I love her. I really do. And last night as I was laying in bed next to her (we had to move her to our room because she was so wired, even though she was exhausted, and then lay down by her for her to go to sleep) I was thinking, "man, I need to be better at loving her." We butt heads a lot. Its probably because we are so much alike. Strong willed, intense, emotional, energetic. She gets frustrated when things aren't exactly how she imagined them. (Like me.)
We've been thinking about what we can do for her. To help her learn to calm herself down. To help her enjoy quiet time. To help her learn to obey and be nice to her brother. I'll think something is working for a while, and then suddenly, its not working anymore.
Right now is one of those rare moments when the kids are entertaining themselves. (Though I just realized its because Jack is sitting in a pile of crackers and Ana was eating a cracker. I was talking to her today and I told her not to put her fingers in her mouth. She replied, "but mom, then I won't have anything to suck on." She's always been one to keep her food in her mouth for a long time. I guess its her comfort.)
Sigh... Motherhood is hard sometimes. Dave is absolutely the best daddy Ana could have asked for. Hopefully it will make up for where I lack.
3 comments:
I hear ya. hang in there :)
School will help her learn a lot of the things you're wondering about. Of course, I'm still waiting for Heather to get better at calming herself down, and she's 20! As long as you love her, it'll all be good.
my cousin used to hold her food in her mouth, and it stealthily rotted all her teeth. they looked fine, but they were completely decayed inside. seriously....it was like $4000 worth of dental work when she was only 4. wires and lots of awful stuff. sorry, this comment totally missed the point of your post, haha. i also wanted to say that loving her is the best thing you can do. i grew up with a lot of "i wish you would learn to not be like you are" stuff from well-meaning adults, and it took a long time for me to love myself. you're a great mom, and your kids are lucky.
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