else is a more natural parent than I am doesn't mean I need to feel frustrated all the time. I can still enjoy myself.

I still don't know what I will study when I go back to school.  But I am not going to let my perceptions of what I am "good" at (a.k.a. what comes easily/naturally) determine what I aim for. I can enjoy things even if I have to work really really hard for them.

this morning

My goodness time is slipping by.

This morning after I got the kids off to school I wanted to do something. As part of my new morning routine I have told myself not to get on the computer until my morning chores are done. You know, cleaning up breakfast, starting the laundry, etc. But this morning I didn't just want to hum around the house, I wanted to dig in. So I decided to tackle my sewing stuff. I went through all my fabric and notions and patterns and projects. I decided which things to actually mend, and which repurposing/mending projects to give up. I consolidated all my fabric into 2 boxes instead of 4. I was even able to free up a set of drawers for Katie's clothes, which had been on her bedroom floor in baskets and were impossible to keep neat. 

It felt good to get something very productive done. It felt like I just gave my stressed-because-I-am-about-to-move- self a little present by getting one project done. 

But I did stop in the middle and do puzzles with Katie and eat lunch with her. That felt good too.

That's all I have to say about that.

new year's resolutions

As I peruse my list of resolutions for this year, one thing pops out in my mind.

I must be craving a routine.

Seriously, for the last several months, I am mostly flying by the seat of my pants. Some mornings I get busy and do stuff, some I just sit around. Most days I feel frazzled and frustrated. Often I see my kids as interruptions of all the stuff I have to do instead of the reason I do it all.

So, that's going to change this year. I am ready to get cracking and making my days more purposeful and routined. Maybe then Katie won't fight quite so much when it is time to get dressed or go pick up the kids. Maybe then it will be easier to not let the computer suck the life out of my day. Maybe then I will actually get healthy if I have a set aside time to exercise. Maybe then I won't let the day go without reading my scriptures if it is part of my routine.

Specifically, my goals are:

1. Exercise regularly and eat more fruits and veggies. (I want to write more about this later.)

2. Read the Old Testament. (This is the one book of scripture that I don't think I have read cover to cover. So I am going to.)

3. No computer time until my morning routine is done. (I mean seriously, if I expect my kids to get their morning stuff done before TV, shouldn't I hold myself to the same standard?)

4. Speak more kindly. (This one isn't quite so routine-y, but I think it will come more naturally as I do the above things. It seems like it is already.)

I will also say a word about New Year's Resolutions. I have decided the reason why people (me included) are less than successful every year is because they try to focus on everything all at once. I think we would all have more success if we took smaller steps and focused on one thing at a time.  If I work out one day but the rest of my morning wasn't as routined, (I made up that word) that is still a success. If I was really kind to my children but seemed to miss my exercise, that was a success. If I get them all in, great. But if not, it is okay too. Also, we focus on the negative things. We want to LOSE weight. We want to yell less. We want to waste less time. And then when we mess up we beat ourselves up about it. Maybe I am the only one who does that. This year, I am focusing on positive things and praising myself for my successes instead of getting down on myself for the slip ups. That is my success plan for the year.

I know not everyone is into Resolutions. I am. I like the clean slate and a fresh start. I like that there is an easy way to categorize life and change. I like that I can look back on a year and say, "That was the year I _____."  The year is an objective measure of time.  And so many things about life are not objective.

starting off with a bang

I have been trying to get to posting this for 2 days. I finally have a minute in between cleaning up Christmas and getting the kids back into routine.

We have had a memorable first week of 2014. Its been kind of a little crazy, truthfully. Here is a recap:

Wednesday: Took the kids the see Frozen. Such a cute movie! It was Katie's first movie in the movie theater. I wasn't sure how she would do but she sat on my lap watching intently the entire time. We have been singing "Let it go" all week. The kids were super grumpy this day, given the fact that they were up til midnight the night before. Are we the only ones that let our kids stay up? The movie was a welcome ray of sunshine in the day.

Thursday: Jack and Ana and went back to school. Half way through the day I picked up Dave to take him to a dentist appointment when we heard the heartbreaking news from the Larsen family that one of our nephews died. He was 21. He was a fun, kind, unique guy and he will be missed. We wish we could have been there this week with the family.

Saturday: We went to Dick's Sporting Goods to make a return and afterwards ran into Old Navy to check out their clearance. When we returned to the car I realized I had locked the keys inside. So in the freezing cold weather we walked our kids a couple blocks to the grocery store where our neighbor and friend, Sara, happened to be grocery shopping. When she finished she took Dave home where he picked up the Buick and the extra keys to come back and get us. I did our grocery shopping while we were waiting. He stopped on the way to get gas and then the Buick wouldn't start back up again. At all. By this time I was done shopping but it was too freezing to go anywhere so the kids and I camped out on a bench while we waited. I had a bag of Reese's Pieces in my purse so I asked the kids questions they had to answer to get one. They really did great. We were there about an hour. Meanwhile, Dave called our friend to come back and pick him up, push the car into a parking space and drive to get us. Dave knew what the Buick needed - there was a screw into the battery that was completely stripped and wasn't functioning anymore - so we stopped at the parts store to pick up a new part. At this point we were 2 hours late for some dinner plans. Later that night Dave went back to fix the Buick. He replaced the part and now it starts right up.

Monday: While the rest of the country was getting freezing temperatures, we had a day of warm(ish - 40*) weather and rain, rain, rain. Which happened to flood our basement just a little. Nothing too major, though.

Tuesday: Temperatures dropped and everything froze. So now we have a nice, thick sheet of ice on everything. So thick actually that Ana strapped on her ice skates and was skating on the sidewalks and driveway.

( It is supposed to be warm again this weekend. (Warm is relative when you live in the Northeast). I hope it melts everything.  Then it can go back down to cold and we can have a nice snow. Right now it is ice on top of snow on top of ice on top of snow. )

So, now that we have that week behind us, it is time to get in full gear into my New Year's Resolutions. I have made my list and feel like I have been doing pretty well. A post on that will be forthcoming.

Here's to 2014!