train ride

On Friday we knocked off something off my bucket list.

Way back before I knew what a bucket list was, and before I ever thought I would actually LIVE in Vermont, I wanted to take a train ride through Vermont in the fall. I don't know where this came from. Probably my particular mix of nostaligia, Anne-of-Green-Gables-esque romance, idealism, and my love of American geography/history came together to form this idea that it would be the quintessential fall experience.

Of course, I couldn't live here for 4 years without it. Friday we made it happen. Dave worked nights all week so he was off on Friday. (Well technically he got home from work at 6 on Friday morning and went to sleep until it was time to go.) We had to drive a couple hours to the depot, and the ride was a little bit shorter than we thought it was going to be, but it was the perfect length for the kids. We had a great time and it was every bit as fun as I hoped, even though it was a bit past peak colors. 

Waiting at the Depot

Jack with his shiner.

Along the Connecticut River

We drove over this cool waterfall and gorge.

These pictures don't do it justice.

The Green Mountain Flyer

At the Train Station. We got to watch them change engines.

My beautiful girl with her maple stick.

Enjoying the ride

This house used to be a major stage coach station on the route from Montreal to Boston.

Even Katie loved it.

This covered bridge was rebuilt last year after Hurricane Irene washed it out. Can you believe how high the water was? Seriously, that was a crazy storm for the Green Mountain State.

Another covered bridge.

Ana's turn behind the camera.

Pretty trees. And this is PAST peak season.

let's be friends

Katie and her best friend Kenzie. They love each other so much. Sometimes they bite and pinch, but they always forgive each other. Photo courtesy of my friend Jill.

Hello my name is Erin, and I am an addict.

I don't know how it started, but now, once I start, I can't seem to stop.

That's right folks. I am a controversial-topic-blog-comments addict. Anything from politics to religion to parenting choices, once I start reading CTBC,  I get sucked in. Before I know it, .... a lot of time has passed.

I like to think it comes from my desire to understand both sides of an argument. My opinions about things are in no way set in stone, for I never feel like I am quite informed enough to be rigid in my opinion. I am always up for an intellectual discussion about things. I like to wrestle with things and figure out how I really feel.  This is a good thing. But I always take it overboard and end up wasting a lot of time. It could also be because I am a logophile and my love language is words of affirmation, so I am always in search for wonderfully written words. Most of the time, however, instead of feeling more informed about an issue or uplifted or inspired, I come away with one striking thought:

Why can't we all just get along?

As a parent of young children, the most common issue that I am working with my kids is getting along. Last night we had a "who gets to pick the movie" issue. Ana wanted The Little Mermaid, Jack wanted Dumbo.  At first, they were completely unwilling to come to an agreement, but when it came down to the wire and I said that I would choose, Jack decided to agree to Ana's deal. (The Little Mermaid this time, Jack's choice the next 2 times.) This is the type of thing we deal with often. Katie wants to play, so I try to get my kids to teach her how so she doesn't just go on destruction mode. When the Jack gets frustrated, we expect him to use his words and explain how he feels. And we are trying to teach them that they don't always get their way, that other people have different (and valid) perspectives.

So why don't we expect the same in adults? 

I know intelligent, respectful liberals who explain their perspective with dignity and tact.  I know a lot of close-minded ones who think all Republicans are cold, heartless, bigoted fools. I know intelligent, respectful conservatives who explain their perspective with dignity and tact. I know a lot of close-minded ones who think all Democrats are leading America to a communist ruin.  There are some issues that both sides are never going to agree on. So we gotta make compromises.

I know Christians who are intelligent, thoughtful, faithful and portray true Christlike love. I know Christians who are judgmental and thoughtless. I know atheists who are intelligent, thoughtful, respectful and portray compassion and respect for others. I also know atheists/agnostics that believe organized religion is the worst thing on earth and that all religious people are brainless idiots.  There is a way to believe in something and to understand other peoples' perspective. We can be respectful.

I know mothers who breastfeed, wear their baby everywhere, and don't let their babies cry it out and they are wonderful mothers who love their children. I know mothers that bottle feed, push their kids in strollers and let their babies cry it out for hours and they are wonderful mothers who love their children.  Yet so many mothers put each other down for not doing things the same way. We need to learn that there is more than one right way to do things.

