the happy homemaker

Me - washing dishes last Sept - photo by Ana, age 4

Housekeeping does not come naturally to me. I've mentioned this before. There are very few household tasks I enjoy. (In fact there is only one I have found to not mind so much and that is ironing Dave's shirts. Though, I don't like having to get the iron out and put it away again, so I don't do it very often. But I don't mind doing it if I have to.) I am also notoriously bad at leaving my crap around. I've tried setting up schedules and routines and they fall flat. I even dedicated 2010 to establishing a house of order. The truth is, I have an inner struggle between what I think I should do/be and what I actually want to do/be.

For instance: part of me really WANTS to have a rigid schedule where my day is mapped out down to the minute. Every so often I sit down and write one up that I swear I am going to stick to. They usually last a couple days. Then I decide that I would much rather be flexible and go-with-the-flow, and so it is abandoned, only to be re-written a few months later when I swear I will be more productive. I really do want a clean house, but I also do not want to be so preoccupied with cleanliness that it I neglect relationships. Plus, I don't like housework, and the preoccupation with it just stresses me out and makes me miserable.

If there is one "rule of housework" that I have set for myself it is this:

1. Forget the "shoulds" and do what works for me.

Dishes are my nemesis of housework. I can never stay on top of them. They pile up and stress me out. I feel like I should do them after dinner but after an hour in the kitchen and a good hearty meal, it is time to get the kids off to bed and then the LAST thing I want to do is stand at the kitchen sink. So I would either begrudgingly do them or guiltily put them off. Either way I was an uphappy housewife.

Last week I figured out what works for me. I am a much happier morning dish do-er. After Ana and Dave are off to school, and Katie sitting happily in her swing, Jack climbs up next to me to play in the bubbles while I wash the dishes from the night before. My kitchen is clean for the day. It may not be "ideal" but it works for me.

All of the "housework" blogs tell me to do a couple loads of laundry every day. But all this gets me is a disaster of a bedroom and only half of my laundry done. I much prefer to do it all every Wednesday and Thursday, and then I don't have to think about it the other 5 days.

I also don't like to make a menu for the week. But I do like to pick 5 or 6 meals to have ingredients for and then I can choose from my list. That is what works for me.

I don't know why, but for some reason, this discovery has made me a much happier homemaker. So my kitchen is clean at 10 am, but not at 10 pm. My couch is a pile of laundry every Wednesday and Thursday. I may not be a perfect housekeeper, but it works for me.