October 2011
Last week I had several people, upon seeing me out and about with my 3 children in tow, make the comment, "You have your hands full."
I came across a quote a while back that describes how I feel in moments like that. "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart."
It's a little cheesy and wordy to say to a perfect stranger, so I never know quite how to respond. I usually just smile and say, "yes" and every once in a while I say, "full of good things." Because that is how I feel. My hands are full. It seems they are filling faster than I can keep up. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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Last week I was helping out in Ana's classroom, like I do most Monday afternoons. I always have Jack and Katie in tow, and I tote Katie on my hip and Jack finds blocks or cars to play with. Last Monday one of Ana's classmates said to me, "Where does the baby go when you are at work?"
I smiled and said, "I get to stay home with them."
It is too bad that working moms are the norm these days.
I always find it interesting when people say, "I don't have the luxury of staying home."
Before starting medical school, we lived in a rented two-bedroom house. The wall-paper was peeling off the walls. The bathroom floor linoleum was cracked so bad I didn't even want to stand on it. The pantry was dark and the kitchen was carpeted. In the winter, I couldn't run the vacuum and the bedroom heaters ((at the same time)) without tripping the breaker. The washing machine had to drain through the kitchen sink because the pipes froze up. Our health insurance cost more than our rent and scrimped and saved to go on a 5 day getaway for less than $500. I stayed home.
I wouldn't call that luxury.
My sisters and my friends have had similar stories. Stories of going without a lot of things because being home with the kids is more important.
I made a choice to stay home. I know that is not always possible, and I am so grateful for having a choice. I still wouldn't call it a luxury. It is a choice.
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Yesterday Dave was at the hospital all day. He left at 6:45 am and returned at 8 pm. How fitting that for Mother's Day, I spent my day being a mother.
And since motherhood is happy, it was a Happy Mother's Day after all.
Ana is home sick today. I have loads of laundry and dishes and housework to get caught up on. And lots of hugs and snuggles to give.
7 comments:
I agree 100%. I think most mothers can't afford NOT to stay home with their kids, it may involve sacrifice and rethinking what the NEEDs of the family actually are, but I think the majority of mothers could stay home if it was really important to them. It's breaks my heart, that more mothers don't make that choice for their children. Keep up the good work!
I get te same comments. Lately I've been saying, "oh, it's always a party!" it's an awkward thing to answer too. I really like your answer though. As frustrated as I am tonight, and as happy as I am that the kids are tucked snuggly in bed, I wouldnt change it for anything!
You should write a book on what motherhood is to you - you have such an authentic voice when you write, and a good sense of humor. It's a book I'd love to read (and love to give to my friends). Just sayin'. :) (btw, I LOVE that cheesy quote!!)
You are such a good mother! I love reading your blog because you can tell that you absolutely love your children. I am going to steal the quote about your heart being full because it describes it perfectly! Keep up the good work---you are doing an amazing job!
Out of curiosity: If I had children and I worked, because it would be my choice (my luxury actually), would you judge me? Would I be black or maybe grey?
Kerstin: I've been thinking about this all week. I would like to answer an unequivocal "no, I will not judge you." The fact is, I am a terribly judgmental person. It is something I am working on. I am trying to find the balance between standing up for my convictions and being open-minded and accepting. I haven't figured it out yet. But I do know many fabulous working mothers who nurture their children in wonderful ways. I imagine if we were to meet, our opinions of each other would be based on many more things than our employment status.
I agree on the latter and I can relate to the "being judgemental but working on it".
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