I could go on. Alternative medicine vs Traditional medicine. Introvert vs. Extrovert. Feminism vs. non-feminism (does that have a name?). Whatever the debate, there is good (and bad) on both sides of the spectrum. I am not saying that we shouldn't be passionate about what we believe in.  The Bible clearly states that we should not be "lukewarm" (Rev. 3:16). I will always stand up for vaccinations because I believe it is best in the majority of cases.  I am also skeptical of alternative medicine techniques. But I recognize that most people make the best decision they can based on the information they have and their values. Putting people down, calling them names, and focusing on the negative are not the path to understanding and respect. Those practices are unacceptable in my home among my children so why are they so commonplace (and not only acceptable but applauded) in adults across this country.

Please, let's all just get along. Let's teach our children to work out their problems with respect and dignity. Let's expect it from our political leaders (or servants as they should be called, as they are elected to serve their constituents), church members, business leaders and fellow parents.
Let's see a little bit more tolerance. A little bit more compassion. A little bit more respect.

Let's be friends.

And I'll work on quitting CTBC.

pick kindness

I came across THIS blog post this week and it really struck a chord with me.

I am not really a consistent parent, and so her part about that was really refreshing. I am always forgetting about systems I set up, or sitting down and writing up schedules that I forget about by day three. I was so glad to hear that I wasn't the only one.

But the part that really got me was this: 

"be consistent.  yes.

consistently LOVING.  

and, if you cannot teach cleanliness and kindness, pick kindness...

they can learn cleanliness another day.

if you cannot teach potty training and kindness.

pick kindness...

they can learn potty training another day.

if you cannot teach your grand scriptural insights and be kind.

pick kindness... they can learn scriptural wisdom another day.

because if you can't teach with love, you aren't really teaching at all."

I read that I couldn't help but cry. I needed to hear that. It has stayed with me all week. 

"Pick Kindness." Choose to love.

Fast forward to last night. Jack had been cranky all day. I even had to take him out of sacrament meeting. He has been needy and clinging and naughty and I was at my wits end. Katie, too was really pushing my "2-year-olds are the best!" philosophy, so I was anxious to get her to bed. Dave starting a night shift tonight, so it was just me and kiddos. 

I let the older two finish up a movie while I put Katie to bed. (That consists of me sitting in there until she falls asleep.)  Just as she was starting to calm down, Jack came in. Oh boy, that really sets me off. Two minutes later, Ana came bounding in wearing something that was no longer her pajamas. And so it went. My frustration was mounting, and when Katie was finally asleep I sent the kids to their beds without a bedtime story and we were all upset. 

I came downstairs and started cleaning up the living room. Soon the door cracked open, footsteps padded part way down the stairs and I heard Jack's voice, "Mommy, can you come lay down by me?" 

"Not right now, Jack, I'm cleaning up the living room. I will come up in a bit." I replied, annoyed that he had come out in the first place.

"What if I help you clean up?" I looked up at my little boy and the words came to my mind, "Choose to love." So I smiled and said, "Sure." And both he and Ana came joyfully down the stairs, helped clean up the living room in a jiffy and went back up to bed. I laid by them for a minute or two, told them goodnight, and they went to sleep.

If there is anything I want to teach my kids it is to be kind. That begins with me. I am so glad I learned that this week.

omaha (or iowa or salt lake or albuquerque or tucson) on my mind

My favorite place on earth: Shelburne Orchard

 Dave is in the midst of scheduling interviews for residency. Starting in November, he will be traipsing all over the country telling various places how awesome he is.  This whole thing is a little nuts.  In February he will submit a ranked list of all the places he interviewed, they will go into a computer along with the school's ranking of all their interviewees and ... VOILA! ... out spits a "Match," which we open and read in front of his class in March. It is exciting and nerve-racking at the same time.

In trying to decide where to apply and weighing the pros and cons of individual places, I have been (self) assigned the task of researching different programs: benefits, cost of living, commute time, schools, etc. Some programs I get really excited about and typically every week it is a different program that I am determined it is our number one choice.  I know that really now it is a waiting game. My research helped us determine where to apply and now I need to wait for Dave to go and check out the programs himself. It is hard not to get caught up in the "when we move..." mentality.

On the flip side, I recognize that this likely is our last fall here in Vermont and I want to be present. The weather has been gorgeous and I have been trying to soak it up, fitting in trips to the orchards, leaf-peeping drives, and long afternoons at the park. It has been glorious.

