new year snapshot #4: me

Quite frankly, I am a mess.

I realized it a few weeks ago and mostly have been noticing things that support it. I can't keep up on housework (though that is nothing new). I rarely fix my hair. I am usually running late. I drop things, spend too much time on the computer, and am super forgetful. In a culminating moment of my mess-ness, I found myself at church with a baby who exploded out her diaper, and me without any clean diapers or extra clothes for her. (Luckily, there were extra diapers in the mother's lounge and then I ran home to get her clothes.)

Surprisingly, this reality has not depressed me. Actually, the opposite is true. It was liberating. For the first time in a long time I really saw myself, and I was okay with it.

But if I am going to be a mess, I want to be a happy mess. Too often I find myself annoyed, frustrated, and short-tempered. This just will not do. I'd rather be known as a happy person than a got-it-all-together person.

As part of my New Year's resolutions this year, I want to spend my energy being happier. Which is why my sisters and I have started our own happiness project, based on this book. I do have a few other resolutions as well. (Because quite frankly, I'd like to be slightly less of a mess by 2013.)

So far, I feel like I'm off to a good start. This last week I have felt a lot happier. So though my house is still a mess, and I was still late for church this morning, I think 2012 will be a good year.