About the time Jack turned 3, maybe sooner, but I started noticing it then, I realized that he was a boy. Of course, I had always known he was. But suddenly, he didn't quite so easily give in to Ana's whims of what to play or watch on TV and his play became more ... "boy-ish." Suddenly his cars were zooming in the air and everything became a sword. He wanted to get Spiderman things. Which I found especially weird because we have never introduced him to Spiderman.
Suddenly I can see the difference in boys and girls. Despite Ana's love of pink and princesses and arts and crafts, Jack's not interested. They are different. Jack checks books out from the library about space and science and Ana wants books about fairies and unicorns. Jack paints blue and green blobs and Ana paints rainbows. Ana wants to watch Barbie princess movies and Jack prefers Thomas and Cars.
Recently there seems to be all this hoopla about gender roles. People are raising their children to be "genderless." Disney states that princesses teach outdated ideals. People freak out over gender specific toys or games or sports.
But men and women are different. Physiologically, emotionally, spiritually. What is the sense in telling girls to be more like boys or boys to be more like girls. Isn't that sending the signal that they should ignore who they are and conform to society's standard of sameness?
I am a woman. I have the physiological parts and hormones and emotional inclinations ideal for motherhood. Motherhood is a noble calling. I have no issues teaching my daughters to be feminine, to want to be a mother, and to find joy in keeping hearth and home.
I will also teach her to get an education, to be kind and to stand up for what is right.
Dave is a man. He has the physicological parts and hormones and emotional inclinations for fatherhood and manhood. He takes pride in his ability to provide for his family. I have no issues teaching my sons to "be a man" by working hard and wanting and providing for his family.
I will also teach him to treat women with respect, to be kind and to stand up for what is right.
In a world with increasingly blurry lines of gender roles, I stand by the traditional ones. Men and women are different. And we need each other.
7 comments:
Agreed. I like you. :)
It's not about raising them to gender neutral beings. It's about giving our children the opportunity/freedom to develop as they like it. For example I always was a girly girl. My sister was more of a tomboy. So I chose a pink baby baggy for my dolls, my sister a blue one. And she had short hair. She didn't turn out any less of woman than I am. My brother had dolls to play with. I can't see how he isn't a man today.
AMEN!
Love the you tube Christmas video:)
Kerstin: my point is that there are inherent, natural differences between boys and girls. Of course there is room for individual variations. I am not saying I'm going to force my boys to play sports and my girls to play princess. I'm saying that I'm going to nurture their natural gender differences because those differences are wonderful and complementary.
Your writing is wonderful.
Erin- you are seriously a great writer! I love reading your blog.
The problem with examples (your kids and my siblings) is that they are only examples. I'm not saying that you are per se wrong. I'm just not fully convinced whether you are right about natural gender differences.
You kids' differences COULD come from the fact that you and your husbands have the typical roles (stay at home mother and work outside the house - there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion).
I principally believe that a husband and a wife have to care for each others' needs - irrelevant whether they derive from their gender or not. But I still believe that this is a fact, when the wife decides not to just stay at home, but to have a job outside the house as well. I know that this is just another example, so it's hard to really let it count as an arguement.
And sorry for using the comment for a long opinion, but your blog actually makes me think. Not that I don't think without it, but I want to tell you of my opinion as well.
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