My mind is mostly muddled and my attention span is about nil. Just while writing this post I stopped once to look up news reports on the shutdown deal, and another time to look up flight prices between two of Dave's interviews. It has taken me significantly longer than it should have. And I have a toddler to take care of and laundry to finish and dishes to wash.

mommy vacation

I have been itching for a break. For whatever reason, my skin has been crawling and aching for just a little get-away. The stress of residency applications and interview scheduling, along with the realization that I will be flying solo for days while Dave travels, have been grinding at my patience and productivity until there was not much left. Luckily for me, I had a trip to DC planned just in the nick of time.

As a family with a lot of girls, we've been trying to get into a regular routine of getting together just as sisters, but this year only 3 of us could attend.  So on Friday I farmed out the kids to my wonderful friends and flew to DC for a little weekend. My only goals were to sleep uninterrupted (success!) and have fun (also success!).

Clockwise from top left: National Cathedral, Capitol Building, National Cathedral (outside and inside), LDS DC Temple, a sign that said, "Because of the Federal Government Shutdown, all national parks are closed." (we didn't listen to the sign and walked on the mall anyway), Me and Shari in the airport, our view from our hotel room, and the Supreme Court (center pic)

I had such a fun time! I actually came home feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. One thing I love about hanging out with my sisters is the conversation. We talked about everything from politics to parenting to our love of absurdity.

After dinner tonight Ana said to me, "Mom, I haven't heard about your trip yet." Then she let me tell her all about it. I loved that she asked about it and that she listened when I told her. I feel like I used up all my brownie points and now I have big IOUs to great friends who watched the kids while Dave worked, and it was so worth it.

on the scenic route

Fall has descended upon New England and it is fabulous. The weather has been phenomenal and we spend almost every afternoon basking in the beautiful sunlight. Dave and I have been anxious to go on a leaf-peeping drive, but we couldn't quite figure out when to do it. Monday seemed like the perfect day because Dave had it off and we were trying to decide what time to get the kids out of school to go.

Then we realized, "Wait a minute. We don't have to get the kids out of school. We can go while the kids are gone."  They really didn't seem that excited about it anyway. (And anyway, it isn't like they don't see fabulous color right around our house.) We got the kids shuffled off to school on Monday morning and Dave, Katie and I took off to the Northeast Kingdom. It was a beautiful drive and as Katie slept most of the time, it was very relaxing and enjoyable.

Lake Memphremagog, Newport, VT

 
God's artistry at it's finest.

one man's trash....

It started when he was about 2 or 3. Somehow, no matter where we were, Jack had a stick in his hand. He found big sticks, little sticks, straight sticks and curvy sticks.  He brought them home and put them in a pile in my front entry (which really is used more for collecting outside playthings). His stick collection grew and grew until finally it was so big I could hardly open the front door. About a year ago I discretely moved it outside in our flower bed (read: weed and root bed). By then he had moved on to collecting rocks and leaves. I always thought I would take a picture of that stick collection, but I never did and the maintenance men came and hauled it all away. (I guess it was unsightly or something.)

Jack was devastated when he found out. It didn't stifle is affinity with collecting things, though. He has just moved on to something else: trash.

He calls it treasure though. He finds bottle caps, old cups, broken pieces of string, various shapes and sizes of lids, and containers. Oh, how he loves containers of stuff. Inevitable all this trash ends up in my house, taped together in some sort of creative conglomerate, or put into an organizer (which also is garbage).  One afternoon this summer, he took a mini muffin container and in each compartment he had a treasure: a broken marble, a pine cone, a little yellow flower, a piece of string, a penny.  He carried his treasure box around for days. Lately he taped trash onto a box and called it a robot: broken hangers and beaded necklaces dangled from it, tiny lids were its eyes and a scrap of paper his mouth.  The other day he found an old plastic cup on which he taped various things, including a dried up glue stick, and called it a rocket ship. They are now all sitting at the kid's craft table:

I often want to tell him that it is trash, to get rid of it, and to throw it away. Every once in a which I check myself.  This is my sweet little boy who is finding joy in something simple. Perhaps, instead of correcting him, I need to take a lesson from him. To create things from insignificant pieces of the world around me. To not let others determine what I find valuable. To see little things as treasures. To find and store up little things and to love them.

full of hot air

Over a year ago we found out about the annual Adirondack Hot Air Balloon festival. We put it on our calendars right away and totally wanted to go. (Who doesn't love hot air balloons?) Last year we had some things come up so we decided to wait until this year. So on Friday we got the kids out of school early and drove down to Queensbury, NY for the festival. The weather seemed perfect. It was warm and perfectly clear skies. The launch was scheduled for 5 p.m. At 5 we looked around and wondered where all the balloons were. We were really confused. For about an hour we wandered around, wondering what was going on. I guess the wind (which wasn't blowing very hard) made the conditions less than ideal for balloon launching. But at about 6:30 the breeze died down just enough that several balloon owners decided to go for it. There were a lot that were blown up, and while most stayed tethered to the ground, about 20 or so decided to launch.

