5 things I learned by going without sugar for 5 days

A few days before Easter, after days of binging on Starburst Jellybeans, I started to feel very ... blah... I was dissatisfied with my body and uncomfortable in my skin. So I did something I swore I would never do. I decided to go off of sugar and refined carbs. My sister Karianne does it every so often and usually sheds a few pounds in the process, so I called her for emotional support almost daily. Mostly I just cut out refined flour and sugar, but I wasn't entirely strict about it. I ate potatoes at dinner and sprinkled craisins on my salad, and I even allowed myself a small piece of banana cream pie. I did it for 5 days. Even though it wasn't very long, I was surprised at what I learned during the process. 

1.) First of all, I learned that I can do it! I can actually stop eating so much junk food if I want to. Yay for me! It is amazing what we can accomplish when we set our minds to it.

2.) Second, I learned how often I eat out of boredom, or just as a distraction from other duties. I walk into the kitchen and end up eating crackers or chips or jellybeans or whatever else handy. When I made up my mind not to do it, I realized just how much I mindlessly eat. This reminds me of my goal for the year to live purposefully. What else do I do mindlessly and without purpose?

3.) Self-control begets self-control.  Becoming more aware of myself and my actions not only stopped me from eating junk food, it stopped me from doing lots of mindless things - like randomly checking facebook in the middle of the day, or yelling at my kids without thinking, or putting off the dishes for other meaningless tasks. By consciously controlling one aspect of my life, I was able to subconsciously control many other aspects more effectively. I feel like this concept could be studied more deeply and applied to many aspects of my life. It will be an interesting experiment.

4.) Cutting stuff out is hard! You have to replace it. Eating nuts, cheese and fresh fruit often curbed hunger when I found the munchies hitting.  Once again, this has such an interesting parallel in other areas of my life. Those negative thought patterns I've been trying to change? I can't just magically cut it out; I have to replace it with uplifting music, good conversation with friends, poetry and scriptures.

5.) The most important thing I learned is that I feel so much better when I am taking care of my body. I had more energy and felt happier as a person.

Saturday I spent the day eating junk food with the kids while watching General Conference. Even though I had a Spiritual Feast, I felt like my body was teaching me an important lesson. Our physical selves are so connected with our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves and there is great value in taking good care of these bodies that God has given to us.

inspired

General Conference always leaves me feeling inspired and motivated to "try a little harder to be a little better."  I am already planning on studying in depth some of the talks on parenting and marriage. My favorites were Sister Dalton and Sister Wixom and Elder Holland. (View them all here.)

Saturday morning as we were sitting down to watch, I saw my little kids sitting on the couch ready to listen to the prophet with excitement. It was a touching moment. I love the Prophet and am so grateful that I can listen to his words and other servants of God every six months. Granted, the excitement waned and by halfway through the second session on Saturday they were running amok. But for a moment it was perfect. I hope as they grow they know that I have a deep and abiding testimony of God's holy work, and that I feel I am a part of it. I hope they know that God loves his children and does not leave them alone, but has sent a Prophet to teach them. I hope they turn to his words and the words in the scriptures for peace and comfort in times of need.

The rest of the day was mostly peaceful, and included a daddy-daughter dance, catching some fireworks that were going on down the street, and then tucking the kids into bed.

Sweet is the peace the Gospel brings.

 What was your favorite talk?

easter 2013

This Easter weekend, we:

*attended the med-students-with-children Easter party.
*flew the kites that the kids got at the Easter party.
*dyed eggs.
*were visited by the Easter bunny who left candy and classic 90s cartoons and bubble bath.
*dressed in matching clothes and went to church, where I spoke in Sacrament meeting and taught Sunday School. I don't think I embarrassed the family.
*relaxed and watched classic 90s cartoons.
*spent a fabulous evening with good friends eating good food.

Since I spoke in church, I spent a lot of time last week reflecting on the life of my Savior. 

