okay, my blogging is lagging a little (or) I have a really good excuse

I debated whether to confess my little secret to the blogging world. But, I think its time. Mostly because it is consuming most of my thoughts and actions right now, so how can I not blog about it? I am a little nervous, because of my history, but I suppose I'd probably want to blog about that too, so here it goes...

I'm pregnant. About 8 weeks. Due the first week in June. Haven't gone to the doc yet. I'm actually really, really excited about it. See, I had a miscarriage earlier in the summer. It was really hard on me. For one because all of my married siblings were pregnant at the same time, me included, and then I miscarried and they are all still pregnant (well, except the two that just had babies...) One sis is due in Dec, and another sis and my bro's wife are due end of Jan. I was also due the end of Jan. But, at about 9 weeks I had a miscarriage. I also had a miscarriage before Ana.

So, why, Erin are you choosing to write about your pregnancy? Because there is a big difference between this pregnancy and my miscarriages. A difference that was also there when I was preggers with Ana. Both times I miscarried I didn't feel any morning sickness, fatigue or any other symptoms. With Ana I was dead tired and mildly puke-y for the first trimester. So, with this pregnancy, before I decided to spill the beans, I wanted to be sick. At first I thought it was in my head... That I was wishing to be sick so I noticed every little queasiness or bout of fatigue, but last week in hit me. I am definitely pregnant. I hardly have energy to read blogs, much less clean my disaster home or do my dishes. I was so tired this afternoon that even though Ana was awake, I let her wreck havoc on my home while I dozed for 15 minutes. I usually feel really queasy in the morning, mildly so in the afternoon, and pretty good by evening - except by then I'm dead tired and can't bear the thought of an hour's worth of dishes to do. Which is why I decided we are going to use paper products until the dishes are done. And probably for a while after that.

So, there you have it... My little secret. I suppose if history repeats itself, I'll blog about that too. But I feel like this one's a keeper. Hopefully...