vermont is good for me

When I was younger it was always a dream of mine to visit Vermont in the fall. I imagined driving through the hills full of color for a weekend and then leaving. Now I live here. I have driven through mountains full of color. I have picked blueberries in the summer, visited a maple sugarhouse in the spring and watched the snow fall silently in the winter. I know the streets (mostly) and the lakes and the towns. I know the culture and the atmosphere and the absolute beauty of the place.
 
But mostly, I know the people. The people I have met here, especially the women, are incredible. From the fellow med-student spouses, to the other mothers that find themselves here for other reasons, to "Vermonters" who raised their kids here, I have learned and grown and changed so much because of the women here.

I spent an hour tonight at a Relief Society Activity talking about negative self-talk (and that we, as women, need to STOP IT!)  It was fabulous. Seriously.  On the way home, I got a little caught up in the fact that I live here. I live almost as far from "home" as I can possibly go in the continental US, and yet it is home to me now.  I am so glad that we took the leap of faith it took to come here, when other places made more sense. I am better for having lived here.

My kids have made some awesome friends too. We love it here!

a book review: the alchemist by paulo coelho

So, I missed book club tonight. It is funny because I've been looking forward to it ever since I finished the book last week. Even this morning I asked someone if they were going. Yet somehow 7:30 came and went and I totally spaced it. At 8:45 I realized I forgot, thought about going anyway, but realized that since my kids weren't in bed and Dave needed to run a quick errand and Katie was going crazy, it just wasn't in the cards tonight.  Book Club is my aboslute favorite girls' night and so that was a bummer. But that doens't have to stop me from sharing my thoughts on the book. (If you haven't read the book and want to, my review contains spoilers.)


The Alchemist is a story of a young man who leaves his life as a Spanish shepherd after a vision he had tells him to go the pyramids to seek a treasure. Encouraged by an old, wise king and directed by omens, he sets out on his way to seek his "personal legend." He encounters problems along the way, but perseveres until he reaches the pyramids and eventually finds his treasure close to home.

On the surface, it seems the message of the book is to seek out our own personal legends. The journey toward our dream may be fraught with dangers and discouragement, but it is worth it. Yet, there seemed to be an underlying theme of "living in the present." One of my favorite quotes was from a seer that the boy sees, wanting him to tell him the future. "If good things are coming, they will be a pleasant surprise," said the seer. "If bad things are, and you know in advance, you will suffer greatly before they even occur." ... "The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it.  And if you improve the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity."  Eventually the boy learns that his treasure was closer when he was home tending sheep than to the pyramids.  This message seems somewhat conflicting. Was the boy living in the present by selling his sheep and heading to the pyramids or was he focused on some future thing? Could he have discovered the treasure by staying closer to home? Of course, along the way he learned many things and found his love, so the journey itself was a big part of his life after the treasure was obtained.

I am a little conflicted about seeking our own personal legends as well.  I firmly believe God has a plan for his children and that when we have decisions about our life to make, that God cares and will help us make the best decision. That being said,  I also believe He wants us to "do many things of [our] own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness." (source)  And I don't know if there is one thing that we are "supposed" to accomplish. If there is, I haven't figured it out for myself yet. Is there something I am missing? Is there a risk I am not taking, that I should? You could say that being a mother is my personal legend, but then, that is not something that you mark off of a life to-do list and then move on to something else, like the shepherd boy could do.

Overall, I liked to book. It was interesting, and it definitely didn't end like I thought it would. In some ways I felt that the story was incomplete. I found myself wanting more about his life after the treasure, and why it was called "The Alchemist." Perhaps I am missing something. It will be one that I go back and reread in the future.


Have you read "The Alchemist"? What did you think?

happiness

You know that song "Happiness" from Charlie Brown? (If not, you should. Go HERE to listen. ) That song is running through my head. I have two kids at school and one napping. I am sitting in a mostly straightened up house and I have 30 minutes to myself and I am thinking about finding happiness in little things.

Everyone's comments yesterday brought me a lot of happiness. I am so glad to know that you like it here. I do, too. Thank you for your kind, encouraging words.