 I stand all amazed at the love Jesus has for me.

flowing

This morning I was doing the very over-due job of cleaning Katie's bedroom. Several weeks ago we put her into her own room and put the older two kids together and while it is working well, I just barely got to tidying it up from the switch and taking all of Jack's stuff out. 

While I was working away, I came across this old photo and it stopped me in my tracks:

Ana was 2 weeks old. Why this picture was in Katie's room is beyond me, but I sat and looked at it for a while. I tried to reconnect with my 22-year-old self, but I couldn't find the connection. Somehow I don't remember what it was like to be a brand new mother.  Was I stressed out a lot? Was I clueless? Did it come naturally? What were my days like?  Time has wiped my memory of that time with just me and one little baby.

A few minutes later I walked down the hall to show the picture to Dave. I saw Jack sitting on his bedroom floor, looking at books. When I got to my room, Katie was sitting next to Dave jabbering about all the pictures in her book. I sat down next to them and talked to her for a while.

All morning my heart has been full of love for these little children. Katie is so big. She talks well and understands everything. Today I walked into the kitchen and she was standing on the step-stool using a beater as a microphone. Jack is such a great kid. He loves to read his Bob books and he is really doing well. When I dropped him off at preschool, I looked out over the Elementary School playground and there was Ana, waving at me with a big grin. She waved until I pulled out of the parking lot and then turned around and ran off. I thought of Jack at 3 and how I used to always tell him that I wanted him to stay 3 forever and how he is going to Kindergarten next year and how lucky he will be to have Ana there to hug him in the hallway and get on the bus with him each morning.

One of my favorite poems keeps running through my mind. I know I have shared it before:

Blood and Milk 

I dreamed of Oxford . . . (spires, a thousand spires, endless lectures, musty halls
a solitary self in a Bodleian expanse
A good life my dear Wormwood. An orderly life.)

then awakened to laundry
and things to be wiped
(countertops, noses, bottoms)

How did this happen? And when, exactly?
Time flows, it flows, it flows
and there are choices to be made:

left or right?
paper or plastic?
blood or milk?

There's freedom in the bleeding;
bondage in the milk—do not be deceived.
Ah, but it's an empty freedom; a holy bondage,
A sweet and holy bondage.
Five times I chose the chains, those tender chains,
(though once will bind you just as well!)
and checked the crimson flow.
Suckled while dreaming of Trinity Term
but awakened, always awakened, to the laundry
and to that small and cherished captor at my breast.

by Sharlee Mullins Glenn

Time flows along so silently I hardly realize it is happening. The things that worry me today will be behind me before I know it. Someday I will have a dishwasher and will forget the time when I almost cried at the thought of doing the dishes. Someday the couch won't be a constant laundry pile.  And though I stress about the house and the laundry and a million other things, they will probably be forgotten.  The times I sit on the bed talking to Katie, or play a game with Jack, or snuggle Ana on the couch will be cherished. It is a beautiful work I am doing.

maple, maple and more maple

Since moving here, Dave and I have fallen in love with REAL maple. We are now certifiable syrup snobs and can tell you all about the different grades, which ones we prefer and when that grade is harvested. (I almost named Katie "Katie Maple" but Dave thought it was too weird.)

As the leading producer of Maple Syrup in the United States, it is only natural that Vermont has an statewide annual celebration of all things maple.  During Vermont Maple Open House Weekend, sugarhouses all over the state open their doors for demonstrations and free samples.

Yesterday we headed up to a sugar house about 30 minutes away and up on a hillside. It was small family operation, and they were showing maple candy demonstrations, so we thought it sounded good. The first year we were here we totally missed the open house weekend and last year wasn't a good year for production so even though I took the kids to a sugarhouse, syrup wasn't being produced, so this was our first time really seeing it.

