Why wasn't I scared to have kids? I came up with 4 ideas that may have influenced me.
1. I grew up in a big family. My mom liked being a mother. We had a good time. She taught us to make bread and cookies and how to sew. She wanted us all to grow up and be mothers. And though my parents definitely encouraged their daughters to get an education (all 8 girls went to college, 5 have bachelor's degrees, 2 of those have a masters) they also encouraged having a family.
My mom and 7 of her 9 children, May 2011
2. I grew up in a big family. And I was near the end. That means that I watched 5 older siblings flirt, date, get married and have kids. I saw that they were happy. Kids were often around. I knew that they were sticky and noisy and dependent. But I also knew that they were sweet and innocent and adorable.
3. I grew up in a big family. I didn't have a lot of freedom. I didn't have many things that were my own. We shared chores, clothes, toys, bikes and rooms. We had curfews and responsibilities and we didn't have our own car unless we got a job and purchased one.
4. I got married young. I went from having no freedom at home, to having a little more freedom at college, to being married. I think I have had my own room for all of 5 years. (And that is probably longer than some of my other siblings.) I didn't own a car until I was married. I paid for college myself and I didn't have a lot of extra money lying around to go off and have adventures. Dave and I got married and we didn't have a lot of extra money lying around to go off and have adventures. And we both wanted kids. So we had kids.
And, actually, I feel like I have lots of freedom. I can take a nap when I want to. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. I can choose when to do my work and when to play. I swap kids with my neighbors to exercise or run errands.
Mostly, there is nothing like my little girl handing me a note that says, "I lev you, mam." It brings me a lot of happiness.
4 comments:
I love my freedom. Relish it, really. But I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to have a family of my own.
Great thoughts by Erin!
I love that 3 of your 4 reasons all stem from the fact that you grew up in a big family, lol. I did NOT. But I wished I had, because I saw my friends from big families exactly the way your life must have been. And even though I always had my own room (being the only girl), had my own car, and had plenty of time and freedom... I always wanted to have a big family. It was almost too much freedom and too much independence - I wanted more people around to share my life with. :)
You make me smile. I was complaining about having to get up this morning, and Brody said, "Well, you can always lay down once the older kids are off to school." He was right, I could. I have never really felt that children are an inhibitor.
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