Right now I have two kids in school and a third napping and a mostly straight living room so I am going to read my lesson for church on Sunday and eat ice cream. A few quiet moments in a day bring me happiness.

The sun is streaming in through the windows. Even though it is a frigid -2 degrees (feels like -17) outside, I am warm in my house, and sunshine brings me happiness.

Snuggle time brings everyone happiness.

What little things make you happy?

to those that read my words.

I've been thinking a little about this spot. I love to write here. I love that my children's grandparents and aunts and uncles can watch them grow. I like to share my opinions and I like to record everyday life. I love being able to look back and see how much my children change. And how much I change too for that matter.

I have noticed a decline in comments. I don't know if that means my readership has gone down as well.  I miss them. I am a "words of affirmation" person, and I love the validation that comes with hearing from those that read these words.

I have also felt like things have stagnated. Perhaps it was that 2012 was somewhat melancholy for me.  Whatever the reason, I am determined that 2013 will be better. As part of my goal to live purposefully, I want to do something everyday that I just enjoy. I want to find more room in my life for purposeful joy. I want to laugh at the crazy times instead of pulling my hair out. I want to smile at my children instead of snap. I want to excude happiness and love and light.

I want that light to be reflected here, and I want your help to do it.   So, what do you like to hear about? It seems like so many blogs are "specialized" into one topic. Parenting or home decor or cooking or crafts. But I, as a person, am not specialized. I have lots of things I am interested in, but not much that I would call my "niche." Sometimes I get all fired up about vaccinations and feminism. (Not usually together, though that would really get me going.) Sometimes I make a really good dinner. Sometimes I want to talk about my faith. Sometimes Katie is so darn cute I want to shout it to the world. Sometimes motherhood and housework and my endless to do list get me down. Sometimes there are moments of pure joy or inspiration. Sometimes I make fun crafts.  Are these things interesting to my readers? Or should I keep those to myself and just stick with adorable pictures of my children?

If you are reading, take a minute and let me know. What do you like? What could you do without? Whether I know you in person or not, whether we are close family or barely acquaintances, I want to hear from you. I am glad you are here.

I love this picture of me and Katie. I adore her.

ordinary life

I popped my camera card into my computer and found some gems.

Jack and Ana playing outside in the snow.

Katie, trying to sneak some more cake.

Jack and Ana staying up late to watch a show. I think it was the Rescuers Down Under, which Jack complained about most of the time. I think he actually liked it though.

Katie playing with playdough for the first time. At home anyway. Maybe they play with it in Nursery or something because she seemed to know what to do with it.

tidbits

Sometimes I get caught up with the fact that I didn't take a picture of something so I can't write about it. A picture is worth a thousand words right? So, how can I fully describe the moment without an illustration?  Here is a list of things I didn't (or can't) take a picture of that I want to remember.

*Our family sledding trip after the big snowstorm over Christmas break. Jack didn't want to stop. He went down the hill over and over and over again. Ana crashed and got a face full of snow. That, coupled with the hike back up the hill, made her enthusiasm wane pretty quickly. It was a beautiful day, though, and we stopped by our favorite pizza joint on the way home.

*Katie saying "I love you." She did it for the first time the other day and it was so adorable we had her say it a bunch of times right away. She only repeats it, but man is it adorable! She easily says more than 60 words and loves watching "Signing Time."

*Jack's sweet little prayer on his Dad's behalf when Dave got his eye practically poked out in an epic Nerf gun war he participated in. Jack was genuinely worried and it was so sweet to hear him pray for his dad.

Winter is settling in and I KNOW it is only January but already I'm feeling the winter blues set in with it. Last night I asked my sisters what they do when they are in a slump, and so now I have a list of things to beat the cabin fever.

 What do you do to shake off the winter blues? I can use all the help I can get.



Oh, look, I found a picture of our scenery where we were sledding. Dave must have taken it. So pretty!

thousands of clicks

This weekend we finally moved Katie out of her infant carrier car seat. I know, it is a little over due. Especially since it took me forever to get the buckle done up with her big, fat coat on. And she's 17 months old. And it was "expired".  (Though, I'm not quite sure how that works on a car seat, but whatever.)  It was definitely time. While Dave was home the last few weeks he took it upon himself to find the right seat and we finally got it all hooked up in the van last night.