It was really cool. The candy demo took place in the family home, and then we headed outside to their sugarhouse where we were treated to "sugar on snow," a whole cup of fresh syrup (most of which Jack drank), fresh maple candy, and samples of maple sugar and cream (my favorite). We also could see the sap running through the tubes into the sugarhouse and the owner gave us a sample taste of the sap.

Making sugar on snow

Yum!

Jack the syrup guzzler

In the sugarhouse. Look at all that steam!

It was our first time tasting sugar on snow and it is so good! The syrup caramelizes on top of the snow and becomes candy-like. So delicious. We had so much maple that we all fell into a sugar-coma until we ate some real food at home after we got back. It was worth it though.

Some fun maple facts:

*It takes 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup.
*Maple sugar, cream, and candy is made simply by bring the syrup to different temperatures (and a few other steps). No other ingredients are used.
*The sap is clear and tastes mostly like water - but not quite.
*The sap is harvested in March when the days are warming up (if you can call 40* warm) and the nights are still cold. When the trees start to bud, production ends. (Last year we had a freakishly warm week, which caused the trees to bud early, putting a halt to syrup production.)
* A maple production farm is called a "sugarbush," the process is called "sugaring" and the building is called a "sugarhouse."
*For something to be labelled as "maple" in Vermont, it has to contain real maple syrup, not imitation.

stuff i love: kitchen edition

I've been feeling very happy in my kitchen lately. Well, unless I am washing dishes, then I feel grumpy. But besides that, here are some kitchen-related stuff I love.

1) My immersion blender. Dave gave it to me fro Christmas and I knew I would love it for making pureed soups, but I had no idea how much happiness it would bring me. Not only have I made some delicious soups, I have also used it for making mint oreo milkshakes, blending the eggs for french toast, and, my personal favorite, frothy chocolate milk. (Whole milk is the key. So yummy!)

2.) Coarse "Kosher" salt.  I used it for the first time while roasting some butternut squash and it added such delicious savory-ness that I keep using it for other stuff too. I don't know how, but it tastes different than table salt to me.

3.) THIS butternut squash soup recipe. Holy Moly. It is good. Seriously. The best I have ever had. I couldn't stop eating it. I want some more.

4.) Cookies.

What is your favorite kitchen item or recipe?

snow day

Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason why they cancel school here. One day we'll have 10 solid inches and there is school. This morning there was 2 on the ground and school was cancelled. But I'm not complaining. I like that I can sleep in a bit, and I like having Ana around. Plus, the snow was beautiful, and even though I don't appreciate that it is mid-March, I can still be in awe at the beauty of the place. Besides, if it is going to be cold, it might as well snow.

This snowfall happened to be absolutely perfect snowball snow, and Jack was out in it no less than 10 minutes before he had a pretty good snowman base going. He would have stayed out all day if I would have let him. 

Other snow-day activities included taking the kids to the church to run around (in the gym) with their friends, and the older kids deciding to have water pets during Katie's nap. I'm not exactly sure how it started, but I came downstairs from folding laundry and found this:

 

That is water in all of those containers, by the way, with bath toys floating inside. Incidentally, half of that water ended up on the floor, so I made the kids use towels to mop the dining room floor. It was much overdue anyway.

I still love snow days.

this week....

....Dave is home after finishing all of his 3rd year rotations. Coming up: studying for USMLE Step 2 and a rotation in SLC, during which we will all be traveling home. Yay! I somehow spend significantly less time on the computer when Dave is home. I don't know if it is because he is using it, or if I just want to prove my productivity (since the cleanliness of our home clearly doesn't prove that). Either way, we are here, hanging out together.

....I am spending a lot of time reading our book club book: The Gift of Fear. Very interesting and empowering.

....Katie had her 18 month check-up. She was approximately 22 pounds, (we couldn't get an accurate reading because she was screaming during the weigh-in, which really caught me off guard because she is generally a happy kid) and as soon as her diaper was on and she was let down off my lap, she put her clothes back on. She also eczema.

