I'm a mom

So, yesterday I was sweeping the kitchen floor, and I had to pause a minute to pick up some of Ana's toys. As I bent down it hit me - I'm a mom. I do the mom things all day every day. Yesterday, I cleaned house all day - Ana making a mess in my wake. I make dinner, do laundry and take pride in my home and my daughter. Somedays it seems mundane and tedious and boring. Other days it seems more than I can handle. And some days, its perfect. And its what I always wanted to do.

I talked to my dear cousing Emily yesterday. We are the same age. She works in DC and has so many cool and adventerous experiences. Some days, I read her blog and think "wow, I wish I could do that." But I know that if I was in her shoes, all I would want is to get married and have kids. That's always what I wanted out of life. Sometimes I forget that I already am what I want to be when I grow up.

We invited my old roommate Laura and her husband Jake over for FHE last night. We talked about being your best self and how so often we put ourselves down in front of others instead of letting our light shine. And we put off changing and becoming better until we have more time or until our kids are a little older. I realized that there is no reason why my house is always a mess, or that I can barely find time to play or read with Ana. There is no reason why I can't find time to scrapbook and sew or write thank you notes or whatever else I wish I had time for. Jake said last night, "If we do not do hard things ourselves, the Lord will give us hard things to do." I loved that! It is hard to be a mom, but what greater trial and blessing could Heavenly Father bestow on me.

I'm a mom. And I've resolved to be a better one. To be the mom and wife and Erin that I really want to be, because really, what is stopping me?