Even though it was definitely time for the change and even though she is much happier getting buckled in and the seat is so nice and all of that, I can't help but feel a little nostalgic about our little infant carrier.

I mean, we brought 3 babies home in that car seat.

Thousands of times I have done up that buckle. Hundreds of times I have pushed it in shopping carts and in the stroller.  Click in, click out. Thousands of clicks, each one signifying the passing of time.  It seems I could measure my life by car seats. Now I have two big kids in booster seats (that click themselves!) and a little toddler too big for that baby chair.

I don't regret the passing of time though. When they were clicked in that first time, I didn't know those babies yet. I loved them, yes, but I didn't know them. Now I know that Ana is energetic and dramatic and observant. I know now that Jack is cautious and sensitive and particular. And little Katie's personality is budding too. She is spunky and daring and talkative and cuddly. She gives the best hugs and her little vocabulary is growing every day.  I love to see the people they become as they change and grow.

It happens so darn fast.

these women in my life

The other day I sent a group text to most of my siblings asking them whether I should cut my hair short or keep it long.

That simple act made me realize just how often I turn to my family for their opinions and advice. From trivial little questions to political philosophy to parenting, I often seek to talk (or text) my thoughts out with at least one member of my family.  (And I will pretty much agree with my Dad on any political statement.)

Much of what I write has inklings of conversations I have had with family members. In fact, my theme for the year, living purposefully, was inspired by my sister Karianne. She was the one who told me about President Uchtdorf's quote a few months ago. She also said that she recognizes much of what I write because of our chats. Perhaps I need to be better at giving credit where credit is due.

I am so amazed by the wonderful women in my life that fill it will so much inspiration. My mother, sisters, sisters-in-law (who are just like sisters to me), and my mother-in-law have inspired me to be better.  The inspiration has come by way of their examples, their words, and sometimes even their rebukes.  I am a better wife, mother, homemaker, sister and friend. I am more patient, more calm and more intellectual because of them. They are all women of strength and brains and love.

And it doesn't end there. Today in Relief Society I felt so inspired by the sisters I have here in Vermont. Their words and examples have filled my heart with love. Through them I have learned, among other things,  to put judgments aside and see others as God sees them. I am not perfect at it, but I am better. They have helped me do that.

There are others too. Other fabulous women that I have known in my life that have helped to shape me and inspire me. I couldn't even begin to name them all, but their impression is there. 


I am so grateful to God for such amazing women that I know and love.

my lot in life (returned)

They say those who do not know history are destined to repeat it.

Sometimes, however, history repeats itself regardless of my remembering.  Wash, rinse, repeat. Feed, change, repeat. The new baby cries, suckles, needs constant attention. Then grows, walks, talks, and suddenly, you realize, history has repeated itself once again.

For a mother,  the not remembering is a blessing and a curse. If we remembered vividly the morning sickness, the fatigue, the frustration we probably would stop after one child.  So we forget. And with it we may also forget the good things too. The things that fill our hearts with happiness and light. I try to write them down, so that maybe I can remember.

What a sweet, blessed history I have with these little souls in my care.

(P.S. This almost makes me okay with the lack of dishwasher-ness that is my life.)
(P.P.S. Almost)

happy new year!

I love the new year.  A clean slate. A chance to evaluate and change.

2012 was a weird year for me. It was good.  We did some great things and went on some awesome trips. The kids grew so much and became even more awesome than before. Dave rocked it in school and he's coming closer to figuring out our life.  It was also an emotional year for me. I felt turmoiled and frustrated often. I can't really explain why.

So now it is time to look forward. President Uchtdorf in the October General Conference said, "I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved."

That is what I want in 2013. I want to live purposefully. Some of my goals include rethinking my routines so that I can act out of purpose. And I want those I interact with to feel important and loved. Other goals deal with how I speak to and treat my family and others within my circle of influence.

Here's to 2013! Happy New Year.