....I have been up in the night with a certain toddler. For whatever reason, she just isn't sleeping well lately.  And her hair is permanently crusted in food. And her favorite word is "mine" or some variation like "MY cracker" or "MY seat" or whatever. But she is adorable and smart and generally happy.

taking the sh---- out*

*I do not actually swear or talk about swearing in this post. Just thought I would mention that

This has been mulling around in my mind for a while now. I've talked about it to several people, and in fact, the kernel of the idea came from something one of my sisters (was it Kelli or Karianne?) said to me months ago. I was lamenting some thing or other, probably housework, since that is my #1 lament, and going on about how I "should" do this or that, when something she said stopped me in my tracks. Essentially, it was:

"Should" is a 4-letter word. Either do it because it is important right now, or don't worry about it.

This thought has transformed the way I think about my tasks. So often I catch myself saying, "Oh, I should organize my life." Or "I should change my routine." Or "I should be doing the dishes." Or "I should not let my kids watch so much TV." Or "I should be more like so-and-so who does whatever perfectly." The list goes on and on. I see other mothers around me who do things differently than I do and somehow think that the way I do things isn't good enough. That I should be doing some different thing than whatever I am doing in the moment. Sometimes my list is so full of "should-dos" that it distracts me from really living in the moment, especially with my children.

The truth is, we can't do it all. In Relief Society this week, we watched this video:




It was a fabulous reminder of all the things we have access to - particularly spiritual things - that we don't take advantage of. Yet, as I sat there in that meeting, the thought occurred to me: Even if that man knew what was available to him, he could not do it all at once. He would have had to choose the best and wisest things to participate in.

I cannot do it all. Perhaps I could do more than I do. Perhaps unimportant things distract me from essential things. Even still, there are so many wonderful things I can choose to do, and for every "yes" to one thing, it is a "no" to another. Instead of getting caught up in the shoulds,  it is okay to just say, "No, I am not going to worry about that."

I will never forget the day I brought dinner to a friend who had just had her newborn baby. She was telling me she wasn't producing enough milk and her baby was crying and she didn't know what to do because everyone told her breastfeeding was what she should do and yet it just wasn't working out. I told her that the best thing for a baby is a happy, loving mother and if bottle feeding will give him that, then don't worry about it. She gave me an enormous hug and through tears said, "thank you for saying that. I needed to hear that."  It seems that, more than any other group, mothers are always comparing themselves to other mothers. We are always fighting for validation that our choice to breastfeed (or not), or cry it out (or not), or homeschool (or not) or work (or not) is the "right" choice and the one everyone "should" do.

I want to start a challenge to get rid of the shoulds. To stop comparing what we are (or are not) doing with what other moms are doing. We can't do it all, but we all can be loving, happy mothers in our own way. That's what our children need anyway. 

The makings of a motherhood photoshoot:

random i love you

I have a couple posts sitting in the drafts because I didn't like how they came out of my brain. I feel a little foggy up there and I can't seem to form coherent sentences.

Having Ana home last week was wonderful. She was full of life and happiness (after she got over the barfs) and even when Friday was a totally disappointing day for her, she still managed to keep herself together. (That makes one of us.)

Last Thursday night Dave and I went to see They Might Be Giants in concert.  Weirdly enough, I was nervous. I have only been to a handful of concerts and they were all country and that was 10 years ago, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Plus, I wasn't sure how well Katie would go to bed for the babysitter, and that made me a little extra nervous. Everything was great, though and we had a lot of fun.

Although I get annoyed and grumpy and frustrated at him at times, the man I married is such an example to me. His confidence, his calmness, and his ability to live in the moment are such a complement to my self-doubt, intensity and anticipation for the next thing coming.  He teaches me so much. And the really wonderful thing is, he loves me just exactly as I am, from my most serious to my silliest moments, he accepts it all. I love him a lot.  So do the kids.

I just wanted to throw that out there.