(I had to take this shadow picture. When I was a baby, my family went to a hot air balloon festival. When the newspaper covered the story, they included a picture of an unidentified family's shadow in the foreground of a bunch of balloons. My mom swears it was our family.)

It was really fun to see the process: blowing it up on it's side, standing it up, lighting the fire, etc.  The balloons are really big up close, but as soon as it is up in the air, it doesn't look as big anymore.

We left at sunset and went out to eat. We were considering staying the night, but we drove home instead. I'd love to go to another one sometime.

on change

An unrelated picture of the kids eating dinner at the farmer's market

I've taken up listening to music on the radio while I am driving around. Usually I listen to ESPN, but I don't really follow baseball so there isn't much to listen to in the summer. Anyway, it makes me happy to hear fun, singable music. All growing up I listened to country music, but the country radio stations here just don't do much for me so I've been listening to "pop" or whatever you call it.  I actually really like some of it, which surprised me, and even Jack has been known to get his groove on in the back seat.

Not everything on the radio is good, though. The other day I heard a song that made me sick. I don't know who sings it or what it is called, and I don't remember the exact words, but I remember the message. This is what I am. You must embrace everything about me because I am not changing. I cannot change.

I felt sick. I quickly changed the station as a very distinct, spiritual thought came to mind: 

That is a big, fat lie.

Lest  you misunderstand me, let me be clear. I strongly believe we should love others regardless of their choices and weaknesses. I believe that there is One Judge, and that it is our job to be loving and kind and merciful. We do not know the trials that others are asked to pass through. Jesus Christ taught us  "Judge Not" and "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone."  I am not condoning putting people down and treating others with derision because of their lifestyle. 

The lie is that we cannot change. The wonderful message of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that WE CAN CHANGE. If we turn to Christ, He can take our weaknesses, our struggles, and our temptations and help us become better people.


"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

 Christianity is full of weak people. Some of us are judgmental. Some are addicted to pornography. Some of have a temper. Some have negative thought patterns. Some are materialistic.  And a million other things. Despite the charge to "be ye therefore perfect", we are not there yet. But we can turn to Christ and through His grace and power we can overcome our weaknesses. This doesn't mean that we should all be the same.  A symphony wouldn't sound as beautiful if it was made up of only violins. As we turn to Christ, our own gifts and talents and strengths are tuned and refined.

In a moment of frustration with myself a few weeks ago, I made a side comment to Dave that I thought I was broken. Immediately the scripture came to mind, "They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick."  Christ wants us to come to Him. He wants to heal us and change us. 

It is not an easy process to change. In fact, right now I am working on changing some things and it is hard and frustrating. CS Lewis said, “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” 


Don't buy into the lie. The truth is so much better.



*If you haven't read the Book of Mormon and want to, go HERE. It's a great book.

my sweater

Yesterday I pulled out a sweater out of my drawer and pulled it over my head.

A couple weeks ago, Dave made me promise that I wouldn't complain about the changing weather, but that we would just enjoy the wonderful-ness that is Vermont in the fall.  I love the fall, don't get me wrong. It's the long winter that follows it that causes me to dig my heels in the (beach) sand.

I thought I would be sad when I cracked open that bottom drawer. I thought I would sigh and mourn the end of carefree summer days of running outside barefoot and walks to the park and trips to the beach.  But I didn't feel sad at all. Somehow pulling on my sweater made me think of wearing boots and scarves and watching football and eating apple cider donuts. It made me think of drives through the mountains and trips to the pumpkin patch and the apple orchard. I smiled at the thought of sewing Halloween costumes and another awesome Thanksgiving with our friends.

Fall is so, so good in this corner of the world. (I don't think I'm going to have a hard time keeping that promise, Dave. )